I'm in the same situation, my mom has stage 4 ovarian cancer and has fought tough and hard, but isn't expected to see the new year. I am devestated by this. I fully expected another 25-30 years with her, my grandma (her mom) just died two years ago at the age of 94. This is a terrible, terrible disease and it has been the toughest thing I've ever been through.
One thing I've learned is that everyone (my mom, me, brother, etc) responds differently and while I may not always agree with how my mom has chosen to fight this or even live out her last days, it does not take away from what i know to be true -- that she loves me and I love her and we have a lifetime of memories to hold on to. I don't know how I'm going to do this, I have been grieving so hard, but I will take a page from her life, her strength .. and live.
I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. My kids are suffering through a similar situation as they both are away at school and not able to be close to home and their Mom. We recently told them that her cancer was back, that it was spreading rapidly and that she has decided not to continue with any more chemo treatments. We made sure all of their teachers, advisers, teammates, etc. were aware of the situation and they are doing fine with the help of those folks. My recommendation to you would be to make sure you have someone, an outlet to share your feelings, frustrations, etc. as this is the best way to help you keep your sanity and feet under you. Trust in the hospice nurses as hospice is a calling and they are special men and women who work there. I will pray the same for your Mom that I pray for my wife, that the Lord watch over them and allow them to keep their dignity and grace until they take their last breaths.
Larry
Thank you. I hope everything works out for the best for you. Marie
Thank you both so much for your kind words. I appreciate you both replying so fast that was very nice of you both.
I am definatally going very soon to see her and I have already spoken to my teachers and they are very understanding. I am very scared but mostly for her because I don't want her to suffer anymore, yet I don't have the courage to ask god to take her yet.
Ireneo I am very sorry you lost your dad and I'm glad you were able to be there for him, you are a wonderful person to be there for your dad in moments like that.Thank you very much for your advice.
Marie I just first of all want to thank you also for your kind words and want to say that I am so so sorry to hear that you also have ovarian cancer. I know it must not be easy what your going through, although I have seen my mom go trough this nobody except the person going through it can know the exact feeling, but what I want to say is please don't give up, you seem like such a strong woman.Remember god is with you and he will help you through this.I will keep you in my prayers and I wish you the best, I really do. I am also sure your mom is also watching over you.
In her own way your Mom is trying to give you a gift: better memories of better times you two have had. She doesn't want you to remember her last months and days because it may be painful. I understand what she's doing.
But I also understand your fears and worries. I was with my Dad during his final weeks and although it was hard to see him fade away, I treasure those times with him. If you can go see her, a long weekend perhaps, it might help you and give you the chance to tell her all the things you want to say.
I am so sorry. I lost my mom to ovca and now I am fighting it myself. I wish your mom had stayed closer to you so that the distance was not an issue. We can't always know exactly when the end will come, but Hospice nurses have alot of experience so they may be able to get you enough warning time so that you can go be with her. I really wish I had magic words to make you fell better. I am sorry, I don't. My mom has been gone well over 20, years and I still miss her badly. Just take care of yourself through this. I never really ate while my mom was sick. Lost 20 pounds. I am sure your mom would want you to be healthy and spend happy time with your kids. My heart goes out to you all. Marie