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Parenting Teens (12-17) Community
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What would you do if your teenage girl made things up?

Hello,
I felt like asking this question although this teenage girl is not my daughter. My husband's niece, who's 13 1/2, came up with a story that her uncle ( not my husband, my brother-in-law) touched her breasts and told her he was obsessed with her.
Here's the story. Last week, Chloe insisted in taking a school-mate ( a girl) to the school nurse because she had told her she wasn't feeling well. This girl showed her her arms: she had cut herself on both arms with the pencil sharpener (apparently a new trend among teenagers in France) and told her that her uncle or some male relative had touched her breasts. Next day, Chloe told the school nurse that her uncle had touched her breasts and showed her her armas: she had cut herself too, she claimed that it helped her relax. The school nurse immediately called my sister-in-law, Chloe's mother, telling her something was wrong with her daughter and that the school had begun a child molesting file. At first, Chloe's mother defended her daughter, as any normal mother would do, but refused to file a complaint against Chloe's uncle. She still does believe her, but doubts her at the same time.
So here is my question. What would you do, as a mother/father and as an aunt/uncle? I have known all the family for 6 years now. Chloe is not a bad girl, she can be mean sometimes to her two younger brothers, but I believe she just wants to draw attention on herself. She thought it would be funny to do something just like her friend, I guess. As for Chloe's uncle, he's not the best of humans, he smokes and drinks like any person out there, but knowing him, I do not believe him capable of doing such a thing. For a week now, since the news came, he's been not sleeping, not eating, just walking through the house with no purpose. He keeps asking himself why she invented this whole story, he asked us many times if he's a monster, he schedulded an appointment with a psychologist. In short, he's shocked and so are we, we weren't expecting such a thing.
Need some advice, looking forward to your ideas.
1 Responses
134578 tn?1602101550
"He asks why she invented the story," that is a reaction an innocent man might possibly have, though I would think it would not be the first thing an innocent man would say.  (His first reaction would be, "What the hell are you talking about?"  He'd be astonished, not doing analysis.)   He asks you "many times if he is a monster," that does not sound like the natural reaction of an innocent man.  Saying "I'm angry that she made this up!" would be normal for an innocent man, saying "Am I a monster?" makes him sound more like a guilty man.

You're going to have to let the investigation proceed apace.  There isn't anything you can do, besides be there for all of them.  I don't tend to think the girl made up the story merely to copy her friend.
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