Welcome to the Pain Mangement Forum. I am glad that you found us.
I have heard similar posts to yours so you are not alone. Do you have a trusted loved one that could hold your meds for you and dispense them on a daily basis? A husband, mother or aunt may be able to assist you.
Could you manage your meds on a weekly basis? If so than a locked container with a family member (with the key) coming once a week to unlock it and give you the weekly allowance may also be a possibility. I feel so bad for chronic pain patients that have true horrid pain but develop an addiction. There are not a lot of choices for them.
Does it matter what type of opiate you take? I have heard that Methadone provides pain relief without the "high" or euphoria of other opiates. Is there one that you can take responsibly?
There is always the option of rehab, getting off all the opiates all together and trying other options for pain control. There is a theory that (in some ppl) opiates actually causes more pain and mess with our pain receptors. There are members of MedHelp that will attest that it has happened to them.
I hope this information and suggestions may be of some help. Others will post with their suggestions. Recognizing you have a problem is the first step towards a solution and I know it can be difficult. I applaud you for your honesty and insight. Please let us know how you are doing. Remember the old saying, "Where there is a will, there is a way." Good luck to you.
I've been going through this for years and have tried all kinds of ways to manage my intake. The problem with asking a family member is that the ones who understand the problem also have the same problem. I feel like I got genetically screwed as far as the addiction issue. My husband does not and would not ever take my meds but will inevitably give in if I beg, which causes all kinds of problems for our relationship. Currently, I am in a holding pattern until I can afford the treatments that will help my condition. My insurance is horrible about approving things such as MRIs, epidurals, and the botox treatments that may help my back spasms and neuropathy. I have arthritis and severe spasms in around my spine due to scoliosis. Also blessed with migraines, RLS, and shooting pains down my legs and burning feet. Oh how I wish I could just explain to the insurance company that they would probably save money by approving the needed tests and treatments, as they would (hopefully) no longer have to spend the money for my pain medications. It's just kind of a catch 22 all around. My hope lies in the possibility that I can find the emotional strength in myself to control the impulses on my own. I am hoping that this forum and the tools on the website will help me to focus each and every day on the end goal. Thanks for the welcome. It means so much. In answer to your question about least addictive meds that I take- I do have MS Contin which offers the least amount of euphoria but I often avoid taking it, in favor of my immediate release opiates, because I hate the side effects. I think that using the MS exclusively may be my only hope for pain relief without addiction. Anyone else have a similar experience?
I think you may be correct that the MS Contin might be your answer. I obtain no euphoria or "high" from my immediate release meds. Oh initially, the first few weeks I got a little fuzzy but nothing more.
I think also one can be a genetically predisposed to substance abuse. And you are right that it does put your husband in a very uncomfortable position if he always gives in to your begging.
You are always welcome on this forum but you may find some additional suggestions on the Substance Abuse Forum. They are a wonderfully supportive and informational community. They can be blunt and to the point and I think that is because they have been there. That statement is not meant to be a cut on them. They have a much better understanding than I do of substance abuse issues and how to deal with them.