Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
1500078 tn?1289195540

What to expect

Hi anyone that sees this and has had any experience please help. My mother was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer a year and a half ago, she went through chemo for a little over a year and than decided she couldn't take the chemos anymore. We have always been very close and I Always imagined the day I would loose her she would be very old (she is 47) When she realized that her cancer would only get worse she moved 12 hours away from me thinking she would be helping me by me not having to see her suffer, but she was wrong because I am so scaredof what's to come and it just worries me more. She is now with hospis and her cancer has spread to her liver and all over other places.what hurts me more is the fact that she seems to be in constant pain and even in hospis they are having hard time keeping her pain under control.although I'm not right by her side I am constantly keeping in touch with the nurses there. Anyways, my biggest fear is that she will suddenly go and with no warning, can anybody tell me what I am to expect or what are the signs we will begin to notice how much time she has left, I would be right by her side if it were not for my two small children and myself being in a college program.I sure do miss her and am trying to make plans to go visit her for thanksgiving. I am just so scared because it seems everyday she's going through something new and I don't know whether to rush out there. The nurse had also mentioned something about putting her in a comma so that she wouldn't feel the pain. Help I don't know what to do, I am loosing my mother and best friend.
6 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
703858 tn?1274669802
I'm in the same situation, my mom has stage 4 ovarian cancer and has fought tough and hard, but isn't expected to see the new year.  I am devestated by this.  I fully expected another 25-30 years with her, my grandma (her mom) just died two years ago at the age of 94.  This is a terrible, terrible disease and it has been the toughest thing I've ever been through.  

One thing I've learned is that everyone (my mom, me, brother, etc) responds differently and while I may not always agree with how my mom has chosen to fight this or even live out her last days, it does not take away from what i know to be true -- that she loves me and I love her and we have a lifetime of memories to hold on to.  I don't know how I'm going to do this, I have been grieving so hard, but I will take a page from her life, her strength .. and live.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. My kids are suffering through a similar situation as they both are away at school and not able to be close to home and their Mom. We recently told them that her cancer was back, that it was spreading rapidly and that she has decided not to continue with any more chemo treatments. We made sure all of their teachers, advisers, teammates, etc. were aware of the situation and they are doing fine with the help of those folks. My recommendation to you would be to make sure you have someone, an outlet to share your feelings, frustrations, etc. as this is the best way to help you keep your sanity and feet under you. Trust in the hospice nurses as hospice is a calling and they are special men and women who work there. I will pray the same for your Mom that I pray for my wife, that the Lord watch over them and allow them to keep their dignity and grace until they take their last breaths.

Larry
Helpful - 0
408448 tn?1286883821
Thank you.  I hope everything works out for the best for you.  Marie
Helpful - 0
1500078 tn?1289195540
Thank you both so much for your kind words. I appreciate you both replying so fast that was very nice of you both.
I am definatally going very soon to see her and I have already spoken to my teachers and they are very understanding. I am very scared but mostly for her because I don't want her to suffer anymore, yet I don't have the courage to ask god to take her yet.
Ireneo I am very sorry you lost your dad and I'm glad you were able to be there for him, you are a wonderful person to be there for your dad in moments like that.Thank you very much for your advice.
Marie I just first of all want to thank you also for your kind words and want to say that I am so so sorry to hear that you also have ovarian cancer. I know it must not be easy what your going through, although I have seen my mom go trough this nobody except the person going through it can know the exact feeling, but what I want to say is please don't give up, you seem like such a strong woman.Remember god is with you and he will help you through this.I will keep you in my prayers and I wish you the best, I really do. I am also sure your mom is also watching over you.

Helpful - 0
187666 tn?1331173345
In her own way your Mom is trying to give you a gift: better memories of better times you two have had. She doesn't want you to remember her last months and days because it may be painful. I understand what she's doing.

But I also understand your fears and worries. I was with my Dad during his final weeks and although it was hard to see him fade away, I treasure those times with him. If you can go see her, a long weekend perhaps, it might help you and give you the chance to tell her all the things you want to say.
Helpful - 0
408448 tn?1286883821
I am so sorry.  I lost my mom to ovca and now I am fighting it myself.  I wish your mom had stayed closer to you so that the distance was not an issue.  We can't always know exactly when the end will come, but Hospice nurses have alot of experience so they may be able to get you enough warning time so that you can go be with her.  I really wish I had magic words to make you fell better.  I am sorry, I don't.  My mom has been gone well over 20, years and I still miss her badly.  Just take care of yourself through this.  I never really ate while my mom was sick.  Lost 20 pounds.  I am sure your mom would want you to be healthy and spend happy time with your kids.  My heart goes out to you all.  Marie
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Ovarian Cancer Community

Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Learn how to spot the warning signs of this “silent killer.”
Diet and digestion have more to do with cancer prevention than you may realize
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.