PTSD / Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Community
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My girlfriend who has PTSD, suddenly dumped me

Can someone please help me understand better what happened.
I don't want to sound selfish about my story in any way. I have been in an on/off relationship with a woman who has PTSD.
Something happened in her childhood. She was abused . We have know each other for 6 months and until a week ago, felt so connected to each other.  I never did any research into PTSD. I told her I accepted her no matter what and she accepted me. She goes to therapy until a month ago , because she is finishing nursing school. Her therapy was on Friday and every Friday I would be very nervous . On two occasions after therapy , she said it was not worth continuing the relationship with me. I tried to convince her otherwise and we always were back together. If you saw us together, laughing, sharing, talking .,all the hugging, looking into each others eyes, smiling , you would say no way could some of these things happen. going to church , she would pray to God how grateful we met.
Texting each other with hearts and telling me how handsome I was and how much she missed me. Well , a little over a week ago, we were together and things were going great. We talked about spending more time together. We were in an exclusive relationship. I was holding her and telling how much I liked being next to her. she asked, do you and she started crying. I felt horrible seeing someone I love crying. I tried to hug her. Her arms just hung by her side. She said I I dont find her attractive. I was stunned. She would not let me console her. She went in her house , closed her door and that is last I have seen of her. I texted a few time s and said I was praying for her and thinking of her. I care so much about her and just dont understand everything.  Oh, and about a month ago, we were so close, together 4 out of 7 days and I get a phone call that she has feelings for her ex boyfriend and she wants to give him another chance. In tha middle of us being together.  A week later she texted me, saying she was thinking of me and , the nixt day we went jogging together, hugging, kissing and holding hands like nothing ever happened.
Just confused here in Pennsylvania
5 Responses
675718 tn?1530036633
this happens to me my girlfriend has bipolar disorder so we argue a lot best thing is to let her be she'll comeback when she comes to her senses
Avatar universal
Thank you so much for your feedback.
It is like dealing with ditfferent personalities
Avatar universal
It seems to me your g/f may have a mood disorder as well as PTSD. This is something you will see probably for the rest of her life. Sometimes something special you say and do can trigger this type of behavior. Wish I could say talking to her about it may help but I really don't know if she would be open about it. Perhaps you can go to her counselling session and see if this will give you both a better idea of each other. Keep in touch and hope this helps!
1616953 tn?1443839111
I don't want to sour this but if she said she had feelings for an old boyfriend and was crying it might be a breakup.  But I'm not there and I might be reading things that aren't that simple.  Clearly she has feelings for you or there would be no crying over it (Assuming thats what this is)

I had therapy with a lady who told me she got dumped and she went kooky following him to see if he was with her etc.  She said it was all pretty senseless.  Because what did it accomplish?  

Hope things go better for you soon,.
Avatar universal
I am sorry for what you are going through, and I hope I can shed some light on how PTSD can affect relationships. I went through something similar, so I may be able to give you some information on her perspective. I had this boyfriend, who was pretty much all that I could ever ask for. He was so sweet and caring; he would have accepted anything about me. I could tell him anything and know that he would still be there to support me. He is the only person I've ever been in love with. Unfortunately, when I was with him, I was also an abuse survivor suffering with severe PTSD. He knew that, and he wanted to help me through it. I just couldn't handle a relationship at that time. Sometimes, everything would be great, and I would know completely and absolutely that he loved me and would never do anything to hurt me. Other times, no matter what he did, I couldn't stand to be touched, couldn't stomach the idea of anyone feeling that way about me. It wasn't his fault; he did everything right, never tried to pressure me into anything, always tried to help me through my pain. Even after I broke up with him, he would take me back whenever I thought I was strong enough to have a real relationship. After a while, though, I couldn't stand to do that to him anymore. I realized that I couldn't be sure when I would be ready to commit, if I ever would. I wanted him to move on with his life and find someone who could treat him with the love and respect that he showed to others. Now, he is with someone else, an amazing girl who deserves him, and even though I miss him, I'm happy that he's in love and that he has his life. I'm not sure what your girlfriend has gone through, but I think that maybe she may struggle with some of the same things that I have. Maybe she goes through those same cycles of feeling the consequences of her past and feeling like she has moved on. I went through that a lot, going back and forth between feeling like a victim and feeling like a survivor. I could be 100% wrong about her, but I think she is still struggling with whatever caused her to have PTSD. I can tell from your post that you care about her, but I think that you should try to move on. It might be the best thing that you could do for yourself.
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675718 tn?1530036633
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