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Avatar universal

Is it normal for a 7 year old to want to wear diapers?

I'm going to start off by saying, if you're easily offended please do not read, because I'm going to get very real about MY feelings and this will upset a lot of you.  Don't bash me for the way I feel.

My newly 7 year old daughter likes to wear diapers. I don't let her do it a lot. She has been asking to wear them for about 2 years now (she was potty trained at about 3 and 1/2. I have had these pull up diapers in her closet I got at my baby shower, and she asked one day if she could wear a diaper, so I busted these out.  Well, she was going through them, a lot. I do have to say I'm a nanny and have to several families. She is with me a lot of the time when I'm doing this, so I figured she just wanted to wear them because of all babies/toddlers I nanny. But,  I now have a older potty trained kid I nanny and my daughter still apparently wants to wear diapers. I have boxes of adult diapers in the back of my car I got for free I plan on giving to a friend, this morning my daughter asked if she could go to the car because she left something out there. I stayed in the house unlocked the car and let her go. It was taking a while, so I went to check on her and she had her pants off crouching down. I asked what she was doing and she finally admitted she opened a pack of the adult diapers and put one on. There she was with a huge adult diaper on her, putting her pants back on. Oh,  and she has been recently asking for diapers because she says she wets the bed. But,  I go and check and she hasn't/ doesn't.  It's just a ploy to get to wear them. My question is, is she going to be one of the adults that are into diapers? Does it start this young and doesn't go away? Today was my limit and I asked if she wanted me to tell her friends that she is wearing diapers?  

Here's where it gets "offensive " I personally think, and of course this is just me think diaper wearers are freaks, it absolutely disgusts me to no end. I don't know why I feel this way, but when I learned about such things as a teenager I have always thought diaper wearers were the the epitome of freakdom. And now, I may possibly have one on my hands and it's making me sick. I'm not going to shame her anymore than I already did this morning.  But, I honestly don't know how long I can keep that up either. I don't want to do further damage to my daughter.
2 Responses
Avatar universal
Have you tried talking to her about it. Maybe take her to the doctor and see what they say.
Avatar universal
If you can afford it (your insurance covers it) try talking to a therapist i.e. a psychologist with your daughter. I guess it goes without saying that psychologists who have experience with children are probably the best choice.

In the meantime, or if you can't get professional help, try to find out why she wants diapers. Don't pry too much and reassure her that whatever the answer, you love her and deeply care for her. Make It clear you are aware she probably doesn't wet the bed and that she should feel safe telling you of any other concerns she has.

What you did previously, threatening to shame her, will make her clam up about the diaper wearing. It then becomes a secret that she may or may not pursue in private and that presents a bigger problem and possibly there's little hope of resolving it.

Finally, the therapist isn't there just to coax an answer out of her. They will also try to help you resolve your feelings towards this behavior. In their eyes, it's about giving you both a bit more perspective and hopefully mutual understanding and eventually setting healthy boundaries when it comes to the behavior in question.

The crux of it is, make sure your daughter feels supported and able to talk about difficult topics with you. Avoid shaming, and allow for conversation. Parenting is hard. Good luck.
1 Comments
Let me also mention that the ultimate goal here is to get down to the underlying reasons she wants diapers: is it trauma? Self-soothing behavior, or it makes her feel better when she's stressed?

There is no guarantee the underlying problem makes sense or if it even exists, but again I can't stress enough: at all times make sure your daughter feels safe and able to communicate with you without repercussions.
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