Emotions of a 12 year old boy - what is normal here?

[BoyzMom1968]

My 12 year old seems to be going through puberty from all of the signs. He has a 16 year old girl that he feels that he loves. Her family is very close and religious, so she is not wild like some 16 year old girls. A few weeks ago, they had a disagreement and were running outside in about 40 degree weather. When they came inside, the temp was very warm and she had a type of bronchial/asthma attack and almost died. He feels that it's his fault and even if they say they don't blame him, he really feels that her family does. I get mixed vibes so I don't know what to say to him. There were mixed circumstances with her and I keep telling him it was not his fault at all.  His father is Bipolar and has PTSD from being a Marine in the first Gulf War and having an abusive dad himself. My son turns to me with questions about what is normal and what to do, but I have a better view from the female perspective. What do I tell him?

[RockRose]

Boyzmom,  I think it's more likely that her parents are upset about a romantic relationship between their 16 year old daughter and a 12 year old boy,  and less likely that they blame the child for their daughter's asthma attack.

If they are publicly a "couple",  and it's not just the case that he has a secret crush on her and she doesn't return the crush,  I would think her parents would be very upset and would be doing what they could to redirect their daughter to more appropriate relationships.

Best wishes.

[bigT907]

Ok hold on a sec... cause Im not real clear on the question and it's very obvious you are worried and upset as you type...

So first thing to do is have a glass of wine/take a bath and congratulate yourself and getting your son to 12 years old!...  With all the stuff you are dealing with that alone is a major accomplishment.

Now hoping you feel better... next you BREATHE... nice and deep.  What is it your son is asking about ... his father?  or the girl?  What is the actual question?  Is he asking if his feelings are normal?  We can help better if we know what the question is you need to give an answer to...

Just remember we are here for you... and it's ok... if you got him to 12... ehh really unless you drop him out a window.. your not gonna break the boy!  It's ok to laugh a little...