Its really tough isnt it trying to do your very best for them and relying on the 'experts' who get things wrong , perhaps you wil have to research it your self,Did you ever through the years figure out what triggered his aggression and crying etc? if he was on any strong Meds could they have made him worse, some of them do have side effects ,there is a lot out there about that.I think a new school would be a good thing, a fresh start . Its no wonder you are overwhelmed., but continue to try figure it for your self .