my child talks TOO MUCH

[tripplebright]

I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper, She has been talking excessivly from the age of 2 till now, but now it's worse!!  In the morning, she Pops up, and starts talking about random things, for example I woke her up this morning and said "Wake up it's time for school"- she popped opened her eyes and said "Mommy did you graduate college?", It begins and ends this way everyday and though I find some things cute and humorous, It stops being cute after about 10 mins of non-stop chatter, and since I know it's going to be like this every day I just get frustrated with it quickly. Most people would just think it's cute, and when she was 2,  it was, people stopped me everywhere because of my "precocious", little girl, who was so well spoken. The thing is she sleeps heavily and well, (and talks in her sleep on occasion), she plays well, by herself for hours at times, and still talks the whole time, which leads me to beleive she may not be ADD. Everyone has always told me she's so smart but she is falling behind in school, she always needs to sit away from other children, she is distracted by, and distracts others, she is Bossy with other children, Which worries me that kids wont want to be her friend, Iv'e already overheard a child say "Oh no She's here".  But the biggest problem Now Is when we run into people, maby someone with a dog, she Talks So Furiously that you can't hear anything else, and she says things like " you wanna come over to our house"  to strangers, and it puts me in awkward situatons all the time, to where I don't want to take her anywhere, cause I don't want to have to talk to all those people, and I couldn't get a word in if I wanted to.    At Home when my husband and I try to talk, she talks over us so badly that we just lose it somtimes and scream "Shut Up"(I hate that, I don't want to get that frustated, and teach her, that it's ok to just lose it and act that way)  when we watch a movie, we usually have to stop it several times, to try, futilely to quiet her, we've learned to use the sub-titles now. she's obnoxiously social, people don't think it's cute anymore and because she's so invasive they just get annoyed with her, :(  
I am so FRUSTRATED with this situation, I LOVE my girl and I know she is sooo special, but if I can't get her to do nothing more than just, * slow down her talking*,   I may go Insane!!  

---I know to some people think this may sound harsh on my part, but keep in mind everyone deals with things differently, and put in the same situation others would most likley feel the same, Her Teachers do!
so please don't post about how Horrible I sound, I already know!!!!

[Braysstepmom]

I am the step mother of a very similar 6 year old boy.  He just got into trouble today on the bus because he won't stop talking!  He says he just has a lot to say!  I've tried time outs, quiet time, listening exercises, but nothing works!!!  I heard another little boy say my son gives him a headache!  His father and I are also guilty of saying shut up and I feel like such a horrible parent when we have to do that!  At least i'm not alone as I thought!  We have even tried TV after dinner to help him relax, but he'll talk as if someone was in the room or watching with him!!!  He constantly has to dominate conversations, and doesn't even pause long enough to listen for an answer to his question! Should I get him checked out??

[tasha46]

I have to say I am a bit relieved to hear I am not the only one with the same concerns.  I have a 6 year old daugher and she is in 1st grade.  She has gotten several yellow cards because she cannot stop talking in class.  Yesterday I was at my wits end because she came home with a red card and thats the worse a child can get.  I find myself saying the word SHUT UP and this word is forbidden in my home.  I really don't know what to do.  I will try anything.  

[specialmom]

jenbear, what do you do for your depression?  By fully treating that you may be better able to deal with the more annoying things your children do.  They all have their particular characteristics that can be annoying but it's our job to help them overcome them while still making them feel accepted and loved for who they are.

So, make sure you are seeing a doctor and doing what you need to do to overcome your own depression which may be making your patience level and ability to cope less.  

How do you help him learn boundaries?  What types of physical outlets does he have that help with his nervous system being better regulated?  

[jenbear55]

I have a ten year old son who was on ritalin and concerta to no avail. I suffer from depression when stressed. And his continuous talking is litrally slowly killing me. Got divorced last year and have to face this on my own - his dad wants nothing to do with him. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. I sometimes wish I was not here any more as the stress it causes me is just so much that I often wonder if life is worth it. I really need some help here as I don't know what to do any more.

[HMMerritt]

I have the same problem with my 4yr old, it also started when he was two.  His constant talking at the pitch of his voice actually triggers migraines for some people, including my husband and myself.  It is disrupting his entire preschool class to the point that his teachers can't even read a story to the class.  ADD & ADHD and more run in both sides of our family, so Im familiar with most of the signs.  He also shows signs of a neurological disease called CMT that is in our family, though there should be relatively no cognitive issues from that disease.  He also has GI issues, which we've addressed up to the point of considering a colonoscopy.  B/C of his age, we are holding off on that for now.  My oldest son had similar issues, but he was more physically hyper than verbally.

What I know that can help are the following:
• make sure there is not a pathological reason causing the behavior first.  If it isn't from a health problem, than address the psychological concerns...but don't assume ADHD from the start.
• consider external stressors, i.e. family fighting, moving, ill family members, etc.
• consistent discipline is very important.
• positive forms of discipline, i.e. sticker charts & rewards work best, threats and punishments often cause more stress and anxiety in a hyperactive child, which causes worse behavior and the 'lesson' is not learned.
• stick with a diet high in vegetables & low in sugar, google 'ADHD Diets' for a more specific explanation.
• avoid Vit B supplements, they can  worsen ADHD symptoms and be aware of the foods high in the B vitamins.
• sign the child up for physical activities and sports, my oldest (8yrs) is in karate and the youngest (4yrs) attends when he is behaving well, but gymnastics has been the best for my youngest.
• set aside a time of day to give the child attention, coloring puzzles games etc...we usually follow with a story and nap time.
• when it comes to tv, allow only educational things...then as an award for good behavior maybe something like Power Rangers (sparingly).
• Baby Einstein, Baby First, Little Einsteins, Blues Clues, Diego, Dora...are all good choices for educational tv.
• We had to avoid Little Bill and Jonny Test and Timmy Turner with our kids.  Little Bill only made the hyperactivity worsen, and the other two encourage lying to your parents, etc.
• We use a lot of lavender, someone mentioned magnesium which is good (careful when dosing a child), theres a Sleepy Time tea for children that is usually carried by health food stores.  Tea tree and menthol products sooth my youngest, but Im not familiar with the science behind that.  
• Binaural Beats helped my oldest A LOT!  We targeted Delta Waves for him, google or search youtube for 'Great Expanse Delta' for an example, must wear headphones.
• I am against using medication for treatment.  I learned to deal with ADD as a child.  It takes effort but is worth having the self control and ability to manage in sociery without drugs.  I started taking medication for ADD only b/c of a severe head injury when I was an adult.  I hate it.  I would suggest behavioral therapy first, if anything.
• consider having their ears and hearing checked.  We did this with my youngest and he was fine, but he has hard ear wax that doesn't drain well and I have to flush them out B/C the wax builds up and forms natural ear plugs.
• consider teaching your child foreign languages.  If they enjoy speaking a lot, use that to an advantage.  Children can pick up a language and correct accent easily before the age of 8yrs.  There are many DVDs or just switch the language on the tv for a show they watch a lot.
• with my youngest, we will only answer his question if he asks once.  Usually he'll ask the same thing over and over without a break until you answer.  So we make him ask once and pause if he wants an answer, otherwise we ask him how many times he asked that question and when he holds up 3 fingers we say we wont answer b/c he didn't ask just once and wait for the answer.
• music helps soothe both my kids, they have their own play lists and can listen in their rooms or in the car.  The songs we choose are not kiddie songs and are tolerable to my husband and me as well.


For the parents:
• EAR PLUGS, EAR PLUGS, EAR PLUGS!  Wax ear plugs work best, also try headphones or earbuds...even if you're not listening to music.  You will still hear your child, but it will be less extreme and easier to deal with.
• If your frustrated enough to say hurtful things to your child, then maybe consider medicating yourself before your child...xanax or klonopin are good choices...this will help you respond and discipline better and more consistantly.  Maybe some people could handle a child talking every second of everyday and asking question after question, but I can't.  So don't feel bad if you are unable to keep your cool, but do something to fix it.

Thats really all that has worked for us.  Playing the quiet game doesn't help.  Making my son form a 'bubble' in his mouth and hold it there or making him hold his tongue with his fingers, are not very helpful for us.  Teaching him sign language kind of helps, but then he just constantly signs, and will sign the same thing over and over...so the real issue is still not being addressed.

Good luck to anyone dealing with this and please post any new ideas, B/C we are still working on this with our youngest.  Thanks

[Lin76]

Some of these kids need attention and a way to vent, express themselves, use up their energy.  Every time I have witnessed a kid following mom with nonstop chatter...it has been when mom is physically in the room but mentally disconnected (such as texting, on the internet, chatting on phone). One mom mentioned the child plays alone for hours at a time. There's a good reason to want to talk to another person nonstop...because if they stop, they may lose you again. Who wants to play alone? Also, kids in schools...not the way it was decades ago. Now, they have taken away physical education in many schools, and recess is at most 15-30 minutes and not every day. They are expected to sit, work, sit some more, no talking, and then go home and have mom continue with homework until dinner/bedtime. So much more pressure on kids nowadays and not much play/talk/burn energy time. Let's do less labeling, and more observing. Drop all gadgets, enjoy your kids...get out and burn energy together :)