Parenting Teens (12-17) Community
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dating questions...

hi, im a 17 year old girl who is currently a senior in high school. i've never been in a relationship, so i am asking for parent opinions on this situation. I met this guy at a volunteer place 2 times, we've talked for about 3 hours, if we combine the two times that we've met. So this guy asks me for my number and doesn't really text me, until about a week ago. So we're talking a lot, and eventuallly he tells me that he likes me. He is 21 years old, and has already graduated from college, im 17 and i am stilll in high school. I like him back as well. I haven't told my parents about this because i am scared for their reaction. What would you guys (parents advice only) say to this. If your daughter , who has been single all your life, all of sudden brings a 21 year old home......
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Avatar universal
I am a mother of three girls and I'm so glad you posted this question.  There are so many 17 year olds with this type of question that won't ask anyone. I would want my daughter to tell me about the situation.  Not knowing the person I would probably tell her it's ok to continue to talk to him at the place where you met him.  If he is a decent guy and truly likes you for your personality, conversation, company etc. he will continue to talk to you even if you don't go on a "real" date.  I would want to meet him and for you to meet his family to see if he is sincere.  You may not want to do this until talking with him several times. Listen to your gut.  I would not want my 17 yo daughter not to date a 21 yo but I would want to know the whole story before I said no.
Avatar universal
My first boyfriend was 21 and I was 17. And I met him in another country while I was visiting friends. My parents were less than thrilled but he came to visit a few times and we got engaged when I turned 18. That really got my parents in a tizzy! But things didn't work out cause he turned out to be a cheater and although I was devastated at the time, I'm now glad it didn't work out. Cause I was just a kid and if I knew then what I know now, I would have said no to the engagement.

Anyway, since I was 17 and had a 21 year old bf, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But I'm not your parents so I can't tell you how they will react. My parents didn't like it though. But they still let me go visit him in his country and he was allowed to visit me and stay at our house when he came to town.
Avatar universal
I forgot to mention that he was from the country where my parents were born and I think that's why they tolerated him.
Avatar universal
okay, thank you for the response. So, I think it's safe to assume that I should probably just tell my parents about this? How would you take it though? Would you be angry? That I was talking to a guy without you knowing? or that i'm talking to a 21 year old????
Avatar universal
okay, so I think from that, my parents wouldn't freak out too much. plus this guy doesn't live in a different country so it isnt too bad?
Avatar universal
I can't speak for how your parents will react cause I don't know them. I think you should tell them though, cause I did when I got home from my trip after I first met my bf. They didn't freak out and yell at me or anything, they just expressed their dislike with the age difference.
Avatar universal
My sister in law dated a 24 year old guy when she was 19. She married him when she turned 21 (and 4 months pregnant). They had two boys and he left her for another woman 4 years ago. Bottom line, there's no rush to play house.
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