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Step Parenting a step daughter
I have two beautiful step daughters that I love dearly. They have been wonderful to me since we met, as has their mother. I feel very lucky to have such a caring blended family...I have read and heard of horror stories and my heart goes out to those that have to endure that.
My question is about my older step daughter. She's 11 now (I've been dating her father for almost three years and we were just recently married) and has started to give me little bouts of attitude that I've never seen before. It is only directed at me...like she's holding resentment towards me. These moments are so subtle that sometimes I wonder if it is all in my head. I try to tell my new husband and he insists that I'm overreacting and that "she's just a sweet innocent little girl". I try to explain that she does it when he's not around and that just makes him think that I am even more crazy.
Am I crazy? Is it possible that this is really happening?
My question is about my older step daughter. She's 11 now (I've been dating her father for almost three years and we were just recently married) and has started to give me little bouts of attitude that I've never seen before. It is only directed at me...like she's holding resentment towards me. These moments are so subtle that sometimes I wonder if it is all in my head. I try to tell my new husband and he insists that I'm overreacting and that "she's just a sweet innocent little girl". I try to explain that she does it when he's not around and that just makes him think that I am even more crazy.
Am I crazy? Is it possible that this is really happening?
Part of it could be a test. Before you were the girlfriend now you're the Mom. Will you hold her to any rules? Be like her friends Mom's? What can she get away with? How far can she push? And kids know how to divide and concure. Not saying she's bad or anything just testing the waters. It's her job LOL.
Wouldn't hurt for you and Dad to sit down and draw up some house rules tho. Nip anything in the bud. Plus it will help with the other one before she hits the teen yrs.
Like acceptable language (I allowed s.h.i.t, - h.e.l.l, - d.a.m.n only as I don't really see those as curse words, but no GD, F or anything stronger, I feel kids need to express frustration, but your family may not allow cursing at all).
Dress code (no showing belly, no really high heels, no big hoop earrings, no body piercings, or tattoos).
Curfew (set your own for school nights and in this age of cell phones have them check in)
May sound a bit controlling but it's the sign of the times and they grow up fast and there are a lot of weirdos out there.
Watch their time on the computer!
Wouldn't hurt for you and Dad to sit down and draw up some house rules tho. Nip anything in the bud. Plus it will help with the other one before she hits the teen yrs.
Like acceptable language (I allowed s.h.i.t, - h.e.l.l, - d.a.m.n only as I don't really see those as curse words, but no GD, F or anything stronger, I feel kids need to express frustration, but your family may not allow cursing at all).
Dress code (no showing belly, no really high heels, no big hoop earrings, no body piercings, or tattoos).
Curfew (set your own for school nights and in this age of cell phones have them check in)
May sound a bit controlling but it's the sign of the times and they grow up fast and there are a lot of weirdos out there.
Watch their time on the computer!
I agree... I have a niece that lives with me and she is 11 turning 12 and the little attitude started when she turned 11. Definitely pick your battles and let your hubby know that you are not crazy and to watch out for the attitude, if left unchecked it could lead to a worse one. She most likely likes you, she's just going thru normal "I'm a tween" stage. Good Luck.
All children have a deep need to have their parents together. I am happy that your situation is good--a lot of times it is not.
She is probably (as bird63) said, going through puberty. I remember being that age--the ages of 11-20 are really bad. I wasn't horrible until I was 13, but it crept in around the fifth grade. It is a gradual process--usually.
She probably likes you so relax.
She's just going through the change.
I have two daughters and I cannot stand to think of that day--
I don't know if I can handle all of us having our menses--
Oh the joys ahead.
Take care.
She is probably (as bird63) said, going through puberty. I remember being that age--the ages of 11-20 are really bad. I wasn't horrible until I was 13, but it crept in around the fifth grade. It is a gradual process--usually.
She probably likes you so relax.
She's just going through the change.
I have two daughters and I cannot stand to think of that day--
I don't know if I can handle all of us having our menses--
Oh the joys ahead.
Take care.
Yes it is very possible this is happening and is quite common in children especially girls and she is at the right age. She is probably a sweat innocent little girl who is starting to go through puberty. Is there a reason that she is giving you this attitude or not? Make sure that you pick your battles with both girls as they age. Another words some things are better left ignored. If they get worse when ignored hopefully your husband will then take notice and you won't look so nuts. Just a suggestion
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