I saw a lady die after we gave cpr, how do you stop thinking about it?

[loz6043]

ok im a lifeguard at my local pool, have been doing the job for around 6 months now. I have been off work for the last week as i dislocated my shoulder pulling a kid out of the pool (the kid was fine btw). Anyway i went into work yesterday to give in some paperwork, when i got there i saw there was an incident on poolside so i went to see what was going on. There was a woman sitting on the side of the pool struggling to breath, she collapsed and stopped breathing also her heart stopped. We immediately gave cpr (hurt like a ***** because i had to take my arm out of the sling to do it) and carried on doing that for 15 Min's until the ambulance arrived, they asked us to continue doing cpr so they could be free to move around and get drugs into her and stuff. In total we gave cpr for an hour and 10Min's until the pronounced her dead.

The paramedics said that we did everything right and there was nothing else that could have been done for her.

I've never seen a dead person before and i can't get that sight out of my head, she was so lifeless and empty, we're not aloud to talk about it at work or with anyone. I'm worried that it will turn into something more.

Is there anything i can do to stop this?

[suze379]

Yesterday I was driving past my local shop and butcher and saw the butcher doing CPR on a lifeless body. I stopped and went over and eventually took over the CPR. As I was pumping his chest, I looked at his face and his eyes were open. His mouth was all floppy and his lips and nose were blue. His chest was like rubber. Everything is still so vivid. All up he was worked on for an hour plus. He died there in the street. I knew he wasn't going to make it when i saw his eyes but like what was mentioned in a previous comment, I wasn't going to presume anything. You can't just leave someone on the footpath and pronounce them dead yourself. I don'thave any guilt, but I certainly have the images and it's not pretty.

[tinapops]

im in the same boat as ye but it happened 5days ago feel very down about it all,the man died the following day i know we done our best  but was a very traumatic experience,he  commited suicide by drowning we got to him quick but he still died we preformed cpr for about half an hour

[loz6043]

thankyou for your comments margypops, iv tryed your suggestion of thinking about it for a certain amount of time then putting it out of my head, it works. i still find it hard every now and them but not as often as before and i realise i did everything i could have to help her.

Groovythekat i really hope you realise that you did everything you could have and dont feel bad for the news stuff, they did the same to me saying that 'i went above and beyond the call of duty' even though i just did what i was supposed to do. i guess people just like to think stuff like that.

let me no how you get on xx

[margypops]

If you want to talk to a professional go back to the forums page , look at the forums on the right eare the Doctor/expert forums you may find something there under mental health. Its a real trauma isnt it I have always felt you wait for time to go by ,accept it happened and perhaps get some counselling ..Good luck

[GroovytheKat]

I am a phlebotomist and am required to certify in CPR every 2 years. I never thought I would use it but approx two weeks ago on May 4, 2010 I responded to screams at the pool in our apartment complex. A 9 year old girl had drowned and another woman was performing chest compressions while a man was attempting to breathe for her. I jumped in and the 2 of us performed CPR together until paramedics arrived. We moved her and then I continued to perform CPR alone until we got a pulse and they took her away in the ambulance. When I arrived on the scene the little girl was already completely blue and her eyes were wide open. She was dead. I never thought there was a chance but I did CPR in spite of that because I wasn't going to assume anything. My local news got wind of all of this and did a story and labeled us as heroes. The little girl died 4 days later...her brain never recovered and her family took her off life support. I too cannot get the images out of my head. I have never experienced anything like this and I feel guilty because it was all over the news that I was a hero and now she's dead. I know I did everything I could but I feel that I am going crazy because I can't stop thinking about it. You are not alone...but where do we go for help? Is there a website?

[margypops]

Its hard , I think that you have to realise as they told you you did all you could, and you have a grieving time then accept it happened , once that kicks in healing begins, tell yourself I will think about her for a few mins', I will know I did all I could ', then you have to try not to dwell on it anymore, when you find your thoughts going there tell yourself, all is well she okay now, and distract yourself, get busy , ground yourself. tTs our thoughts that make us feel bad ...good luck