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How to dertimine whonis being honest.

Recently my 17 year old daughter decieded to live with me her dad. We have a good relationship and we are pretty open and honest. We may get fuzzy on details but best of my knowledge my daughter has never lied.

My x wife is accusing my daughter of fabricating up information and situations so as to get what she wants. Which in this instance is to be with me. I do not consider my x the most open and honest person though generally she doesnt lie directly to me. Its usually more along the lines of significant information is left out or intentionally kept away from me. Even if it involves my daughters well being.

My daughter has never in the 13 years if seperation pitted me against my x wife nor has she called me to come get her either. My daughter has indicated that she is verbally abused by other reltives, relatives houses that my x wife leaves our daughter at,but not much on details. I know the relatives enough to not be surprised if its true but dont want to falsly acuse either. That is why my daughter has finally chosen me so she doesnt have to go back there.

I know the truth is in the middle but right now I am caught up in the middle of her mom saying, more like judging me, and being no help but simply saying she never kicked our daughter out of her house. My daughter saying her mom said on saturday "I do not want you back in my house" and on sunday asking for the house keys back. I want to believe my daughter, mostly due to mistrust i have for the x and her family.

I am trying to not be the fool and do the best for my kid. This choice, forces her to live with my family and her friends till she finishes the school year as I live a distance away and its her senior year. I have to believe if being a vagabound except on weekends and time off from school is a better option things with her mom were not great at all. Just looking for thoughts on things.
1 Responses
973741 tn?1342342773
Hm, you know?  I'd not put yourself in the middle of this drama.  You are the parent she has chosen to stay with.  This is a good thing.  Keep life peaceful for her as it sounds like there is a lot of drama with her mom.  You can tow a party line of "you know, I'm not getting involved in that conversation with you" if the mom tries to keep the fire alive to this fight.  

Now, I am reading that she is actually isn't fully with you and at friends and your family.  That's not ideal.  Any way you can do a job change to be closer or work remotely or Anything else than this current situation so she can live with you?  Like REALLY with you?  Otherwise, I'd do less of her at friends and keep her at a TRUSTED family members.  That she prefers that kind of lifestyle to her mom's is telling.  

Tell your daughter as well that you love her and want to do right by her but that you do not want back and forth of she said this or she said that.  She's chosen to live with you and that's it.  And encourage her to heal and not hold hostility toward her mother.  

What about a counselor for your daughter?  I just worry that this back and forth and family dynamic will have a negative repercussion for her.  

But you are basically taking your own child in on her request.  That's a GOOD thing and that is obviously going to make her mom angry.  Don't let her take it out on you.  good luck
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