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Parenting Teens (12-17) Community
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Avatar universal

Brother-in-law gets all the love and attention from my teen daughter

I am feeling left out in cold when it comes to my 15yo daughter.
In fact, my Brother-in-law seems to get all the love and attention from her.
Our situation is this; the Brother-in-law is living with us and has been for about 3 months now while he looks for work.
Since he has been with us, my daughter and the brother-in-law have had many quiet one on one conversations. They are getting on like a house on fire, nothing wrong with that.
My problem is, prior to him moving, if she was pushing the behaviour boundaries I would naturally try put a stop to the behaviour (be a parent). Naturally, because I put a stop to the behaviour, I was not in her good books for a while but when things are forgotten about I would get all those good things that make parenting worth the bad stuff, like cuddles and time.
However, now she has a so-called big brother to turn to when I'm being the bad cop, I believe the brother in law, and her are talking, which he is taking her side and comforting her morally, he's is even getting cuddles. In return, I am feeling a hatred from her, I don't cuddles anymore and we haven't spoken or spent time for a few months.  
I am feeling very jealous of the bond they share, I want him gone so things can get back to normal but this could be months before he gets back on his feet and moves out.
I really don't know how win her back, especially when I'm need to be the bad cop every now and then.  
2 Responses
13167 tn?1327197724
It's a little concerning that she's spending any real amount of "cuddle time" with her uncle,  IMHO.  This whole dynamic - of you two basically rivaling each other for cuddles with your teenage daughter seems a little "off" to me.
Avatar universal
RED FLAG MOM........your daughter is in a dangerous position. No 14 year old should be cuddling with her Uncle. Get this man out NOW !!! Take control back before its to late. He is already manipulating her. He should be helping to parent her,not encourage her that you are the bad guy. You remember what a little cuddling and attention does? Your daughter doesn't,she will love you for saving her later!!! Do what you know is right, My Mom didn't see the signs ,and it sounds like you do. Get her and you out of this creepy situation. This guy is not thinking with the right head !!!
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13167 tn?1327197724
Austin, TX
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