First start havingplay dates. Kids need to interact with other children to learn how to be social with them. Secondly, start on potty training--I was lucky both of my boys trained by 2 1/2--but if the other kids are potty trained in his pre-school it probably makes him upset that he needs his diapered changed and the other children do not...I know at the pre-school my boys go to they had to be trained or they were not allowed to attend. If he has always been surrounded by you and your husband then it is going to take time for him to get used to new rules and how to act--I would ask the teacher not the director what she/he thinks about your child--for directors are not in the room constantly witht the children--I know my oldest his 1st yr of pre-school he was a handful--2nd year totally different child and the teachers even remarked at how much more mature he became over the summer--now in his 3rd year not a single complaint on his behavior..so sometimes it just takes children a little bit longer to socaially mature and become like their peers...Stay on top of it--that is what a good parent does (as you are doing) and just watch for the different signs at home if they change....and talk to the teacher...
thanks so much for your advice! re potty training, we have been trying for about 4-5 months. he seems pretty scared of bathrooms outside the home. we are very very tempted to just get rid of diapers. i kind of think it would take 2 days after that. but the pediatrician thinks that's bad, generally, because it often backfires and can cause probs for years if they arent ready. thoughts?
also i dont think he feels any peer pressure from the kids, which is a little worrisome to me.
as for playdates - i started doing that, in overdrive, but im new to town so im just trying to get going finding more opportunities. and also, he is GREAT on playdates. it seems that it's only a group prob, mostly. one on one he is good.
and as for the teachers, yikes this is tough. his 'lead' teacher, i think, has little experience. she is in her first year leading a class. she doesnt have kids of her own and worked as a float for 2 years and is a nanny. i seriously do not think she has enough judgment. his other teacher seems flighty. the float assigned to him cant be much more than 21. the one with the real experience is the director and she IS very very involved (almost crazily) in the rooms. she is nutty but she knows kids. anyway thanks again!
I am an adult with ADD. Your son seems to be exhibiting many of the symptoms. I recommend you do research on this topic. Some websites are www.chadd.org or www.add.org. Please dont be offended by my suggestion. As a child it was very frustrating for me dealing with ADHD. Unfortunately my parents discarded my mannerisms as just hyperactive behavior or stubbornness and i didn't get treatment until recently. Medication which helps me to focus has changed my life. Had my parents been properly informed and i started treatment as a child i would not have had to go through the scholastic struggles. Children that are ADHD usually have above normal IQ so its not like there is a retardation issue. The neurotransmitters in the brain, norepinephrine is suspected to be low. Norepinephrine is responsible for attention, learning, memory, sleep/wake and mood regulation. The ADHD medications block the transmitter's ability to take in the neurotransmitter therefore allowing more to accumulate resulting in assisting the person in focusing. The medications are CNS stimulants but dont let that scare you. Because of the imbalance it does not have the same effect on a person with adhd as it would with someone who doesnt have the condition. I also have a 3 yr old son. He shows many of the signs as well. Though at this age much of the time they are not able to be diagnosed until kindergarten or so i am watchful and use redirection and the other techniques which are helpful. Again please dont be offended for my suggestion to just check it out. I am just trying to prevent unnecessary struggles like i had when there is help