Would this be classed as trauma?

[SillyMooXx]

Would this be classed as trauma?
I have been through a lot of rejection in my life and I am just a 19-year old girl. My 40-year old married half-brother used to have sex with me when I was just 15-years old and because I felt so used and worthless by him I told the police that he raped me. I dropped the charges the following day (my mum was concerned, she told me that he actually DID rape me, she said it was statutory rape) and he was arrested, but I dropped the charges the following day.

I only have one friend and she is my rock. I dropped out of school when I was just 15 years-old because I was getting severely bullied. I never even got to sit my GCSEs and I lost contact with the very few friends that I did have because I developed social anxiety (because of the bullying). Then last year, something completely world-shattering happened! I started getting bullied... by the in-laws of my half-brother (they don't know that he used to have sex with me when I was just 15-years old but they know that we fell out)!

My half-brother's inlaws are of the travelling community so they are not the kind of people anyone would want to get on the wrong side of. They would call me fat and ugly, a ****, a slag, they would call me every name under the sun and these people don't even know me! I did join college last year and I was going to a Catering class but I didn't enjoy it at all! Every day I kept getting flashbacks of the bullying, the horrific things that they said about me, my half-brother having sex with me, etc. Would all that I have been through be classed as trauma because I can barely get tasks done throughout the day because I keep thinking about everything bad that's happened to me.

I know that my half-brother treated me like rubbish but because he was the first man that I slept with I did fall in love with him. I think about him everyday and I love him but I hate what he did to me. How do I cope with all these problems? Will my suffering on this planet ever end? How and when! Just when!

[nightgigjo]

I would certainly recommend seeing a doctor or therapist. It took me ten years to realize I'd been raped by a boyfriend, and I would never have named my reaction to those events "PTSD", but when I went to a counselor for guidance, that is precisely what she diagnosed. To be able to give my troubles a name was one of the most freeing experiences in my life.

I cannot say what your outcome will be, but a professional will be able to see patterns that you cannot.

[drifter0213]

I agree with M.  see a doctor soon ok it sounds like PTSD could still be with you after all those years :)

[MYoungAtHeart]

It would not be right for anyone here to say that you have or have not PTSD.  There are many symptoms of PTSD that also mimic other conditions and that is why a medical doctor or qualified therapist does the testing.

I urge you to make an appointment with your med doc and tell him what you wrote here.  He will then be able to make a diagnosis and the 2 of you can write out and begin a treatment plan together.

Good luck to you

M