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20518055 tn?1499799460

I found out my 14 year old had sex!!

My daughter is 14 will be 15 in 2 months, she has a boyfriend who just turned 16. My daughter asked me a question regarding sex "my friend" kind of question and I know she was asking for her but she swears it was for a friend. Then a week later I found out she had sex with her boyfriend. I dont know how to proceed with this. Do I ground her? Do I tell his parents? My husband is very upset and he dont know what to think about the whole situation. I wish she would have waited. We sat her down and talked to her a little bit but we were so in shock that we couldn't even think let alone have a grown up conversation about it. I need advice on how to calm my husband down, and how to take care of this, please help.
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Avatar universal
Make sure she used contraception. If she did, explain to your husband that it could have gone worse and even though her actions were wrong she was at least mindful to an extent. You also need to look at how close she was with her boyfriend and what was their motive (make sure she wanted to do it, was it out of curiosity or something else?). I'd also recommend discussing this issue with the boy's parents and the boy himself. Good luck with this issue.
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
honestly just let her be and be glad she isnt pregnant
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You probably don't want to hear this, but right now you need to focus first on educating her about protection. She needs to be on the pill and educated about condom usage at all times. You need to be sure she isn't currently fearful that she is pregnant. You also want to be very careful not to over-react. If you do, she will continue to do what she wants and just never talk to you again. To keep your dialog open needs to be the most important thing. After this you can discuss the disadvantages, including being hurt when she becomes attached, and how relationships don't grow interpersonally when sex is involved, because the relationship becomes all about sex and not growing as a couple. Above all else I'd avoid acting angry and instead act appreciative that she has come to you. Being concerned is fine and honest. Yes, she is young, but being sexually active at her age also isn't rare in any way.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
A few years ago I learned my 15 (She's 25 now) year old GrandDaughter who I was raising was having sex with Her BoyFriend.  I was very dismayed also, but while trying to stay calm I took Her to the computer and we looked up the failure rate of ALL birth control methods.  We learned there is not ONE that is 100%.  Then we sat and watched a GRAPHIC video of a Woman delivering a Baby followed by another GRAPHIC video of an abortion being performed.  The, I simply asked    "should Your birth control method fail, which solution would You choose,  delivery ?? or abortion ??  These visual graphics stunned my GrandDaughter.  She chose not to have sex again until She was married.  Today She IS married and is the Mother of my Very First GreatGrandDaughter  (GrandDaughter is now 25, GreatGrandDaughter is one

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