I am married to a woman who had a 2 1/2 year old son from a previous relationship. The bio has never been a part of his life a "hit and run" kinda thing. Our child is now 5 1/2. Our child could care less about being around us. Whenever he goes to his grandparents house he wont even acknowledge our existence, when its time to go home he instantly shuts down and goes into this argumentative state. When someone says "I Love You" his response is never "I love You Too" its always "uh huh" or "ya". He is really mean and says hurtful things to everyone (aunts, uncles, cousins, schoolmates) everything you ask him to do he responds as if it is the end of the world. He shows very little empathy/sympathy towards other people. I honestly feel like he could care less about us. He actually believes he doesn't have to listen to his mom because he's "smarter" than her. He never wants to cuddle, never wants to give hugs. My honest fear is that he genuinely doesn't love us or lacks the ability too. Obviously there are a lot more issues that bring me to this conclusion, but these are the bigger one's. A brief parenting background: We do not spank, our punishments consist of t/o's and losing privileges, we are very structured but use spontaneous outings or movie nights to never fall in a rut. We are very encouraging. He is surrounded by a great family support system. We try to spend a lot of quality one on one time with him, but it usually ends up with him "checking out" he's never been good at playing games, its his way or the highway. We always try to be affectionate, but its seldom returned. So a bit of his background, he is half white half black, he does not know I'm not his bio father, but is starting to question "why am i a different color?". He has nor ever will meet his bio father. He spent his first 2 1/2 years living with his grandparents and they to this day not matter how much we object spoil him rotten e.g. he has 3, count them, 3 power wheels at $350 a pop (ridiculous) So I hope I covered enough to give you an overall view of whats going on. Question is, is there something wrong psychologically? What can we do to make life easier on us so these everyday battles can go away? We are really worried that this will just keep getting worse as he grows older.