i guess i was being unreasonable...

[dustinsmom2004]

Yesterday, I went outside and sat on a chair with Dustin after reading my hubby's post, and was beyond irritated anyway. I have new neighbors, and thought it was time they met my son who can be pretty noisy when he has a melt down. Anyway I am sitting there listening to these women who have more kids than I do explain why they can not have children anymore, and how happy they are to this fact. I love kids and just could not relate. If I could I would watch all of the kids around here. I guess I got a little catty and told them not to hang their hats to the fact if they still have a uterus and ovaries. I am lucky to have the family I have and dont understand why someone would not be happy with what they have. When I worked at the school I was everyones best friend from students to staff, my kids mean more to me than anything else. Anyway... things are a roller coaster around here. I am on the avistan but can not remember what the other med is...I never realized that chemo brain can make you quite that forgetful not to mention rude to those living on either side of you. Most of the time I try to remain reflective and meditative.

[momofsandj]

Everyone has their own private hell --- you are entitled to feel bad, but also remember to love your husband -- he obviously really is devoted to you -- mine annoys me too sometimes but he means well -- and forget the neighbors -- i've had some of the same also and have felt resentful even though I'm too old and tired to want more kids --- just hang in there and be strong for you and your family -- we're all here with you in case you couldn't tell by all the "where's dustinmom" posts....

[onniebay]

I understand how you feel  When I was going through chemo and heard other people complaining, all I could think was I wish I had their problems.  

[gma718]

Your husband is going through his own feelings right now as well as you...He truly displayed his love for you...You have every right to feel whatever you want to feel..You have been on this ride long enough! Sometimes people just dont think before they talk..I am sure it wasnt malicious and right now you are going through such turmoil that any thing can set you off..take it easy and be well and focus on your health and your family..Gia :)

[dian07]

Hey there guys.....feelings are feelings......for years and years I have told my kids, and now my grandchildren, your feelings are your feelings.....they aren't right or wrong......they aren't good or bad.....they are simply your feelings.  What you do with them is what matters......there are times where people need to be reminded about compassion and understanding ..... sometimes we have to be vocal to accomplish that.....it's not always okay to just keep your mouth shut.
I used to get annoyed by women who stayed forever in the bathroom at a public place......didn't take me long to realize what could be going on behind that door just after I started chemo!  I am much more patient waiting behind anyone anywhere and for any reason.....
Anyway.....if your neighbors are real friends they will understand and let it go.
So far as your husband goes.......seems to me he is trying to get us to see you the way he does......clearly he admires your courage and silent strengths.....if my husband took the time to come here and let you guys know how tough I was being ....well; his compassion and love for you melted me.  We love you.....
You are in my heart.
Peace.
dian

[Sherrygail]

In June we were in Branson, Mo, with some friends. While walking to a show from this huge parking lot, one of the guys made the comment that 70% of the people with handicap parking stickers did not need them and were taking up all the good places.  Boy did that hit me wrong.................I immediately told him that he did not know what he was talking about and that just because someone doesn't look ill, doesn't mean he or she is well.  He never mentioned another parking sticker the rest of the trip.  I guess I shouldn't have come unglued, but you really can't tell how someone feels.  People need to be more sensitive.  I think you were very much 'in line' with your neighbors. I do feel myself as feeling a little more entitlement sometime since having cancer.  After all, others can make long range plans and it is hard for us.      Sherry

[marleerose]

Could not agree more with Sharon B. Your feelings are yours, and you have every right to express them!! It is up to the other person as to how they interpret! So be it!!!!

[SimplyStar]

One of the hardest things a woman must face in this disease is that part that makes her feel she is less a woman because she has lost the ability to have  children.  If you can learn to accept that, it helps, move on past that and enjoy what you do have.  You are no less a woman now,  actually you are much more than that.  Go back to your neighbors and do not look for pity, look for friendship, based on who you are and what you have.

[bohan54]

You are entitled to your feelings and to express them.  Your neighbors will get over it...  Hang onto your hat while riding the coaster!
Sharon B