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401095 tn?1351395370

reaction to your pain by those who love you

Dos anyone here notice that it is hard to talk about your pain to anyone who loves you or is it just me?  I have shared my back progression with my parents over the last 22 years...my mom always tends to blame it on something I must have done wrong and my dad just flat gets angry about it..they both love me and are great parents...I often think people who dont have chronic pain have no idea what u mean and i also get the feeling they may think I am crazy or depressed or something...so i dont speak of it often to my kids and recently I told my parents the topic was off limits...My ortho told me that most of it is in people's minds and that you can control pain if u want to!  LOL  to a certain extent maybe but geez...my spine looks like a disaster story and i am missing discs..yep..gone!   2 have fused naturally..a metal plate..discs bulging here and there due to being "squished" out of their rightful place by my vertebrae... and i dont want to complain..nor do i seek meds anymore at all except on rare occasion..I am really coming to the conclusion that I will keep it to myself...and that is not healthy either
28 Responses
401095 tn?1351395370
After posting i just realized...this situation is so similar to narcotic addiction...which i kicked 8 months ago...no one can relate unless they have been there it seems...such a similar circumstance and i never noticed it until now
467070 tn?1224628977
i totally relate to this.  So glad you posted this.
518031 tn?1295578974
the really sad part is... everything u said is so true, and what are we to do.. make the decision to live on meds.. and hopefully can control the addicition part or to live in constent pain
535089 tn?1400677119
So true! Too have quit talking about my pain to my family and others (except all of you)

This is why I love MH so much. I can really vent my feelings with others going thru the samething. I have had Back problems steming back to 1990 when I had my first Back surgery. To this date I have had 5 Back surgerys and have Chronic pain since. My parents seemed to be sympathetic at first but as time wore on, that seemed to change. I know my Mom still cares (dad passed away) about my pain but I know she is tired of hearing it. My children seem oblivious to it. I will share a story:

My youngest Grandaughter is 1 and weighs 38lbs, WOW..Yes, she is big. Well my Son often asks me if I'll watch her and don't get me wrong, I love to watch her but that also means having to pick her up. After my Son returns to get her and I'm hobbling around the room trying to retrieve her things his comment is " Gosh Mom, did you hurt youself" Well, Duh....He should have a clue wouldn't you think?

Anyway, thank you for sharing your story....I'm not lone.

Sincerely, Mollyrae
Avatar universal
i can relate to  u  my ex husband  think    all i want is  pain medcation he knew i had back pain chroinic he saw me every morning when i get out of bed it took me a  while to get up and  yeah  somebody  told me it is  in my mind  that  always think i got pain well that is  true  my back is totally  mess  up and  the pain medcation does  work wonderful for me so i am  going  to take  it  what ever i need  to make  it better for  my back to be relief and i stop  talking to  people  who i love about my pain  they just dont understand and  nothing we can do about it
Avatar universal
  oh one more thing i want to share about my 8 year old  daughter  start to  said to me that  her back is  hurting i think   she heard me said that all the time   so  whoa  i  guess i have to stop  say that  often to her or  people  who i love about  me  complain  of back pain
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