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My 5 year old daughter was touched by 6 year old Male cousin

I left my 5 year old daughter and 2 year old daughter just down the hall to play with their 6 year old Male cousin for about 5 minutes to make a smoothie. Found them all behind a closed door, my 5 year old naked the cousin fully dressed and my 2 year old on the bed. As soon as I opened the door the boy said don't come in and my daughter was quickly getting dressed. She told me she didn't know what was happening and that he asked her to get undressed and she didnt but after he asked a second time she did because she felt pressured because he is older. She said he touched her where she pee's and on her butt. She also said when her sister wanted in he told her not to watch. He told his mom and showed her on a doll that he only touched 1 finger on her butt cheek and that nobody did this or showed him to do it but his brain told him to. His mom is worried and says she feels quilty but says she "knows these things happen with kids" and she would be more worried if he was much older than my daughter. My husband said the same and only scolded her. To add, a few months prior to this my daughter was left with him in a room at grandma and grandpa's while my husband was there and when she came home she told me she played a game but didn't want to tell me what it was, finally I coerced her to tell me and she said the game was to show each other their underwear. She told me none of this has happened before and when they are in his tent that he has not done that before and nobody else has done this to her. I have been reading books to her about her body being private and talking with her since she was 2.5 but recently I had a baby that was in the NICU for 5 weeks and then after discharge was admitted to hospital for 2 weeks so I was away for long periods of time and my husband still needed to work so they were at my husbands parent's house most of the time and his parents some times watched the boy also but by watching the kids I mean they put them in the room to watch whatever they wanted to on you tube behind a closed door for hours. I talked negatively about this to my husband and his parents constantly asking them to monitor the kids and what they watch and to do activities with them instead but to no avail. My husband took both my girls to his parents house last night and let them watch you tube by themselves and walked in on a "very adult scene" he said. I am concerned of what happened to my daughter with her cousin and also how long has she been seeing this content without my knowledge (she says she has never seen it before) and also concerned that I am the only one that sees this all as very disturbing and that it's not just something that kids do..especially hearing when the cousin told my 2 year old not to watch, to me that sounds like he is repeating something that happened to him. Need advice on all of this!
1 Responses
5536886 tn?1455827346
COMMUNITY LEADER
So sorry for all you are dealing with- how is your little one that was in the NICU?  

You are right that it's not ok to place kids in a room with YouTube (or just the Internet in general) unsupervised- they can stumble onto a lot!  It sounds like this has already happened at least once.  You are doing the right thing reading to her about how her body is private.  It's also important to be very calm when you talk to her about these things and never make a "suggestion" of what might have happened.  You can ask her things like "did you feel safe" or "does anything make you feel funny or uncomfortable while you are there".  Those types of questions are better for finding out what really happened and keeping conversations going.  

At this point, I'd recommend talking to her pediatrician and seeing about getting some counseling so she has an outlet to talk about anything - it also may help if your husband is willing, that he go talk to the doctor too and they can help him understand that these things are important to watch for to keep your daughter and her cousin safe.  
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