6yr old and a 4yr old

[parentof2]

my question involves a great deal of concern
My son is 4 and i just got married to someone that a has a little boy that just turned 6.  with the mental problems the 6yr old has is extensive.  He sees the "doctor" every month on some tuesdays.  But i have just recently found out that a behavior had occurred in my home between my 4yr old and his 6 yr old stepbrother.  My son told his grandma that his stepbrother had held him down and licked his penis and wanted to do it again. I first thought that my stepson got that behavior from something he may have seen somewhere in a magazine or something.  But i have been very attentive to the situation and have slept on it.  My child's grandmother may be taking things way out of context like she sometimes do.  I told my husband to call his mother because my husband's mother has custody of his son.  he did and she told us she would approach it in a way that in nonaccusative. She called me back the next day and said that the 6yr old boy did admit to doing the touching thing in the bathtub and that they BOTH did the same thing to each other.  I feel as though my 4yr old son would have came and told me, but nothing was stated til now.  it could have happened a few months ago and even a year ago.  I don't know what to do about this behavior and if it is totally normal.  I do have to say that when we get my husband's son every other weekend, he claims that i hurt his feelings when i  tell him to go to something that he needs to do.  he also tries to hurt my four year old son in many ways of bending his fingers back and hitting him and biting him and abusing my 4 yr old's toys as in breaking them.   the 6 yr old has problems like add, ocd, add, and so on.  What do i do in this case being as though the 6 yr old has so many problems that seem to be let go.  please help and respond soon
thank you
parent of 2

[margypops]

Sorry no response till now, everyone has snoozed off,  As I see it some of this behavior whilst not nice does happen and as it was a while ago maybe you need to let it go, but be observant and be around with them as much as you can, it is your husband who should tell his 6 yearold that the behavior is inappropiate behavior,it is possible it happened to him as very often this is copied or he saw something bad on the Computer or in an adult magazine, however let your husband deal with it, If he hurts your 4 year old you should tell him that he cannot do that and have a talk with him about it,Dont tell him to do things ,ask him, and try to focus on the positive side of his behavior, praise him when he does something right,its possible he needs some extra attention . How about Dad being involved in Sports and Games and outside activities for both Boys