This is a marital issue. No way, EVER, would I allow a person to treat my child that way. Grabbing, screaming and poking in the forehead . . . um, no way. In a calm moment, you tell him that is OVER. And mean it. That should be a deal breaker. I understand you are probably torn. This is the stuff of movies. But if you take a stand and do not allow someone mistreat them in this way-- they will always remember and appreciate this. Watch the movie "This Boys Life" which is a film adaptation of a real life story of a boy who had a difficult step dad.
would you be willing to leave your husband if he does not stop this behavior with your kids?
First, i think you need to get your son to a therapist to help him learn how to treat people, or i think he'll have big problems in the future. I think you also need to find out through the child therapist how to best handle your son, while he goes through the adjustments of having therapy. I think it will bring you closer. That being said, how the boyfriend treats your son is only going to make your son's problems worse. What the boyfriend is doing is abusive and certainly it is not being a role model, which the boyfriend must tune into. I think if you brought your son to therapy and from that angle dealt with your boyfriend. ie. Therapist could talk to your boyfriend and get through to him that while it is good that he cares enough to try to get the son to treat his mother right, the way he's handling it can be counter productive. You mentioned that the boyfriend in your other post was inattentive, and now that you've talked about your son and the general vibe in the house with your son acting out all the time, i can see that your boyfriend may be trying to get away from it all by obsessing over his hobbies. Can you tell us why you think your son treats you this way? Also, is your son's father in the picture, does he regularly see your son? Was/Is there a problem of aggression with your son's biological father? How many children do you have? The aggression that the boyfriend is showing towards your son is only teaching him it's okay to act that way. You dearly need to have a therapist involved with your son. Don't be afraid , be brave and face the reasons for his actions head on. Remember always, Fortune favors the Brave. Does the boyfriend drink every day? Could his aggression be fueled by alcohol (or drugs).?