Welcome to the Pain Mangement Forum at MedHelp. I am so sorry to hear that you have chronic pain. The journey is difficult and we can relate. I am glad that you found us and hope that you will remain active in our community.
I think you mean that you have Focal segmental glomerulosclerosis (FSGS). This is a complicated disease condition of the kidney's. There is an older post On MedHelp's Kidney Disease and Disorders Community with a physician's response at this site:
I hope you will find some helpful information there. You may want to join that community also...but please don't leave us.
That helpless feeling comes to us all that experience severe chronic pain. It's part of the challenges that we face every day. Sometimes it makes me angry, other times it's depressing and in time you will learn how to better deal with it. I suggest that you consult a good pain management therapist. They can do wonders to help you in the journey through chronic pain.
Please, please don't feel guilty that you require help from your husband or even other ppl. You must remember that it is not your fault that you have FSGS. Release yourself from the guilt as it will make your chronic pain increase and wear down your spirits.
As mentioned by another poster you are most likely experiencing the stages of grief. There are many stages and you are grieving for your former self. Depression can go hand in hand with chronic pain. Don't feel bad or weak, it's something we all face and must learn to cope with and treat.
I beleive that your pain is not adequately controlled as you admit not taking the pain medications. Please dear find a medication that you can tolerate and take it. I know that if I did not take my pain medication I would not function at all. Sometimes it just takes time for your systems to adjust to them. The feelings of dizziness and queasy will subside after your systems adjust.....or discuss this with your physician and try a different medication. We often have to go through trial and error to find the right meds.
There may be help available for you through country organizations. Someone to come in and help with the housework or other things that you need done may be available to you at little or more likely, no cost. Please check into that possibility.
And as said earlier friends can be worth their weight in gold. I have an aunt that will come when I need her to do windows, mop floors and such. Don't be afraid to ask.
I assume your husband doesn't complain about his extra duties. My husband helps me with many things and never complains. It's called love. If the tables were reversed I would do the same for him as I am sure you would do for your husband. Don't forget the romance. Continue to build your relationship and marriage with your husband. Even with chronic pain try to do the little things as they mean much to them. A love note tucked in his pocket or on the mirror where he shaves says I love you and thank you.
I really do suggest that you see a pain management therapist. They can be so helpful and assist with the adjustment process. My heart goes out to you. Please keep posting and try to be active in our community. We are here for you and understand the challenges that you are facing.