Aa
Having a break down
I am losing the battle here. I am not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, like I told my PCP went I called them they dont even have to call me back, I don't want to waste anymore of their time, you don't even have to reply to this post. I just need to get stuff off my chest here.
I am crying and in pain, I am doing my best to hide it from my kids but they know what is going on. I am getting weak and all I want to do is sleep and I can't even do that cause of the pain. I called my PCP this morning and told them i am just giving them a update they don't have to call me back i have already wasted enough of their time. I told them about me getting into see the pain dr on the 20th and how my daugthers birthday is this weekend that is why i have tried so hard to eat so i could be strong for her birthday but that isn't happening either. So I will either be in the hospital getting fluids in my body by IV or be in bed on her birthday. My PCP nurse called back and told me to go to the ER to get some help and I told her that isn't a option, I am depressed enough I don't need to go there and get treated like a drug seeker cause we all know that is what they do. She said they can put fluids in my body and give me a few days of pain meds so I can eat. But no way I will go there, they treat people like me like crap and it isn't worth it. I told her I am about to give up cause I can't do this anymore. this pain has messed up my life and now I am living in h*ll. I don't think they totally understand all of this. I only need treatment for 20 days that is it. But they don't care. I told her I will end up in the hosptial before to long cause I will be really sick soon. Thanks for listening. I have to go pull myself together before one of my kids see me like this.
Jamie
I am crying and in pain, I am doing my best to hide it from my kids but they know what is going on. I am getting weak and all I want to do is sleep and I can't even do that cause of the pain. I called my PCP this morning and told them i am just giving them a update they don't have to call me back i have already wasted enough of their time. I told them about me getting into see the pain dr on the 20th and how my daugthers birthday is this weekend that is why i have tried so hard to eat so i could be strong for her birthday but that isn't happening either. So I will either be in the hospital getting fluids in my body by IV or be in bed on her birthday. My PCP nurse called back and told me to go to the ER to get some help and I told her that isn't a option, I am depressed enough I don't need to go there and get treated like a drug seeker cause we all know that is what they do. She said they can put fluids in my body and give me a few days of pain meds so I can eat. But no way I will go there, they treat people like me like crap and it isn't worth it. I told her I am about to give up cause I can't do this anymore. this pain has messed up my life and now I am living in h*ll. I don't think they totally understand all of this. I only need treatment for 20 days that is it. But they don't care. I told her I will end up in the hosptial before to long cause I will be really sick soon. Thanks for listening. I have to go pull myself together before one of my kids see me like this.
Jamie
I'm so happy for you that your going into the ER. We are really worried about you Jamie. One thing I have learned with my condition that I'm my own health advocate. I'm the one who has to make sure I'm taken care of. Even if that means finding a new doctor that will treat me. I stuck it out with horrible care like you are for over a year. I've learned a great deal from it. This has made me a much stronger person. Like you, I'm on the reserved side and I have a difficult time talking to doctors and other people. I would never be able to do this without the help of you guys and your support. I hope you are able to get the care you need at the ER and with this new PCP. I'm so happy that you are going. Take care and please keep us updated.
Hi Jamie. I am new here. I read every day, but I rarely post. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am glad that you are going to the ER and I am praying that they treat you as you should be treated--with respect and kindness.
You have a lot of strength--to keep doing things for your family when you're feeling like this.
R
You have a lot of strength--to keep doing things for your family when you're feeling like this.
R
I know you're feeling like you just can't do it anymore. It's horrible not being able to live your life they way you'd like to. The bottom line is, you're a human being. While you may try to be strong and put on a smile every day, you're still human. If you don't let yourself be one then things will just feel worse. It's ok to cry. It's ok to get frustrated. I know it feels terrible when you know you're just another patient and at of the day, those doctors get to go home and not give a second thought to your pain. You are NOT wasting anyone's time. I don't know you but I want you to know that you're not alone.
That is wonderful!! Oh how I hope they do give you pain relief to last at least until you can get in to a PCP. I'm very glad to hear this!!
YEA!!!!!!
YEA!!!!!!
Im going to the ER tomorrow. The girl I have been talking about, she is the one with the great PCP she came into my husbands 2nd job tonight to talk to him about me and he texted me and said he is taking me tomorow. I dont' know what all was said all he would tell me is she is very worried about me.
Her PCP is on vacatoin all this week and won't be back til Monday so I am thinking to go to the ER try to get some fluids in me and maybe they will give me a few days off pain meds so I won't have to go back there. It just depends on how they treat me. But I also know that if they dont' give me anything for the pain I will end right back into one of the hosptials cause the pain will still be here and I won't be able to eat again. We will see how it goes, the next hosptial is about 35 mins away so that isn't to bad if I have to go back, I just hate to get the bills for it.
My kids ball is over til July 7th, then we will be playing again. My son is going to be in the parade on Sunday but if I get treatment then I should be able to go watch him and watch the fireworks. We went and ordered my daughters birthday cake today and that has really opened my eyes that i need treatment. I just hope they don't want to keep me a few days then I will miss her birthday and my husband has to work on her bday so she won't be happy at all. Plus she wants a $150 ipod for her birthday wow.
I will let you guys know how I am doing tomorrow. I know I will have a very long night again, dry heaving and the bad thing is, it makes my pain so much worse since it is in the face. I willl be fine and no I won't be back talking, I dont have the energy for it. my kids just came in to check on me so I better go.
Thanks alot everyone you guys mean so much to me.
Jamie
Her PCP is on vacatoin all this week and won't be back til Monday so I am thinking to go to the ER try to get some fluids in me and maybe they will give me a few days off pain meds so I won't have to go back there. It just depends on how they treat me. But I also know that if they dont' give me anything for the pain I will end right back into one of the hosptials cause the pain will still be here and I won't be able to eat again. We will see how it goes, the next hosptial is about 35 mins away so that isn't to bad if I have to go back, I just hate to get the bills for it.
My kids ball is over til July 7th, then we will be playing again. My son is going to be in the parade on Sunday but if I get treatment then I should be able to go watch him and watch the fireworks. We went and ordered my daughters birthday cake today and that has really opened my eyes that i need treatment. I just hope they don't want to keep me a few days then I will miss her birthday and my husband has to work on her bday so she won't be happy at all. Plus she wants a $150 ipod for her birthday wow.
I will let you guys know how I am doing tomorrow. I know I will have a very long night again, dry heaving and the bad thing is, it makes my pain so much worse since it is in the face. I willl be fine and no I won't be back talking, I dont have the energy for it. my kids just came in to check on me so I better go.
Thanks alot everyone you guys mean so much to me.
Jamie
There you go, Jamie!!! Sara is right :) You don't have to make a decision at all! Everyone pretty much agrees on the same thing, that we care about you and that you must get some help to start building yourself up.
Jamie, sweetie. PLEASE listen to what everyone is telling you. When you're in horrible pain with no relief in sight, it is so difficult to think. Much less make a good decision. So just do what all of us who care deeply about you are telling you. It's only our deep concern for you that keeps us all posting. So, you don't have to make a decision. Just do what your namnam and all of us are telling you. And no back talk, young lady!!
Sara
Sara
Jamie, you've received a lot of good advice here. I know that when someone is as sick as you are at the moment, it can sometimes be difficult to make a good decision. I'm sure you don't even feel well enough at the moment to go the ER and wait and go through all that.
But you have to. For your kids' sake. Where you're at right now is dangerous. Dehydration is nothing to play around with. And loss of potassium isn't either. I'm pretty sure that's what Karen Carpenter died of. She was anorexic and ended up having a heart attack due to her potassium levels being so low.
If you don't like the taste of Gatorade, try something else. If cold drinks and food make things worse, how about room temperature? When my daughter had her tonsils out, she had serious complications. She couldn't do the usual ice cream, popsicles, etc. She ended up losing a lot of weight for a child and at one point they told me she had to get SOMETHING into her.
We tried making a cup of tea with sugar and milk and letting it cool to room temperature. We also got some pudding. Not the kind in the refrigerated section but the kind that they sell at room temperature. Even if you only swallow a bit. Try sipping or swallowing something every 15 or 20 minutes. If you were close to vomiting, you don't want to overtax your stomach right now ... that will only make things worse if you start vomiting and have the dry heaves.
Orange juice would be good; it's filled with potassium. Mashing up a banana so you only have to swallow it might help, too. The Ensure and Pedialyte are good ideas, too. You could even add some ice cream to the ensure and blend it up for a few more calories.
Please stop worrying about your kids games. Think about it for a minute ... someone else can figure out how to keep score. If you don't address this now, you could very easily be missing more of your kids games, a lot more.
And it's very true that your friend may be able to get you into a doctor before you could get in on your own. I've had that happen a couple of times.
I really hope that you will go to the ER and get something. Never mind what people think. If you're not treated properly, then you deal with that when you're feeling a bit better. No one deserves to be treated badly.
But you have to. For your kids' sake. Where you're at right now is dangerous. Dehydration is nothing to play around with. And loss of potassium isn't either. I'm pretty sure that's what Karen Carpenter died of. She was anorexic and ended up having a heart attack due to her potassium levels being so low.
If you don't like the taste of Gatorade, try something else. If cold drinks and food make things worse, how about room temperature? When my daughter had her tonsils out, she had serious complications. She couldn't do the usual ice cream, popsicles, etc. She ended up losing a lot of weight for a child and at one point they told me she had to get SOMETHING into her.
We tried making a cup of tea with sugar and milk and letting it cool to room temperature. We also got some pudding. Not the kind in the refrigerated section but the kind that they sell at room temperature. Even if you only swallow a bit. Try sipping or swallowing something every 15 or 20 minutes. If you were close to vomiting, you don't want to overtax your stomach right now ... that will only make things worse if you start vomiting and have the dry heaves.
Orange juice would be good; it's filled with potassium. Mashing up a banana so you only have to swallow it might help, too. The Ensure and Pedialyte are good ideas, too. You could even add some ice cream to the ensure and blend it up for a few more calories.
Please stop worrying about your kids games. Think about it for a minute ... someone else can figure out how to keep score. If you don't address this now, you could very easily be missing more of your kids games, a lot more.
And it's very true that your friend may be able to get you into a doctor before you could get in on your own. I've had that happen a couple of times.
I really hope that you will go to the ER and get something. Never mind what people think. If you're not treated properly, then you deal with that when you're feeling a bit better. No one deserves to be treated badly.
Jamie, Your friend MIGHT be able to get you in if you can't. I did that for a friend to my Family Doctor in Tulsa when he wasn't taking ANY new patients but because me Family had been with him for so long he honored that relationship and did what we asked of him.
It's worth a try!!.......Good Luck Sweetheart..(((HUGS!!))) and Love...Sherry
It's worth a try!!.......Good Luck Sweetheart..(((HUGS!!))) and Love...Sherry
I am able to drink thru a straw that is the only way I can drink cause if anything cold touchs my mouth it hurts worse. I did get some Gatorade and drinking it now. I am going to call my local hosptial to find another PCP, my friend that deals with CP she goes to a really good PCP and I might try her out. It just depends on how long it takes me to get into see her. So I am drinking the nasty Gatorade I have never been a fan of it. but I know I could lose my life so I will deal with it. I also got some ensure. I handle icecream right now since I am not on any pain meds the coldness will kill my mouth. Going to go make phone calls now I will let you all know what I find out.
Oh I did call my PCP not for meds, I have not once asked for meds since she told me she can't fill them anymore. I asked if she knew of any other treatment that would work to help the pain, or if she knew of anther PCP that could treat me for 20 days that is all I need 20 days.But the way she is treating me I don't think I want her to give me any names of any drs. They haven't even called back so I guess that is my answer about another PCP. My clothes are to big now, when I put them on this morning I knew something was wrong. We put our trust into these doctors to keep us alive and when something like this happens it is a wake up call.
Tuck I know what you mean about spending money on wasted treatment. When i went to urgent care once I payed my $20 copay and then dr came in and heard my story and then said I was way behond what he can treat and gave me a hug and told me when I pull myself together I can get up and leave and then left the room. SO I spent $20 on a hug, I can get them for free from my kids.
Thanks
Jamie
Oh I did call my PCP not for meds, I have not once asked for meds since she told me she can't fill them anymore. I asked if she knew of any other treatment that would work to help the pain, or if she knew of anther PCP that could treat me for 20 days that is all I need 20 days.But the way she is treating me I don't think I want her to give me any names of any drs. They haven't even called back so I guess that is my answer about another PCP. My clothes are to big now, when I put them on this morning I knew something was wrong. We put our trust into these doctors to keep us alive and when something like this happens it is a wake up call.
Tuck I know what you mean about spending money on wasted treatment. When i went to urgent care once I payed my $20 copay and then dr came in and heard my story and then said I was way behond what he can treat and gave me a hug and told me when I pull myself together I can get up and leave and then left the room. SO I spent $20 on a hug, I can get them for free from my kids.
Thanks
Jamie
Jamie I am in agreement with everyone .You need to go to the ER .You must be dehydrated .I went to the ER with dehydration back in Feb and spent 5 days in the hospital.You can die from dehydration .Please please go .I am very concerned about you .Once you are dehydrated you can't drink enough to get those fluids back .You need to be pumped fluids intravenously.I had to have 9 bags run through me to put the fluids back .Please honey don't wait .You could be putting your life in danger .I hope that you go .We are all worried about you and don't want to see anything happen to you.Take care my dear Melissa
Jamie -
If you don't already have a recommendation, maybe you could also ask the ER docs for the name of a good caring PCP. Tell them you are in need of a one.
Please keep us posted and let us know if you decide to try the high calorie/vitamin drinks...
If you don't already have a recommendation, maybe you could also ask the ER docs for the name of a good caring PCP. Tell them you are in need of a one.
Please keep us posted and let us know if you decide to try the high calorie/vitamin drinks...
Again, Tuck is CORRECT!! You NEED to go TODAY!!
Looking forward to your updates ALSO!!!...Sherry
Looking forward to your updates ALSO!!!...Sherry
Jamie,
You said that today you were going to ER...go! Drink those milk shakes or malts. They will provide you with some nourishment. Don't be martyr, it'll only hurt your kids.
forget the baby food for now. The malts are basically liquid, taste good, can be taken through a straw.
And while you are at it get a different PCP. Why on earth would you pay someone to treat you so badly? I had a few incompetent and uncaring physicians in my lifetime and I look back and wonder why I was so stupid as to tolerate their blunt, untrue and unkind words and judgement. I paid them for that??? Honestly dear, why?
So please start searching for someone that will treat you with dignity and respect. You've heard it here before. Ppl do find good physicians. We just celebrated the news the other day from another member. Those great Docs due exist!!
In the meantime you need some medical intervention. No one is going to come to your house and rescue you. You will not hurt your PCP by torturing yourself. If you truly are (and I beleive you) losing weight quickly, unable to consume anything and in extreme pain go to ER.
I'll look forward to the results of your visit....and the date of your new PCP appointment.
Gentle ((HUGS))
~Tuck
You said that today you were going to ER...go! Drink those milk shakes or malts. They will provide you with some nourishment. Don't be martyr, it'll only hurt your kids.
forget the baby food for now. The malts are basically liquid, taste good, can be taken through a straw.
And while you are at it get a different PCP. Why on earth would you pay someone to treat you so badly? I had a few incompetent and uncaring physicians in my lifetime and I look back and wonder why I was so stupid as to tolerate their blunt, untrue and unkind words and judgement. I paid them for that??? Honestly dear, why?
So please start searching for someone that will treat you with dignity and respect. You've heard it here before. Ppl do find good physicians. We just celebrated the news the other day from another member. Those great Docs due exist!!
In the meantime you need some medical intervention. No one is going to come to your house and rescue you. You will not hurt your PCP by torturing yourself. If you truly are (and I beleive you) losing weight quickly, unable to consume anything and in extreme pain go to ER.
I'll look forward to the results of your visit....and the date of your new PCP appointment.
Gentle ((HUGS))
~Tuck
Yes it is so I'm SOO glad that you are going to go tomorrow.
In my post I was going by what you said in your PM's to me that you were able to get SOME (very little) but SOME things down and that's why I thought of these Gerber foods. ESPECIALLY the Fruit Medley, and the Mango and the Peach Cobbler. (Those are my favorites and might have the most flavor for you.) It's pretty sad when a 63 year old woman knows her Baby Foods isn't it - LOL
Anxious to know what YOUR take is on them!!
Mega (((HUGS!!)))...Sherry
In my post I was going by what you said in your PM's to me that you were able to get SOME (very little) but SOME things down and that's why I thought of these Gerber foods. ESPECIALLY the Fruit Medley, and the Mango and the Peach Cobbler. (Those are my favorites and might have the most flavor for you.) It's pretty sad when a 63 year old woman knows her Baby Foods isn't it - LOL
Anxious to know what YOUR take is on them!!
Mega (((HUGS!!)))...Sherry
You BE CAREFUL!!! This is not a good. (like you didn't know that already!) You really should consider calling your inlaws to take you to the ER! Today!!!
I just weighed myself, I was 155 on Sunday when I had my meds and today I am now 148, that is alot of weight in that short of time.
Jamie
Jamie
Thanks.
I have to go pay some bills today I will stop at the store. I kept getting up last night trying to vomit but you have nothing to vomit it is hard to do. I have lost 4 lbs this week since Monday. I know I need to get to the ER and I will soon. My husband has to work both jobs today and he is off his full time job tomorrow but has his part time one to go to tomorrow night. I always have my inlaws if I get worse. I got up today with a killer headach and it hurts so bad it is hard to move.
Sherry there is no way I could taste my kids food, you are a strong person. My son eats all the non milk stuff and some of it just looks nasty let alone takes nasty. but that is all he has ever known and he loves it so he gets to eat it since he cant have normal icecream.
Thanks
Jamie
I have to go pay some bills today I will stop at the store. I kept getting up last night trying to vomit but you have nothing to vomit it is hard to do. I have lost 4 lbs this week since Monday. I know I need to get to the ER and I will soon. My husband has to work both jobs today and he is off his full time job tomorrow but has his part time one to go to tomorrow night. I always have my inlaws if I get worse. I got up today with a killer headach and it hurts so bad it is hard to move.
Sherry there is no way I could taste my kids food, you are a strong person. My son eats all the non milk stuff and some of it just looks nasty let alone takes nasty. but that is all he has ever known and he loves it so he gets to eat it since he cant have normal icecream.
Thanks
Jamie
Sounds like she is having trouble swallowing since we have all suggested ensure, pedialyte, gatorade, etc... even drinking with straws. Not sure she could handle the baby food if she can't take liquids .The human body can a while without food - but needs liquids to stay hydrated.
Jamie, if you can't get liquids down - you must go to the ER. If you can take liquids, drink the high calorie, vitamin enriched drinks.
My father was very sick with a problem with his pancreas and could not eat. He survived on these drinks for over a month... until he was able to eat again.
Hon, please let us know if you are able to use a straw and swallow fluids.....
Jamie, if you can't get liquids down - you must go to the ER. If you can take liquids, drink the high calorie, vitamin enriched drinks.
My father was very sick with a problem with his pancreas and could not eat. He survived on these drinks for over a month... until he was able to eat again.
Hon, please let us know if you are able to use a straw and swallow fluids.....
I know that this will sound CRAZY BUT - why don't you go to the Store and get some Gerber's #2 cartons of the Fruits that they have. They are smoothe and all you do is swallow them!! They have TREMENDOUS vitamins in them and will help to keep your strength up. I know this because my 9 years old Autistic Granddaughter Whether it is Brushing her teeth, brushing her hair - whatever those things feel like to us it 1,000's of times more sensitive to her. It breaks my heart to have to make her do these things but I HAVE to.
By the way they DON'T taste bad either. I DECIDED when I first had my children that I would NEVER put ANYTHING in their mouths that I didn't taste first. It was on e of the best decisions that I made. EVERYTIME that something didn't taste good to me it ALSO didn't taste good to them. I wasn't about to make them eat something that I wouldn't eat. Most things were fine. The ONLY thing that didn't taste VERY good was the meat that Gerber's offered SOOOO I MIXED the Fruit with the meat and it covered it up and the kids got there Protein. Where there's a will there's a way!!!
I love you Sweetie, and STILL wish you were down here in AZ as you NEVER would have had this PROBLEM!!!.....Sherry
By the way they DON'T taste bad either. I DECIDED when I first had my children that I would NEVER put ANYTHING in their mouths that I didn't taste first. It was on e of the best decisions that I made. EVERYTIME that something didn't taste good to me it ALSO didn't taste good to them. I wasn't about to make them eat something that I wouldn't eat. Most things were fine. The ONLY thing that didn't taste VERY good was the meat that Gerber's offered SOOOO I MIXED the Fruit with the meat and it covered it up and the kids got there Protein. Where there's a will there's a way!!!
I love you Sweetie, and STILL wish you were down here in AZ as you NEVER would have had this PROBLEM!!!.....Sherry
You definitely need something more than water. While water is very good, if you're not able to get anything else into your system, you're more than just dry - you're more than likely low on electrolytes, including a very important one - potassium. TRY and drink some Gatorade or some other type of sports drink. This will help regulate your electrolytes so that hopefully they don't get too depleted. Take it from someone who, a couple of years ago when I was really, seriously sick and couldn't eat or drink more than a few sips of water here and there (and most of the time they didn't stay down) - anyway - take if from one who has been there, done that - you DON"T want your potassium (or other electrolytes) getting too low. When I finally went to the ER that time, I was told outright that if I hadn't come in, there was a 99.5% chance that within the next hour I would have had a MAJOR heart attack and probably died - because I was sooooo dehydrated and my potassium levels were sooooooo low. It took a week in the hospital getting IV potassium before my levels even came up enough that it was safe enough for them to switch me over to the pill form of the potassium. My doctor (not the same one I had at that time - for many reasons, this being one of them) and I both believe that having my potassium get that low for such an exteded period of time, is one major factor in why it's so hard for me to get around now - potassium helps your muscles work and since mine was so horribly low, the basically ended up almost dying, so now they don't work the way they should or did.
So please, like I said, while water is great (and keep drinking as much of it as you can), you need something more. In addition to the Gatorade, give the ensure a try again - I know you had said you had it before so you know it's not the best tasting stuff, but it, also will give you more than just plain water.
I do hope your hubby takes you to the ER Friday (if not before) - let sooner the better.
Best of luck, my friend, and even though it may seem like it right now - remember, you are NOT alone and you ARE very important!!
So please, like I said, while water is great (and keep drinking as much of it as you can), you need something more. In addition to the Gatorade, give the ensure a try again - I know you had said you had it before so you know it's not the best tasting stuff, but it, also will give you more than just plain water.
I do hope your hubby takes you to the ER Friday (if not before) - let sooner the better.
Best of luck, my friend, and even though it may seem like it right now - remember, you are NOT alone and you ARE very important!!
Jamie,
I hope you decide to go to the er. Girl, I'll call my Kansas dr. and see if he knows of anyone in the Ohio are. Where exactly are you in OH so I can ask him. Let me know and I'll call.
I hope you decide to go to the er. Girl, I'll call my Kansas dr. and see if he knows of anyone in the Ohio are. Where exactly are you in OH so I can ask him. Let me know and I'll call.
You poor baby!! I know you didn't want sympathy but that's just too darned bad! Please get to the ER. You need fluids. If you dehydrate too much, you'll get some awful cramps and you don't need that. Can you sip Gatorade or some other electrolyte drink? Give it a try. Would sipping through a straw help or make it worse?
So you get yourself to the ER. You will be no help whatsoever to your beautiful little ones if you don't. I know it's awful. But it will be well worth it when you feel better. Good luck sweetie and Hang in there kiddo!
(((((HUGS)))))
Sara
So you get yourself to the ER. You will be no help whatsoever to your beautiful little ones if you don't. I know it's awful. But it will be well worth it when you feel better. Good luck sweetie and Hang in there kiddo!
(((((HUGS)))))
Sara
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