Cant take the pain, cant fucntion, going to Pain CLinic today, please advise

[troubleinohio]

please you guys give me strength! as most of you here know Ive been struggling with both a xanax DEPENDANCY (not abused but dependant just the same and got cut off after years being on it ) and a very nasty vicodin habit that I had a almost a year clean from before having a brief relapse about 50 days ago or so. I have chronic pain- very bad back and it has been hurting me awful for along time again (not sure it ever really stopped but lately its been much worse again- perhaps its been the crazy weather aggravating it). Ive been hurting bad again and not getting much sleep at all for at least 2 weeks (both due to pain, and anxiety/panic attacks from tapering off the xanax and fearing what will happen when i finally run out of those completely). Im getting back to the point where Im nearly NON-FUNCTIONING due to lack of sleep and pain. I havent been able to do the household chores, cooking, laundry, etc wtihout significant pain. And now this evening a new big storm system is moving in yet again,and everytime a huge Low pressure comes over, I hurt soooo much worse. I know I'll be crippled by morning again.
Now, in addition to all this, I have an appointment today at 4-- at guess where? the old pain clinic i used to go to when i had insurance.  No, i dont have insurance again, but they did finally agree to see me again as long as I pay %50 of the bill at time of visit and keep my payments up. So Im going there today to see what, if anything they can do for me. I know I cant afford to have another LESI done (the steroid spinal injections) and not sure i would try again anyhow because the last one made me SEVERELY WORSE for days afterwards and once that pain wore off, I didnt notice any real improvement in my baseline pain anyways.   BUT anyhow, Im not sure how to proceed with this visit. If there is anything they might be able to give me that will actually help my pain, but not cause me to relapse? I have no idea if the doctor will try to push narcotics, or if he will prefer other modes of treatment like a strong NSAID or similar... I just dont know what to expect, nor how i will react if he offers me narcotics. I have a short list of what i can and cannot take in that category. I cant take the long acting opiates anyhow (MS contin, Avinza, Oxycontin etc- they make my breathing difficult and shallow plus make me feel zoned out and dizzy).  Percocets are ok but they make me pukey and they dont really help my pain nearly as much as vikes did. Darvocets worked OK and i actually prefered them over percs.  Tyel #3 was pretty worthless as I needed to take like 3 at a time to get any tiny amt of pain relief....so.......im not sure what I'd do...Ive tried NSAIDS like motrin 800 (still take that every single day no matter what),  and in the past have had torodol, Mobic (arthritis med) and a few others i cant think of the name of but they tore my stomach up BAD.
DOes anyone have any advice or suggestions? Im not asking persmission to relapse btw! I just simply need some kind of relief from this pain!! I feel so horrible that I cant go out and play with my little boys everyday! they ask me like 10x a day to go out and play ball with them or Tag, or run around or whathave you, and I just cant do it most days. I hate hate hate this!!!!!!!
Anyhow I will update you guys when i get back home from my appt, but in the meantime, Id appreciate any suggestions or advice you may have for me, particularly if you had good results from a medicine that is not vicodin...
Thanks guys

[Babs1469]

hey if you decide to try Tuck's suggestion of having a loved one dispense them I'm a total supporter of Opana, it doesn't make me sleepy or zoned out and it is great for my breakthrough pain, I just stated this in another post but if you do end up trying it , make sure to drink an entire bottle of water with it to help ease the constipation. Best of luck whatever you decide to do, I'll have you in my prayers.

XO
Babs

[Tuckamore]

How did your appt go? Sorry I didn't get here for very long yesterday.

Because you had a problems with vicodin I am concerned you will have a problem with another narcotic. Have you thought about giving them to a loved (and trusted) one and let them dispense them as needed?

Please let us know how you are doing.

Take Care,
Tuck

[ChronicPain1]

I know how you feel, lately the lack of sleep and stress from pain has been ruining my life.

In terms of your past addiction(you said habit, not sure if you were taking them for pain or what) and not knowing what's causing your pain I'm not sure. I mean there are things like Tramadol, but for an opiate addict this could cause a relapse even though it's considered more "safe".

If you have nerve pain something like Neurontin may be good, or Cymbalta which is prescribed for Fibromyalgia. Have you tried NSAIDS and anti-inflammatories?

If you can let us know what's causing your pain or your symptoms.