Advice on approaching dr about BT pain meds ?

[Melissa_1982]

I'm going in to see my family dr in a little over 6 hours & trying to think of a way to FINALLY get her to agree to give me something for BT pain.  I've been on Fentanyl for so long & I've mentioned it to her before, but she refused it claiming it'll make my nausea worse, which I'd rather suffer with then the pain.  Most days the pain in my back & hips is so severe that I don't even try to move as it usually ends up with me screaming in pain & my 2 daughters crying scared.  I'm 31 weeks pregnant & am in so much pain that I'm PRAYING I'll go into labor really soon & can finally have the decompression surgery done.  I've had HG this entire pregnancy & understand that any meds she prescribes will probably make it worse, but making me suffer is seriously affecting not only me but my kids as well.  It's bad enough she's made me suffer with my depression through the entire pregnancy even though I've reported it's gotten to crazy levels affecting my sleep & resulting in horrible nightmares.  SO bad in fact I started keeping a dream journal to track them in & they are pretty HORRIBLE!  

Any ideas?  I've mentioned it to my OB but he refuses to touch the subject of medication for my back & said I should talk to my family dr about the depression as she's the one that's handled it for years. What's it going to take to get her to see how bad the depression & pain is?  I NEED something for BT pain & need her to listen & finally put me back on my anti-depressants !!! She seems to have no problem prescribing INSANE amounts of OXY'S to my drug addict step-father or my mother who is a HUGE hypochondriac & currently on not only 75mcg Fentanyl every 3 days, but hydro-morphone & percs for busted ribs that happened OVER A YEAR AGO.   Yet I have to BEG her for anything even though I suffer from severe spinal stenosis from L2-S1 as well as severe pain in other regions of my spine & pain/numbness shooting into both my legs/feet from the stenosis.  

PLEASE HELP WITH ANY IDEAS ON GETTING THROUGH TO HER... I'M TERRIFIED OF THE DEPRESSION GETTING ANY WORSE AS IT ALREADY SCARES ME & COMPLETELY TERRIFIED OF THE PAIN GETTING EVEN MORE OUT OF CONTROL.

Melissa

[namnam46]

Honey, I'm so VERY sorry that you have had to endure a life such as that.  NO ONE should EVER have to live through what some of you girls on here have had to live through!!! A Mother is a person that you SHOULD be able to trust and love and that "LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY"!!!! Some people should NEVER be Mother's!!!  I, TRULY, think that you are wanting her love and approval SO MUCH that you keep trying and forgiving.  REMEMBER, I'm NOT a Psychiatrist either.  LOL  BUT, I've seen enough of that to know that's what most people are wanting.  The Mother that they NEVER had!!!!  

I'm so VERY proud of you because you ARE the type of Mother to your Sweet Children that YOU ALWAYS wanted YOUR Mother to be to you!!!  Your Little ones will grow up in the knowledge that they are LOVED and PROTECTED thoughout their ENTIRE lives.  They are SO fortunate to have you as their Mother.  :)

I'm VERY glad that you went to the ER BUT sorry that they couldn't help you because of the patch.  I'm ALSO sure that you are correct about the permanent damage being done to you back when you lifted you Daughter when you weren't supposed to be lifting her.  :{

I'm VERY glad that you have found MH.  We will always be here to give you the support that you can't find anywhere else.  

I'll always be here to TRY to help in any way that I can..............Sherry  :)

[Melissa_1982]

Namnam

TY for replying again & ABSOLUTELY no need to apologize.  Ppl need sleep :-) No need to thank me for refreshing ur memory about the OH situation. I wish I could be more detailed but the story is VERY long & causes a lot of pain & anger. Having the medhelp ladies for help has helped me keep my sanity over the last 2+ months. I just hope I've been help to some of the users in that time as well. lol

I didn't sleep at all again last night & was so exhausted.  I got my oldest to school & then collapsed in a dizzy spell on my couch with my youngest eating a bagel.  I laid there for about an hour with my eyes half closed & resting. The pain has been unbearable all day, so much so that I did end up going into the ER & was told that they can't do anything as I'm already on Fentanyl while pregnant & I need to follow up with my family dr.  I made sure to tell them that the last few days have been so bad that I'm not sleeping, have no desire to eat & if I do I vomit it right back up, same with fluids as well so it's not doing me any good. My mother is completely useless & a very big Hypochondriac.  I called her today to check on her & apparently it's really bad & she's desperate to see the dr but won't go, so now I'm trying to find a drive to my family dr ( it's hers as wel )l for Tuesday, BUT the ride needs to take not only my youngest & I but my mother as well since she claims she can't drive, but I can guarantee she'll do it all weekend long.  

Even after all the bs she's put me through & the worst of it calling her own grand-daughter a liar about being molesting, I'm still trying to help her. Can someone please explain to my why? She's NEVER been a mom to me. Kicked me out @ 14, beat the hell outta me daily until then & again after I moved back in when I was pregnant with my oldest @ 19. that lasted until I was just over 20 & she allowed my 1 brother to beat me & my baby. moved out & only went back when I was having my back surgery done cuz I couldn't be alone with a 2 yr old but instead of being helpful after the surgery she left us in the middle of a store with my 2yr old freaking out & me on strict orders not to lift her. ended up having to which COMPLETELY & quite possibly PERMANENTLY  screwed my back. Then attacked me a month later & broke my nose, a bone in my cheek & damaged my right ear drum in the attack. Great  mom huh?
Sorry it takes me so long to respond sometimes but between the kids, the pregnancy, & the pain my mind is scattered & taking a lot longer to process the typing of the responses without completely atrocious spelling.

TY SO much for reading my rants & for trying to help me...  

Meissa

[Melissa_1982]

TY so much for your post

KittyKat23 - It is EXTREMELY hard to be on bedrest & look after my 2 girls.  I have had to rely on my oldest a lot to help keep her sister occupied & haven't completely honored the bed rest orders just because I have to cook, clean & function as a mom 1st. I'd hate for something to happen to my little man that I'm carrying, but I have to living children that I MUST care for every day & essentially they come 1st... that sounds so bad & depresses me, but it's completely honest.

I had MANY friends around me until I married my husband & I had then become the only one who was married.  I was pregnant with our twins then & RIGHT AFTER losing them became pregnant with my now 2 yr old daughter.  Since I chose to focuz on my kids & husband the friends vanished 1 by 1. I chose to take the last few dollars I had & get what my kids needed instead of partying & relying on family to bail me out.  oldest daughter use to go to my My Do you have any friends that you can call for help with mothers quite often, but on September 29th, 2006 I was out celebrating my 25th birthday & she was visiting my mom. the next day she came home to tell me that her youngest uncle that lived there had molested her. That's the VERY LAST time I have ever gone out. I felt so guilty that she was going through that & I was out partying. Not 1 of my friends understood why I suddenly decided that I couldn't go anywhere.  I cut off all contact with that side of my family as they all sided with the molestor & claimed my child was lying.  I only JUST started letting my mother around my girls again & it's proving to be a lot for me to deal with. She is COMPLETELY unreliable & doesn't like to follow rules.  I only EVER turn to her when it's an absolute last resort as I know how useless she is. So NO I have NO ONE that can help with my kids.
My next OB appointment is Monday BUT he ABSOLUTELY REFUSES to do anything regarding my pain management as it has nothing to do with him.  He has prescribed me T3s for the massive migraines I get that last anywhere from 3 or 4 days to the worst which was  3 1/2 weeks :-( . As for my family DR she's booked solid until February 23rd. My meds will be out on Monday & she's on walkin on Tuesday so trying desperately to stretch it til then.  I've tried keeping track of my pain via a journal, but she always rushes me out & never bothers to look at it or listen. As for the contractions I've been told to only go to the hospital if I'm bleeding during them, my water breaks or I can't breathe through them. I know it's safe for pain meds now, but the dr's here are so useless

TY for keeping us in ur thoughts & prayers.

Melissa

[namnam46]

I'm so sorry that I fell asleep last night and JUST now had time to sit and answer you. Thanks for refreshing me on your situation - the MINUTE I started reading it, I remembered what the circumstances were!!  I can't believe how helpless you must feel with NO support group there to help you. :{  At least you have us!!  Just wish we could be there to help you out with "hands on" help!!

I'm CONCERNED that you haven't been on yet this morning!!  I HOPE that your pain has subsided SOME and you are relaxing a little as I KNOW you weren't sleeping much!!  I HOPE that you will be able to get in to see your Doctor ASAP and be checked over.  HOPEFULLY, your Mother will HELP you and get you in to see your Doctor today IF you can get an appointment!! IF nothing else, get you to the ER to get you some help.

I will be watching for your update...........Sherry

[KittyKat23_78]

Melissa,

I am so worried for you. Your story is heart-breaking! I wish I could help you out with your sweet babies and that you could find some pain relief!! I know what it's like to be in pain and pregnant. I was also on bedrest and it just seems to make the pain worse!! How are you possibly on bedrest and still taking care of your babies? My goodness you are in a tough situation.

Do you have any friends that you can call for help with your children? You shouldn't be toting around car-seats etc....but you already know that. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

When is your next appointment? I would (calmly) keep trying to get in!! Perhaps keep a journal with your pain levels, details of what you are experiencing pain wise, and contractions. Take that with you and show your doctor! You are in your third trimester and it is safe to give you pain medication if you need it!

You are most definately in my prayers. Please keep posting and try to keep your head up! We are here for you.

Mega Hugs!

Kat

[Melissa_1982]

SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR YET ANOTHER LONG POST!!

No need to apologize Sherry.  No he & I haven't been together for quite some time & it's a VERY LONG story.  I did consider bringing him back a few weeks ago when we would have been celebrating our 3 yr wedding anniversary together, but with the way he acted when he walked into my house it didn't last long.

Unfortunately my dr's receptionists REFUSE to put any calls through to her. They say they can take a msg & IF she responds can call back , but rarely does anyone get a response. AND if it has to do with ANY medication they don't even pass the msg along & just tell you to come in.  There is no dr on call through her either.  It's either catch her while she is on walkin or has a free appointment, suffer or go somewhere else. The rule in ALL clinics within a 2 yr dr of me is " WE DO NOT PRESCRIBE NARCOTICS " It's actually posted on their doors & many pharmacies have followed suit & don't carry then at all.

The hospital won't prescribe either since I'm already on Fentanyl through my dr they tell me to follow up with her & WON'T even prescribe something temporary or provide anything while there. They've told me before if I'm not getting the care I think I should be getting to find a new doctor... easier said then done since there are no family practice dr's within 8 hours of me accepting patients I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR 3 YEARS !

I can't imagine how scared my girls are right now & I'm trying so hard to cover it up.  I force a smile & try to work through it, but it's VERY VERY hard the last few days. I know that at least 2 of the 4 times I've been taken in for preterm labor have been related to my medication not working & the stress/withdrawals of it not working effectively.  Thankfully IF it were to happen I'm 31 weeks now so at least the hospital would have to do everything in their power to save him, as the last times were all before I was 24 weeks which is their rule. BUT it also means having to have my 7yr old & 2yr old daughters there with me as I can never find their father when he's needed.  I have NO idea where he stays & I refused to pay for his cell phone, as I can barely survive with the bills I have.

I really don't know what I'm looking for right now.  The hospital refuses to prescribe narcotics unless there is serious injury. My dr is useless & because I can't find a reliable dr I'm forced to suffer.  I almost died after my back surgery & am terrified I'll end up being bullied into another 1 to get some relief now. I've forced through bad days before, but they are getting worse & happening more often.

Really scared
Melissa

[namnam46]

I'm sorry to have to ask this question - but I've forgotten what you said previously - where is your Hubby?  Is he not there to help you?  As I said - I DO apologize that I don't remember what is happening with him.  For some reason, I'm thinking he is working away from home, is that correct?  

I'm VERY concerned about you and can you not call your Doctor and get whoever is "on call" at his office after hours?  They NEED to know that you are having so much pain!!!  IF you need to call an ambulance to take you to the hospital then you NEED to do that!!  You CAN'T jeopardize going into labor at home ALONE with your Sweet Children.  I KNOW they must be TERRIFIED that you are in such pain.  :{

{{{{HUGS}}}}.............Sherry  

[Melissa_1982]

TY both for replying

I didn't get a chance to get in.  My mother was the one that was supposed to take me & my youngest in so 1) I could get her checked as she's NOT well & hasn't been for about a week. 2) I'm really sick & it's affecting the pregnancy cuz I can't eat & now not able to drink anything. 3) I'm in SO much agony & really need help.
Anyway mom calls & says she's on her way & to meet her downstairs. GREAT. get to carry a 2yr old, toddler carseat, umbrella stroller, & diaper bag down to the elevator & then 2 full length hallways when I'm not supposed to lift anything over 10lbs because of my back & threats of preterm labor.  Had been having contractions for a few hrs & was happy my dr would be able to check me. With some struggling & pain I make it downstairs & wait. 15 minutes later she pulls in & turns her truck around so I could load the carseat. I get the door open & the seat strapped in & THEN she decides to tell me that she can't take me, she's not feeling well & is dizzy. LOVELY ! She seems fine to me, but do I dare call her b.s?  I tell her if it's as bad as she's claiming to park the truck & I'll call her an ambulance to get her seen, & get " I'll be fine. I'm going home" I have to then unhook the car seat, grab my daughter, the diaper bag & stroller try to get back inside & upstairs.  In EXCRUCIATING pain at this point, but make it back upstairs. Decided to wait 20 minutes & call my mom to check on her as I assumed she would have called when she got in & my step dad answers the phone. She walked through the door, walked to the couch & went to sleep. Said he'd have her call me around lunch & we'd head down then.....
Lunch comes & goes & no call., so I try calling.... no answer.  Tried every15 minutes ALL afternoon & didn't get an answer. FINALLY gave up calling at 9pm even though the dr was gone at 3.  

My mom & I don't get along at all due to choices she made about defending a family member after I had them arrested for molesting my oldest daughter, but figured I'm pregnant & have her only bio-logical grandkids so whatever. She told me to find another way down to my dr even though she knows I only EVER turn to her if there is no other option.  Dr is booked SOLID til the end of February & not on walk in again until Tuesday. It's over 3 hours each way by bus plus however long I'll have to wait there so it's a FULL day while supposed to be on bedrest. Now get to suffer in the worst pain I've EVER felt in my life all weekend alone with my kids.

As for the BT meds she has refused them at all costs even after being told by her colleagues that I need them & getting reports from the hospital including the anesthesia dr telling her the same.  The anti-depressants I was on before getting pregnant are apparently 1 of the safe 1's for use while pregnant, but she refuses to prescribe them. NO other dr understands why she won't because they are safe & she REFUSES to prescribe them to me until the baby is born. She did this when I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter & I was removed from the NICU when she was 4 days old & told I couldn't come back until I had the prescription in hand because my depression was so bad.  I'm turning to her for help cuz it's REALLY bad now & I'm scared, but she's refusing to help me...... WHAT DO I DO??? I'm scared at how bad the depression is getting as I'm terrified to sleep due to the dreams I'm having nightly & how vivid, violent & horrifying they are. and worried at how unbearable the pain is getting. The hospital WON'T prescribe pain meds to anyone unless it's due to a broken bone or severe injury & I don't want to go in asking & being labeled a drug seeker.

I know that the meds may make me a little more sick, but I'm also the type that when in extreme pain I start vomiting until the pain is dealt with.  I'm not supposed to be under ANY stress as I've already been in labor 4 times & am on permanent bedrest until the day I deliver.  I know none of this is good for baby & know that pain meds while pregnant happens all the time.  I gave birth to my 2nd daughter while on Fentanyl & this baby is going to born while on it as well. I know the after affects, but the pain is so bad I have no other choice.  I've had back surgery once & refused another 1 cuz of my kids, but at this point I'll reconsider doing it if it means that  she'll help address the pain I'm in now.

it's midnight here now & my youngest is still awake. I'm crying I'm in so much pain & don't know what to do.

[namnam46]

I'm assuming that you have ALREADY been to see your Doctor.

How did it go?  I HOPE that she is able to help you with the BT meds!! I KNOW how badly you have been hurting.  I'm so sorry that she hasn't EVER given you the BT meds with the Patches.  It TRULY doesn't make any sense in the way that she thinks about this!!!

I'm NOT POSITIVE about this BUT I think there is a possibility that the meds for Depression MAY be harmful to the Baby.  :{  REMEMBER, I said I'm NOT POSITIVE about this!! Don't be surprised IF she CAN'T start those up BECAUSE of the Baby.  I'm THINKING I read that on this Forum before.  Whether it's just SOME of them OR all of them, I'm NOT sure.

PLEASE let us know what happens today as we are concerned about you......Sherry :)

[geminigirl1963]

You need to sit down with your doctor and as calmly as possible (I know it's hard when you're in pain) explain to her that you're not only worried about your own health phyisically and mentally with the severe pain, nightmares, depression, etc., but you're also very concerned about your baby's health.  Remember, stress on the mother brings stress on the baby - and if you're in constant turmoil with pain and depression, it certainly can't be good for your baby.  Stress to her that you honestly feel that your inadequately controlled pain and depression are a danger for yourself, but also a danger for your unborn child.

Explain to her that you are definitely wanting to get your surgery done after the baby is born so that you won't have to depend on pain medications for the rest of your life, but for now you simply need something to help get you thorugh the next few months.

While it may be true that BT meds may possibly increase your nausea, it may also be true that when you get ADEQUATE pain control, you may find that your nausea actually decreases.  I kow when I'm in more pain, I tend to get very nauseas and when my pain is under better control, I don't get as nauseas.  There are also medications that could help with the nausea if you find that it is a problem.  Of course, you have to be careful about anything you do take because of being pregnant, but I know there are pregnant women all the time that are on pain meds and anti nausea meds, so it can be done.

Best of luck and please let us know how you make out.