& year old boy with severe behavioral issues.

[Jayzandra]

My 7 year old boy with Tourette's Syndrome who is awaiting and assessment for ADHD has some disturbing behavior problems. He is mean to animals and likes to play with their genitals. He even left a hickey on our puppy's penis once. He licks people and gives himself hickies. Chews up everything, like a dog would.  And he's always smelling everything, including his hands. He constantly has his hands down his pants, front and back.. He urinates on top of the toilet lid, in the trash can, inside toys, on the floor, etc. He says inappropriate things. "Poop in your butt" and "you're a butt" are his favorites and he says it continuously all day every day. He's always in trouble at school for saying mean things to other kids. I was told he told a girl to suck his wiener.

He has always had problems like these, as he gets older they escalate. We have tried talking, ignoring, rewards and punishing. Nothing works. I don't know what to do anymore while we wait to talk to the Pediatric Behavioral Health Professional.
I am paralyzed by fear that my every move just makes things worse, that I'm ruining him.

[specialmom]

With the discussion of animals, I'm sorry I spelled foul fowl (animals on my brain I guess).  ha

But I would imagine that most kids are going to answer you that way and especially at 7.  Rarely can a 7 year old verbalize deep reason behind the knucklehead things they do and often it is quite simple------  impulse control and instant gratification. But why is he going after the genitalia of animals, sucking on a dog's penis and causing a mark????  I honestly do not think in my heart of hearts that this is related to sensory.  Sure, he's not controling his impulses and has some need to chew/ s uck but this behavior is very concerning to me.  i don't think my OT would have an answer for you other than behavior management of never allowing him alone with a pet and to be careful on play dates so that they are in your sight to moniter.  If you want to sustitute s ucking/chewing on appropriate things, you can look into that. That is we do when my son chews on his shirt sleeve or fingers.  

This seems far deeper of a problem.  Maybe he was't molested but he's heard or seen something.  And yes, I tihnk a 13 year old at school could say inappropriate things and he picks up on it.  I'm just wondering what all could happen to a child that we aren't aware of.  You didn't see him s ucking on the dog, did you?  Things happen quick just like that.  And child on child molestation is very common.  Think of the kids he is in contact with.  

I don't know obviously--  for sure---  but just have a hunch.  

He clearly needs lots of supervision though.  good luck

[Jayzandra]

Thank you both. For the first 2years of his life the only other person he was left with was his father, then after that, my mother. I don't see either one of them molesting him, but I guess I could be wrong. His older sibling is a 10 year old girl who doesn't seem to have any issues. Until just recently we lived in a really small town and his school was grade K-8 and was exposed to 13 year olds so I figured he picked up the foul language from school or the bus.
You are correct in your assumption of his saying he doesn't know why he does certain things, more and more, however, he just denies it, even if I catch him red handed.

[specialmom]

Well, sensory disorder or psychological issue, this boy has been exposed somewhere at some time to something.  Telling another child to suck his weiner for a seven year old is a stretch.  Either an older sibling is fowl mouthed around him or an adult or he's been sexualized in some way.  I'd investigate this if it were my child.

[RockRose]

SM,  I really so always like to see your input.  ;D   Interesting.

[RockRose]

Jay,  it seems to me the urinating seems like,  again,  lack of impulse control.  If the thought crosses his mind to pee on something,  he does it.  From your description I don't see a pattern that would indicate a mental health issue with this - for example, some people pee or poop aggressively on something that matters a huge deal to someone else.  Some kids (and adults) hoard their excrememts in a ritualistic way,  or they refuse to pee or poop in a toilet and instead insist on diapers,  for example.  

It sounds to me like he just pees where ever he feels like it at the time - either in the toilet,  or on a random item with no clear pattern.  The lack of ritual to this behavior,  and what sounds like a lack of pattern and forethought,  I just see impulse control.

SpecialMom - I guess I'm not saying SID - which I see as a disorder that causes the child to try to organize stimulation into a meaningful pattern,  meaningful input.  So a child with SID is trying to create a sensory map of the world and organize sensory input that sometimes becomes frustrating because too much is coming in at once and he can't "turn up the volume" on some sensory input and "turn down the volume" on other sensory input.  What I believe I'm reading here with Jay  is a child who seeks to increase stimulation,  (not necessarily organize it) and has no desire to filter any impulses that cross his mind.  

Best wishes,  Jay.  Again,  I'm just guessing here,  but when I look at all the behaviors you list I'm not seeing a bit of preplanning or ritual in any of these behaviors,  and when you ask him "why did you do that",  my guess is he looks blank and shrugs his shoulders because he honestly doesn't know.  He wouldn't have the insight to say well,  when something crosses my mind I just do it without pondering any consequences.

Sorry to be so long winded.  :(

[specialmom]

Again, I think that is psychological.  Has your boy had any trauma?  

[Jayzandra]

Thank you both for your insights, I am definately trying to get him seen by a pshycologist.It's long process involving the school, his neurologist and regular doctor.

Nobody mentioned anything about the urinating on everything.

[specialmom]

My son avoids as well.  And my son seeks.  he's the mixed bag hard to handle sensory kid and every day is different.  Doesn't want his hands wet . . . has to swim for 5 hours.  Doesn't like loud noises but wants music on so he can spin.  Doesn't cuddle but wants direct deep pressure.  Mixed bag (confusing at times).  I get that.  But I would say that the issue regarding animals is not sensory related but psychological.  At this point, I've inserted myself into the lives of many families with kids like mine . . .  :>) and this boys behavior is unusual for a sensory kid.  In my opinion anyway (the girl with a passion for sensory.)  I'd have a psych eval if it were my kid.  

Most kids do play with their genitals from time to time and boys in particular.  That isn't what I'm talking about.  Giving a hickie on the penis of an animal is not typical.  I think something else is going on with this boy.

And remember, a main component of my son's sensory is that he is a sensory seeker.  Nervous system input is impactful for sensory seekers.  I know what that looks like.  I also know the things he avoids as a kid with tactile defensiveness as well.  Mixed bag sensory kids are all over the place.  

But tha tis just my interpretation of this situation.  I feel that sensory integration disorder would be unlikely to explain away some of the things the poster describes.  

[RockRose]

I see what you're saying,  SM,  but I think we're also talking about two sides of the spectrum - in my experience,  children with SID are sensitive to too much stimulation - and seek to avoid stimulation by avoiding loud noises,  bright lights,  strong smells,  rough textures,  etc.   So that's kind of where I see your child,  dealing with trying to lessen sensory overload.

I see Jay's child possibly being on the other end of the spectrum - doing anything he can to increase his sensory input.  Children on that end of the spectrum don't seem to have any limits to what they will do.  For example,  while most boys that age think it's funny to joke about farts and might giggle and make funny fart noises with their armpits or mouths,  a child who is hyposensitive to stimulation might not stop at giggling over made up fart noises and will continue the joke to pooping and then trying to chase other kids around trying to smear the poop on them.  Often there are no "brakes" with these kids when it comes to stimulation and inappropriate behavior.  Other kids know when it's socially acceptable to stop the behaviors.

Of course,  I'm just guessing here,  just seems to fit the pattern.

I don't see him doing anything that doesn't cross the minds of most kids.  Touching animal genitals,  touching their own,  giving hickies to dogs (even dog's genitals,  I would think crosses kid's minds,  and then they dismiss the thought).  Kids with high anxiety levels are extremely upset when these thoughts cross their minds,  kids with normal anxiety/stimulation levels dismiss the thoughts,  and kids with lowered inhibition/greater need for stimulus actually act them out without filtering their behaviors.

Anyway,  somehow he needs a filter where he knows when to stop escalating from a thought to an action,  IMHO.

[specialmom]

Maybe rockrose but frankly, the hickey on an animal's penis, playing with genitals, ect. is not sensory.  That sounds like a child that has been abused.  Or is battling mental health issues.  

I'd take him to a phd, child psychologist as soon as possible.

I have a child with sensory intigration disorder and am less inclined to write some of these things off to that.  

My son does chew to self soothe and some kids with sensory do smell things especially any food items.  Chewing is not uncommon and kids with sensory, adhd, and anxiety do this as an inhibitor of anxiety.  Actually in OT, they do not discourage it and find appropriate ways to do it (with things like rubber T's, beaded necklaces, coffee stirers or straws cut in half also edible items such as licorice, fruit chews or fruit roll ups, even beef jerkey---  several of things are written into the IEP's or 504 plans of kids showing this behavior).  

But tearing it up with teeth like a dog is different.  

I think he needs an evaluation by a psychologist.  good luck

[RockRose]

Hm.   First off,  you're not ruining him.  

It sounds like he has sensory issues, with the excessive smelling and chewing and fingering.  Here is a link about sensory dysfunction in children - you can see there is a spectrum - read through the "hypo"sensitive columns,  meaning children who need more stimulation than others.   Some children are overwhelmed by stimulation that others tolerate easily,  some children seek much more sensory input than others are comfortable with - and that's where it sounds like your son is.

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html

Sounds like he could benefit greatly from an assessment by an occupational therapist.