Some advice

[martymarietta]

I posted something on here a few weeks ago about my girlfriend's ovarian cancer bout and how it has strained our relationship.

Not going to go into details, but there was one other piece I did not mention...

My gf has known since we met that I have been being treated for spinal cord problems (not spine- spinal cord). A week before she was diagnosed I was about to get this health problem of mine checked to see if it had progressed.

Up until this week all I knew was that I had some type of cyst and mass on the end of my cord... it has been like a storm cloud chasing me around for six months.

This week I was told that I have a Syringomyelia (look it up please) but the good news is that is not progressing. The bad news is if it does progress again there is not much the neurosurgeon can do because of another congenital defect near the cyst. I am thanking God it has stabilized.

I have not told my girlfriend about the Syringomyelia or how much I am afraid to bring it into her life with all that she has going on...

When should I tell her or should I?

I cannot believe that all this happened at once.

[mermaid26]

My personal advice is that secrets do more damage than truth.  We can get strength from truth and when we "know we've won."  Compassion and understanding of others trials are what we should all strive toward.  It helps release us from our own burdens and focus our energies in positive directions.  I believe it is ultimately "selfish" to keep things hidden that may be of "help" to others.  We are not impositions on one another when we are of good intent. God Bless.

[gah_70]

I'm thinking along the same lines as mermaid.  Have you ever thought if you talk to your gf about your health issues, she might be more willing to share more of hers with you?  Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who's been there, and knows what it's like to go through the pain and agony of waiting to know something about a serious medical issue.  If you don't tell her and she somehow finds out later, what do you say to her then?  Sure, you can tell her you didn't want to "burden" her, but I really think this could be a talking point for you two that could possibly bring you closer together.  I am sending positive thoughts to you both, and will keep you in my prayers.  I really hope you both get the best outcome possible!  A good relationship is worth the work it takes to maintain it.  Best of luck to you.

Gail :)