8 year old daughters "private area" problems

[mo127]

I have an 8 year old daughter that has been experimenting in her room and bathroom masterbating with a stuffed animal or in the bathtub.  She feels guilty after doing it and has to tell me that she did it and she's sorry and won't do it again, and a few days later she will tell me it repeated.

She will also see an inappropriate picture in a book or on tv, something simple like a woman with a skirt too short or a top too low, and she will tell me that she was thinking bad thoughts and she felt she needed to tell me.  

She will also have problems in her clothing if her undergarments are in the wrong position or if she sits somewhere the wrong way, and she will tell me that her private area feels strange.  

This seems almost like an obsessive behavior, I get notes and whispers from her about this at least 5 times per day.  Is this normal and how should I respond to this situation?

[sherbear632]

i agree to some degree with the previous respondants but i do wonder why she is feeling guilty about it, has she been repremanded or is there a chance someone is being inappropriate with her

[mo127]

Thanks for your thoughts.  I have expressed to her that these are private things and shouldn't be talked about in public, and she ONLY tells me.  I have talked about this with my husband and we both agree that we want her to have an open relationship with us.  I was sexually abused when I was seven, and I didn't have the kind of relationship with my parents where I thought I could tell them what was going on without getting into trouble, so I hid it for about 10 years.  My biggest fear is that something like that will happen to her and she won't feel that she can tell me, so I have a hard time telling her to keep sexual or private things to herself.  

On the other hand, I haven't really told her that masterbation or things along that line are okay, I just don't know how to handle that or what actually is okay that won't lead to other things.  I once found out that she and my step daughter (10) were playing doctor, and I told them to stop and they were never allowed to do things like that again.  

I appreciate any further comments.  Thank you.

[lori0615]

I agree with RockRose,

Also don't let her think it is wrong. I did the same thing when I was a child told my mom about it but she told me it was bad and I have had issues with that and relshionships since then.

Just tell her these are normal and that it should be kept behind closed doors and we don't need to talk about the private thoughts.

Hope that helps.

[RockRose]

I agree this is odd.  I think she needs to understand that private thoughts and behaviors are fine kept private.  There is no call to keep you informed 24/7 about her thoughts about her genitals or bathroom habits or fantasies.  Have you expressed that with her?  That she's old enough to keep her private thoughts to herself and it's okay to have thoughts she doesn't express - in fact,  that's better than making everything public?