3 year old hits and bites himself

[mim54]

My 3 year grandson bites and hits himself when his mother disiplines (spanking.)  She has tried timeout etc., and only uses spanking as a last resort.  What can she do?

[lunaradeclaire144]

when you dont want your child to do something, many parents use spanking method to teach the lesson, or make the kid do what he wants. But the messege the kid gets from that is "when they dont do as i like, i have to spank to get my way". the best way to teach your kids is by re-enforcement of the lesson. Guide them, for example, tell them not do whatever it is that they are doing, over and over. If they are old enough explain why, talk to them clear and not too fast for them to understand, make eye contact with the child. Theres no better teaching method than the re-enforcement and repetition of the dicipline.

[graceeh]

Spankings do not work. I work as a nurse for a pediatrician and I get really upset when little children come in the office and I'll see a mother spank a child. Why?  Spankings only work for a second. You have done nothing to teach the child anything, except that hitting is o.k.  If the child is doing something you don't want him to do then remove him from it, or take it away. The child is hitting and biting himself to get her attention. Use a reward chart. He's old enough to understand the reward chart. focus on a behavior you want to change. If he whines a lot tell him you don't like whining. Please stop the spanking.... There are many resources out there to help that offer parenting classes....