Feeling low.

[lunechroniquedouce111]

My partner has always been supportive,loving and compassionate yet lately she seems more concerned about the medications I take than the reason why I take them. She is made of tougher stuff and she is the type to ignore her pain and move on,,no matter what. She herself despises medication and at one time felt she had a minor problem with medication when she had a severe back injury ,so she see's anyone who takes medication daily as an addict. This hurts me deeply. Besides this, I believe because I have suffered daily off and on for a year and a half  due to not having the right medicine for pain or breakthrough pain. As well as the physicians (within my medical plan)  there is a serious shortage in physicians who know how to treat a chronic pain patient ,,besides the fear of  judement or DEA or the the pressure not to prescribe any costly of medications being a deciding factor,,,I am frustrated,deppressed and feeling very alone... Any suggestions?

[JadedSweetheart]

I agree with what everyone said.  Tuck's explanation of the difference between addiction and dependence was excellent.  It is so true and I wish all doctors were requred to have a through knowledge of it as well.  
I hope your partner comes around to understand what you are going through.  Pain is so much harder to deal with without support of those closest to us.

[jamlws]

Tuck gave you some good advice, she is the best.
My husband is one that will ignore his pain also, he has a wisdom tooth bugging him so bad right now to the point it is hard for him to eat but he will ignore it and not go to the dentist. He don't like me being on pain meds but he also don't want me in pain so he understands I have to be on them.
I would sit down with her and tell her that when your not on the  meds you hurt so much and can't do anything and when your on the meds it helps you get thru the day. And alot of the people on this board don't even tell their partners what meds they are on and how many they take, they keep them put up. That seems to help also. I hope you get some better advice then what I have given you and I wish you luck and I hope you get better, Chronic pain is the worse to deal with and it causes depression, Are you on depression pills? Most people that live with pain take them.
Best of luck to you
Jamie

[rafecu]

Hello, i too go thru the same thing with my wife. All i can suggest is let her know that you understand her Concern and ask her to help monitor the meds that you take.  

[Tuckamore]

Hello and Welcome to the Pain Management Forum. I am so very sorry that you are feeling alone and low. You have come to the right place. We can empathize with what you are feeling. Many of us have been in the same or similar situation.

It is sad that your partner does not understand. It seems to me that the ppl that have had issues with addiction or thought they had addiction issues seem less tolerant of those of us that are not addicts, have chronic pain and require opiates to control our pain and in an attempt to obtain some functioning level in our lives.

Your partner may never understand where your condition. I don't necessarily beleive that she was or made of tougher "stuff."  We are all different but has she ever had your pain? I think not. She is just uneducated in the differences between addiction and dependent. There is a huge differance, though it may not seem to be true to outside observers.

You may want to follow this link to a journal entry of mine that has a better explanation of Dependency vs Addiction.
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/138942/Addiction-VS-Dependency

Here is part of the journal entry.
BEGIN:
One of the toughest challenges what we as chronic pain patients encounter is our quest for adequate pain control. There is a huge misunderstanding of the difference between physical dependence on a drug and drug addiction. It is true that many CP suffers, friends, family and unfortunately even the some physicians are fearful that ppl requiring narcotics on a long-term basis will become addicted or addicts. Statistically the number is very low, around 4%. The rare few who do develop a problem with an addiction are often those that have a genetic predisposition to addiction. But as a result of this unfounded fear and "opioid-phobia,"  CP patients are often labeled as “drug seekers” and stigmatized for their use of narcotic medications. Worst of all, our pain frequently remains under-treated or even untreated.

Addiction is a neurobiological disease that has genetic, psychosocial, and environmental factors. It is often characterized by one or more of the following behaviors:

Little or no control over the drug use
Compulsive narcotic use
Continued use of the narcotic regardless of physical, mental and/or social harm
Taking narcotics more frequently or a higher dose than prescribed
Doctor shopping
Ingesting drugs in ways other than directed
Frequent reports of prescriptions being lost or stolen.
A deep craving for the drug
Using multiple pharmacies to fill narcotic prescriptions
END

If you do not have the above list of behaviors you are not an addict. Have you tried to educate your partner? Is it hopeless or you do beleive that she cares enough for you that she will come around? If she will never beleive in your chronic pain and support you than you may have some difficult choices ahead of you regarding your relationship.

We are here for you. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. I will look forward to hearing from you again in the near future. Please feel free to become active in our community. Our members are kind, caring, informational and supportive.

Peace,
~Tuck

[RunningMom]

I'm so very sorry you are not getting the support you need from your partner.  I do know what it is like to live like this.  I get this same reaction from my mother.  I have not told my mother exactly what medications I take, but that I do take different types of them for my severe neck pain.  Yes, my mother does judge me and accuses me of sitting on the couch and not doing anything about it, but take meds.   It's extremely frusterating.  I've done so many injections and treatments it's not even funny.  I can't imagine IF I had to live with her again.  We do talk everyday and she will bring it up several times a week.  

Perhaps it's time not to tell her what medications you take.  My husband does not know exactly what medicines I have.  Although, he does not ask me either.  This is not fair to you to suffer like this.  If I wasn't getting the support and my partner treated me like this, I would actually consider leaving.  I know that is a tough decision, but this stress will make your pain worse.