Recently my 10 year old sister-in-law came to me and asked me to help her do cheerleading this year. She claimed neither her mother, nor her mother's partner could help her financially to accomplish her goal of cheerleading. Her brother and I decided to help her financially and he jumped through many hoops to help get the cheerleading coach at her school on board to allow her on the team, because she had missed tryouts. After several phone calls between her brother and the school, the school came back and allowed her on the team without trying out as long as she paid for her uniform the following school week, which her brother agreed to do.
When her brother talked to her mother (they have different mothers and we are approximately 17 years her senior) for her bank account information to put in the money for uniforms, she gave it to him and then asked her daughter "why did I just give him my account information?" Her daughter replied that it was for cheerleading...then all hell broke loose. Apparently she had already asked her mother if she could cheer this season but her mother had already said no, due to the fact that both her mother and her mother's partner had just gotten second shift jobs, and could not take her back and forth between practice in the evenings. Additionally they did not have the money. It was all together bad timing and they had told their daughter this, already. So all in all, she went behind their backs, got her extended family on board to help her finance it and then told her mother and partner about it after the fact.
Now that everyone has helped her accomplish cheering, from financially, to getting the school on board, to the tryout fiasco, we all have an emotional and financial investment in her cheerleading, and we now have her on the team and her uniform paid for. However, her mother and partner's reaction to this immediately following the bank conversation was that she could not do it. Her mother's partner, to our knowledge, was really the one who came up with the decision. That was her punishment.
My question to you is, what is the appropriate punishiment for a 10 year old lying? What is the appropriate punishment in this situation? I am not her parent but if I was I would be upset, too. She has gone behind everyone's backs to get what she wants. On the one hand, it seems like rewarding her if we let her do cheerleading. On the other hand, it would be ashame if she didn't do any sports. She has no other activities.
What should she do; cheer or not cheer??? Should I get involved with her parents and let them know how I feel? Should I ask them to reconsider?