Welcome to the Pain Management Forum. I am glad that you found us and took the time to post. I hear your frustration and my heart goes out to you!
Please don't be so hard on yourself. Do you have a diagnosis for your pain? If it makes you feel better you are not on a huge amount of opiates and you don't sound like an addict to me. There is a huge difference between addiction and dependency. All of us Chronic Pain suffers that have been on opiates have a physical dependence.... far from addiction.
Here's a link to information about addiction vs dependency:
All of the medical conditions that you mention are probably not related to your opiate use unless the opiate irritated your stomach lining.
There has been some investigation into the impact of long-term therapy with opioids on male endocrine function. This is from one article I found on the web:
"Dr. Nathaniel Katz reviewed data from his patients showing that in opiate users, total testosterone was half that of nonusers and free testosterone was one third that of nonusers. Older age was also a significant factor leading Dr. Katz to conclude that age-related declines in testosterone may be accelerated in opiate users."
IF this is the case with you then there are supplements that can address this problem. I'd consult a urologist. It can't hurt and you may feel better with some concrete answers.
Depression and anxiety can come from Chronic Pain (CP). When we require opiates to control our pain it too can add to depression and/or anxiety. I encourage you to consult your PCP. A good one will listen to your concerns and help you figure out where to from here. Please don't make any changes in your meds without his approval and monitoring.
There are good pain management therapists that can also help you. Don't be too proud to attend a few sessions. It's helped many of us.
I'll look forward to hearing from you again....you'll do fine with the right medical guidance. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. ... and Please know that you are not alone.