Need Your Input.

[worldtraveler23]

Hi:

Well, I had my post-op appt.

You are all so knowledgable, so I am hoping you will give me your input.

I am diagnosed at Stage 1c, Grade 2. No spread of the disease/all clean biopsies, etc. Ruptured ovary

My treatment options are no treatment (just the surgery) or 4-6 treatments of Taxol/Carboplatin. Doctor recommends the follow-up treatment and states this is the best opportunity for a cure. I had patient education on the treatment and it was very overwhelming. I am starting to feel like my old self as I am 3 1/2 weeks out from my surgery. I am worried about the side effects and also that I will be feeling sick for a long time (and now I am starting to feel well). I am scared about the treatment and am alone without alot of support. I worry about being able to manage on my own. I worry that I could be making my current health worse, not better. I agreed to the treatment at the doctor's office, but really have not made up my mind if I should go through with it. I am very conflicted about this. I don't have anyone that relies on me (like minor children). Do the benefits of treatment outweigh the negatives in my situation? In many respects, I feel like just living my life. I want to make the right decision for myself. I have always been pro-active with my health, but I also wonder if there are times when it is appropriate to say no to treatment recommendations and whether this is that time. I know this sounds vain, but I am also concerned about the impact this will have on the way that I look (I know I shouldn't care, but I do) and how this will impact my career (again, I know this should now not be my first priority, but I worry and have to support myself and pay my bills). I lost my husband a year ago and don't have much, if any, emotional strength left in me to deal with this.

Thanks for your comments - I need them.  

[crecco]

First off, I know that it is not quite the same, but here is a great big cyber hug! and try not to worry, it will be alright. You are making the right decision. I too wish I could have been one of the lucky ones to have had that choice to make. But my choice was made for me. Had the choice been mine though I would have done the same thing. This is your life you are talking about.
  You seem to be in good health and I think that that will help you get through the chemo. Try to keep a positive attitude and tell yourself that you are doing this for you. Hopefully it will not be very hard on you. We all react differently. I was lucky in that it was not to awfully hard on me. It will only be for a few months and then you can put it all behind you. Yes losing your hair is hard. I have lost mine 3 times now. But once it is growing back you can look at it as a new journey in life that you are starting.
  Our fear of the unknown is the worst. I know that i found the chemo to not be near as bad as what I was fearing. And after 3 years of it, it doesn't bother me at all. It is just a part of my life. It is what is giving me life, so I have never regretted it at all.
  It is hard when you have no one there for you, but please remember that you are not alone. We are all right here for you, what ever you may need.  You have made your choice and you are taking control of y our life. So stop crying. Stand up and dust off the seat of your pants and feel good that you are taking an active step to help secure your future. You have already made the hard decisions and the rest will be over before you know it. You can do this we all believe in you, so believe in yourself.
  Keep us informed and know that we are always here.
     Chris

[Mare4201]

I am so glad you decided to follow through with treatment.  I know how hard this will be for both of us especially without a support system in our homes.  We will get through this together!.

When I look back as being a 1a and told I had to have no treatment almost 5 years ago I wish someone had given me an option as to whether I should or not.

Mare

[Jan214]

Congratulations on being one of the lucky ones that has a choice. Having said that, you have no choice as far as I see it. PLEASE don't take any chances.  Yes, it su*cks big time to take chemo, but it su*ks worse being told you only have a couple of months left to live.  Give yourself EVERY chance to NEVER have to hear those words.  It is hard when you don't have a lot of support, but you would be surprised how much help is out there if you look for it.  Are you involved with a church?  Do you have a Gilda's club? Maybe your local ACS can get you some help.  Are you going to an oncologist's office or do you go to a big treatment center?  Usually a larger treatment center will have a list of local help you can get.  Also, if your oncologist gives you free access to a nutritionist (mine does) go see them. If they don't and your ins will cover that cost, go see one.  It can make a huge difference in how you feel.  I didn't know for the longest time that chemo patients need about 75 grams of protein a day.  One piece of salmon has 33 grams so you can see how much protein that is and they can tell you creative ways to get that without having to sit around eating meat all day. One of the women (and maybe more, I don't know) had a bunch of her co-workers donate their vacation time so she could still have an income when she had to take off of work.  Maybe your company would allow that or maybe they would let you have other people's unused sick days. Do you have short term and long term disability?

It is only a few months of treatment and than you will be able to put it behind you.

I have been told I have 6 to 18 mths left to live.  I promise you, whatever you have to go through with chemo is way easier than living with that hanging over your head.

Good luck,
Jan

[AJ70]

Hi there. I think that you are making the right decision. I have ovca stage 1a - but clear cell - so my oncologist didn't really give me an option. Without chemo - they could not give me any guarantees. With chemo - an excellent chance for cure. I could not refuse. Not did I want to. I have had four treatments out of six- and it hasn't been so bad. The first week is hardest for me......and I get depressed on the 2nd - 5th days after. So be prepared that that might happen - it does for some of us and you need support whether online or from friends.............the nausea is controllable with meds........the hair loss is hard but there are great wigs and scarves out there.......etc. Everyone is different - some "breeze through" while others struggle more. You can do this! You really can.  Take it one day at a time, one treatment at a time. You will get through it. Honestly.

Someone sent me a quote today. It said, " You can live your life, or you can live your life with fear."  Some days are harder than others......but I choose to live my life :) (yes, sometimes easier said than done..........)

Oh - and I found a website that has great scarves - I have never actually worn a wig because they itch and I love my scarves. (I have 6 of them) The website it www.4women.com  just in case you or anyone else is interested. They are pricey but I love mine :)

Take care. I am so sorry that you are going through this. This site has wonderful women on it who really care.  They amaze me daily with their strength and courage. You will find that you find strength and courage too, eventually.  :)

Amy

[worldtraveler23]

Hi:

Thanks for all of your comments. I really appreciate it.

I've decided to go forward with the treatment, although I am really scared. I have been crying alot. I wish I had someone who loved me to help me through this and that I wasn't so alone in this. I wish I had someone to put their arms around me and tell me that it will be o.k. The one family member who lives nearby is not offering much support. It really hurts, but I knew it would be that way.

I went this morning and tried on some wigs - found two I liked and the owner is working on getting them in my hair color for me to try on. I spent this morning and early afternoon running other errands that needed to be done. I am trying to get myself organized before I return to work on Monday - treatment will begin at the end of the week.

I am trying to get myself in a state of mind where I can take action and do this.  I'm the one who has to do this for myself. I hope I can. I'll need your support to keep going.

[manneca]

I live alone and don't have a lot of support. I was stage i, grade 2. My oncologist said chemo was optional, but I wanted it just in case. It was hard, no doubt about it. I have some neuropathy and I had an incisional hernia (I have heard that chemo may make hernias more likely). For my first chemo, someone took me and picked me up. I did the second by myself. My sister came and stayed with me for the third cause the second had been awful. I did the fourth one by myself. I had neupogen and then neulasta. I don't know if I would make the same decision. I'm seeing a different oncologist who says she doesn't think the cancer will return. So, maybe it was the right decision. There is just no way to know for sure. It depends on your capacity for risk either way. With chemo there are risks of side effects Without, there is a higher risk of remission.

[yrrek]

I was DX'd 1c 1 year ago.  I had one IP chemo with 4 IV carbo/Taxol the same regimine that is being prescribed for you.  I too had a burst ovary.  I am doing well today.  My CA125 has been steady at 8 since finishing chemo last April.  My hair is back and today in fact I had braces put on to get that smile I have always wanted so I plan on being around to smile alot.  I too was alone during treatment.  I am 45 and divorced.  I did have family nearby to help.  I am a nurse and was off work for 4 months.  I couldn't of worked during treatment but some are able.  I did get disabilaty payments.  I am so glad I did the chemo and wished I could of completed more IP treatments.  Hair falling out is creepy.  I didn't mind the bald head.  I chose not to wear a wig, and bared my head many a times and wore hats when it was cold.  I wish all the best and remember we are here for you to support you and help you thru it.  I got through it and so can you.
Kerry

[dian07]

First of all.....Happy New Year!  
I was diagnosed 1C in the spring of 2005.....my oncologist really said straight up that I had a chance for "cure"....that was huge to me......not everyone here has that possibility........it felt to me that I would be slapping others in the face to refuse chemo....
I can certainly understand your lack of enthusiasm right now.  I have to say, however, you are at a fork in the road....you must go one way or the other...please do take the one offering the possibility of a "cure" and , after time passes, a long and healthy and  happy future.
It would be so much better if in your future you find yourself able to say "I'm so glad I had chemo" rather than "I wish I would have had chemo".....
I will be thinking of you and hoping you have many, many more Happy New Years!
Peace.
dian

[silver&gold]

I was stage 1A  and had 6 rounds of carboplatin and taxol , my oncologist strongly reccommended it as I had  Clear Cell Carcinoma which is aggressive.  It is also very difficult if not impossible to know if there are a few random cells floating about even in early stage 1 .
It is personal choice really , I was too nervous to gamble on not having the chemo myself, even though my tumour was encapsulated with no spillage.
I did find chemo tough , that is not the case for everybody though, there are a lot of meds to help with the side effects now and realistic wigs , great scarves and other head gear out there. It is a hard decision for you especially as you are feeling so well , only you know what is right for you .
Wishing you the best

Angie

[bohan54]

Chemo was very rough for me and I am fortunate to have a large support network.  It's difficult for me to comment on your situation because I had to go through it to save my life if only for a few years.  Since the treatment can offer you a cure, I would be inclined to give it a try.  You will need a wig and flexibility from your employer should you decide to go forward.
Good luck,
Sharon

[jlock]

My sister was staged a 1c and had surgery only. But her ovairy was removed intact,but she had malignant cells found at her cytolgy test. That was 4 years ago and she hasn't had a problem since.  I would have the treatment due to the ovary that ruptured. We all respond different to chemo and you might breeze through!!  Good luck~~~Joanne

[shewrites]

I was a 1A, and my doctor recommended six rounds of chemo, which I did.  It worked, so I'm not sorry I did it.  (I'm 6-1/2 years past chemo and nearly 7 years from first diagnosis -- with no recurrences.)

I hated losing my hair, but I got a good wig, figured out makeup issues, and did it.  Also, I had very little reaction to the chemo -- just constripation a few days after the treatment.  Everyone is different, but you won't necessarily be miserable -- and a good attitude will help a lot!  

I had an important trip to take six weeks after my surgery, and I refused to start the chemo until I had returned.  The nurse gasped, but the doctor agreed quite readily.  It was at least eight weeks after my surgery that I had the port installed and started chemo.  Perhaps you should get the doctor to okay completing your recovery from surgery (six weeks, at least) before you start the chemo.  By then, you'll have had time to process the situation ... find some support ... get a wig (and a nightcap and some scarves) ... and generally make up your mind to it.  

You can do this.  Practically everyone on this forum has done it, and they'll encourage you when you need it.  

Shewrites