Parenting Children (6-12) Community
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Avatar universal

what is wrong with him??

Hi i don`t know if this is the right place to ask but i am desperate.
My son is 12 years old and since last May 2009 he has been complaining he cannot concentrate and has a `fuzzy` head, he looks pale if not a little yellow in the face and he will not eat anything except cereal and pancakes.
He seemed to start puberty when he was 10 and recently his voice has broken, i know it can start early but he seems alone amongst his age group?
We have been to the doctor soooo many times and he has referred us to lots of consultants at the children`s hospital and other than fatty liver disease and a slow digestive system of which i was told nothing can be done they have pretty much written us off as having nothing better to do...
My son cannot even hold a conversation on a bad day (which are becoming more frequent) and even on a good say he tells me it makes his head hurt to listen or talk and i just do not know where to turn, his teacher has rang me several times asking me if i realise how unwell he seems and he has been sent home at least once a week every week since last May.
Last week we went back to the gp and he asked him if he felt sad or depressed, my son told him he is getting depressed at feeling unwell not unwell because he is depressed...
He is hiding in his room at every opportunity, does not want to do anything or go anywhere as he says he feels to unwell.
I have pushed for an appointment with Neurology and that is this weekend but i am not holding out much hope as no one seems to listen.
If anyone has any ideas i would be really grateful, i feel a failure as a parent for leaving him in this state for so long.
Thanks Kerri
7 Responses
535822 tn?1443980380
What I she like at school , has he got friends, what are his grades like is he happy there no problems or bullying ? You say he was sent home was this because he felt unwell ? Has he a TV or PC in his room if he has are you monitoring what he is watching.perhaps encourage him to be in the living room to watch TV  His diet needs looking at at , dont make the pancakes, Cereal is okay , ask him to write down some foods he would like to eat for you to get when you are shopping,Does he take any meds, a supplement of anti oxidents may help VitC and BComplex . It could also be that hormones are kicking in , has he a Dad around to play games with him , do some guy stuff ..
Avatar universal
Hi thanks for your response he is doing well at school which is surprising considering he says he cannot concentrate, he has friends and he tells me the latest on who is horrible to who at school and tells me he is fine-he just wishes he felt better...yes sent home as looked terrible they thought he might pass out on numerous occasions as he goes very pale and cannot speak.
He isn`t watching tv or anything he just draws and writes for hours i practically beg him to watch tv with me but he says he is happy in his room so i go in his room to chat to him and see what he is up to but he says talking makes his head worse.
I make food for him vegetables,chicken etc but he will pick at it and says he just can`t stomach it-if i don`t give him anything else he just won`t eat, the dr said anything better than nothing as he will have no energy at all, he is very stubborn but also very grown up and serious!
I give him vitamins b,c,d,calcium and muti vit on the advice of his gp.
He refuses to play games with his dad or anyone else as he says he feels to unwell.
I do think hormones are having some effect but feel there is something we are missing...
535822 tn?1443980380
Exuse me I think its great a child this age doesnt want to watch TV.. Drawing and writing is wonderful ... wow ..encourage it ,why does it matter anyway if its not what you would expect  its his life ....Okay my feeling is that you are missing the fact he is growing up fast he wants some privacy, he wants to be more independant ..so let him have it, allow him without comment to draw, read, write they are really good skills ... Have you tried board games I do not mean video games I mean good old fashioned  games people play together ... does he like any outside games, basket ball, soccer, base ball ..? wont be long before he's looking at Gals ....then you will be concerned .Your son sounds very clever and a great guy ....
Avatar universal
Thanks for your response of course you are absolutely right i love the fact he likes drawing etc and today we had a Neurology appointment and they said he has Aspergers-no big shock and apparently a fuzzy head is a common complaint, it is probably migraine related but board games are a no no as Aspergers kids don`t like them but at least i now know the reason behind him not feeling well and can help him more.
Still wouldn`t change him for the world!
973741 tn?1342346373
I'm worried about his health.  Does he have any allergies?  Do you think he is having neurological problems?  When I was in the third grade I had an illness that started slowly.  I just didn't feel good.  I lost my appetite and became listless.  I started to lose weight.  I didn't want to do much.  We went through a couple of months of tests . .  .  and our next step was a psychiatrist.  One last test beforehand was an endoscopy.  That doctor found the problem.  I had a pin size wound in my small intenstines (an ulcer).   I drank medicine for 3 days and was completely better.

I tell you this story because when it comes to health------- getting a proper diagnosis for things is essential.  I'd write down all-----------  and I mean any and every-----------  symptom he is having.  Arm yourself for information.  Then you can google phrases from that and see what kind of hits you get.  It can start to add up to something.  You also take all of your details about your son and go see that neurologist.  Be forceful that something is wrong with his health and you need to find out what it is.

It isn't what his activities are that is bothering me --------- it is his complaint list of how he himself is feeling.  He doesn't feel well.  Others are noticing it and it is taking a toll.  

So as his mother------------  get a doctor to listen.  Be that squeaky wheel that gets the grease.  Your son is counting on you!  Good luck and let us know what happens at the neurologist.
Avatar universal
Well you have made me think...he does have a reoccurring tooth abscess we are waiting to have the tooth removed i don`t know if that would cause all the other ailments but i do know no other child with Aspergers seems to be as unwell as mine...i will do as you say and write everything down, ironically i have done that for every specialist but not the Neurologist so thats a good point, thanks your right i maybe got carried away with the diagnosis and didn`t push the fact he is so unwell, his abscess has returned this weekend so he isn`t really talking and now it looks like a stomach bug too!

Kind Regards Kerri
973741 tn?1342346373
Well, I also think he should see a dentist.  He may need antibiotics for a tooth abscess.  Those can actually be quite dangerous.  They can cause an infection and need I tell you how close to the brain they are.  Our dentist does NOT mess around with that.  My kids haven't had any but I did and I was immediately on antibiotics.  So that is something to consider.  

I do think that your son's health needs to be taken seriously----------  there is a reason he is declining.  Your mother's instinct is screaming at you.  I commend you for being so vigilant for your son's health!  
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