9 year old soiling pants

[arekgb]

I am at the end of my rope.  My nine year old son poops his pants every day.  This has been going on for over two years now.  We have been to doctors, gastroenterologist, and, counselors.  Nothing has helped!  We have used miralax, stool sofeners, and fiber.  We have made hime set on the toilet several times a day.  We have tryed rewards and punishment.  Nothing has worked.  He has been wearing pullups for over year becasue we can not afford to keep buying underwear.  He pretends nothing is out of the ordindary.  He will not clean himself up until someone smells him and tells him to do so.  Now we are having major issues at school because of this.  His father and I are so frustrated with this and just do not know what else to do.  There has been no trauma or abuse.  We have tryed to just say ok our child poops his pants and that is the way it is and just accept it becasue nothing has worked, but that is not working either.  It is causing our whole family much turmoil.  Please does anyone have any suggestions other than what has been posted.

[peta205]

my 9 year old daughter does all above. has any one worked out any new ideas how to chance this problem, I would love to hear about it, im so over it, its been almost years, message me here or email me
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[arekgb]

Sounds like you are at my house.  I started this post in May of 2010, and my son is about to turn 13.  I haven't posted much lately because like you said I don't want to sound discouraging, but we have not had any change.  The only difference from your son is that he no longer hides his clothes, because it is a known fact in our home and all of our family that he has the problem.  Well everyone but him anyway.  He goes on about his business like nothing is out of the ordinary and every other 13 year poos there pants multiple times a day also.  So he doesn't hide his poo it just falls out on the floor everywhere and room smells completly awful all the time, but this is all invisible to him.  He doesn't feel, it, doesn't see it, doesn't smell it! URRRR!  And yes I have freaked out multiple times, I mean who wouldn't?  We try to just deal with it and not stress but come on really?  abd talk aboout freaking out I won't even say how bad my husband has "freaked out" a time or two (and no he didn't beat him or anything, although i'm sure it's crossed his mind)  He is in counseling as we speak as reccomeded by the school, and I'm all for anything that will help him, but it all just seems like a total waste of time.  He has a younger brother who is 9, and he does not have any of the same problems thank goodness!  I can not even imagine having to deal with two of them, with the bathroom issues as we call it.  I wish that I had something encouraging to say, but I don't and I'm sorry, but feel free to get on here and vent, or send me a privitae message if you want.  
Amanda

[Wornoutmommy]

I'm literally at my wits end, I almost don't want to post this because it might even dishearten others who are in this 'crappy' boat. My son started to do this when he was 5 and went through all the regular psych stuff kids have when there's something like this happening. Nothing really came of any of it, trust me, we did EVERYTHING! Reward charts, help in school, talking to specialists, different specialists, medication, hospitalization, coping strategies, dietary changes, ev-ry-thing. The only diagnosis was encopresis, and we just lived with it. That was over 10 years ago now and he's worse than ever. His habits have encroached on life and I feel like there is no way out for us now, this is it, this is him, it's made him devious and sneaky and a compulsive liar, yet in every other way he's a good kid, well young man now, but he refuses to address the problem, AT ALL. It's a secret, in fact he pretends its not real. He hordes food, sweets etc and eats it like a five year old would, sickening amounts, then he'll hide the wrappers. He could easily put them in the bin and we'd never know but he hides them round his room which he knows we check periodically, to uncover the huge stash of pooped pants, his, his brothers, his dads, and the various clothes he's wiped himself up with, sock, pe kit, his, someone else's, and just hidden round his room. He's 16.
However his younger brother displays similar symptoms, but it's not the same. He constantly has a nugget of poo between his but cheeks, every day, no more no less. He's gone through the psych stuff too, though not to the same extent, and he doesn't need medd, he's not constipated, doesn't have celiac disease,  it's not overflow, it seems to be a choice. He hides his pants but worse he also pulls the poop out and hides it round the house, anywhere, behind his little sisters toys etc. he lies about it alllllll the time, I'm sure he's learned from his brother, he says he doesn't feel it but he does, you can tell from his walk, or if you see him when he hasnt realized you're watching, he pulls it out and hides it and all I ever get is silence or 'I don't know' when asked about it, though after I freaked out today (cut me some slack I'm really at the end of my rope here) he said he did it because it was uncomfortable. He does feel it, he just lies because he thinks that is what you're supposed to say.
His behavior is also like his older brothers, but he's only 10 and I fear for his future.
I have girls too, all normal in the poo department and great kids. My boys are great too in many ways but this literally ruins our lives. Today after more than a decade of this I feel like I cannot go on for one more day. I want a magic wand, or failing that just a week off. Seriously though, things have changed in that time, you know, the Internet, forums like these, I used to think I was alone in this then I learned I was not, but I feel alone again in the fact that I have 2 boys doing it and one isn't even a boy anymore. Is there anyone else out there living this way?

[arekgb]

Ask for a meeting with the school guidance counselor, pricipal, and school nurse.  I met with ours and they have set up a schedule for my son to go to the bathroom.  The teachers will ask him to run an errand or something and he will go to the front office for a timed bathroom break.  It is four times during the school day.  The pull-ups did not work well for us as it seemed he definitly didn't try at all to go to bathroom at all.  He does not wet hisself except occasionally at night.  Our school has been very supportive of this.  Does your child show signs of ADHD other than the soiling?  

[na1976]

Hi i am to a mom with a nine yr old that soils his pants wetting and pooping he says hencant feel when he has to gobor that he has gone . I have had him tested for adhd and the doctor said he was but i havent been able to afford the medicen even with my insurance it is 100 for a month . I just had his school call child service on us yeaterday . I told them we are doing all we can i do the pull ups while he is at school and let him just wear underwear while at home . But things are wosrt at school he as been going so much he soaks his close even with the pull up . I have notice thow when we are out he will tell us he has to go and we can be out at a park all day and as long as we tell him ever hour on the hour to go to the bathroom he doesnt have accidents . So i dont know if it is related to adhd or it is just him not caring to stop doing what he is doing to go to the bathroom. I am feeling all of ur pain and as soon as i have put him on the meds for adhd and if it works i will let everyone know and if anyone else has any other ideas please i am open for any new ideas . Thank u

[angelstorm]

my 9 yr old has lazy bowel due to over streaching of his colon caused by contapation problems over the last 8 years he also has a problem with soiling like so many we have exhausted all channels got too fixated on the fact it affects all involved. And made a big issue with him refusing to acknowledge its happening. yes he does it in school, when we go out and in the home and yes he is bullied by children because of it even his own sister who is 11! how i help my son now reasure him that it isnt going to last forever. support him in the fact that he is in controle and take a step back , let him know im there if he needs me. he is also supported by the school in his rutein reminded occasionally when caught up in activities! by doing his rutein we have devised together he will over come this problem.  this will be a past memory. praise, rutein, patience, undrestanding,support that is all we can do.the rest is up to him.