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4 year old no making friends at preschool

My youngest daughter who is 4 and a five months has been at the same preschool for now the second year and still has no friends. She plays well with neighbors, with her sister and her friends and with our friends' children but seems to spend the day at school alone. She says others will not play with her. She is interested in making friends (and names at least one girl she likes) but I am not sure she knows how to go about it. I can't see anything wrong when she plays at home -- she is not bossy, or extremely shy. I think she is not super assertive at school. The teacher says she is one of the smarter ones and has wondered if she is more developed that the other 4 year olds and not socially advanced enough for the 5 year olds in her class. But the teacher confirmed for me that she is a stand out compare to other girls in that she indeed does not seem to have made a friend. She too is concerned and  wondered if she was depressed about something going on at home. Nothing enourmous is going on at home -- we are an upper middle class Caucasian family of anxious, loving parents, I am working more this year than last...But her behavior was the same last year and the year prior. At the time, parallel play seemed age appropriate, but now, with her verbalizing that she wants friends, it feels sad. I wonder if the school is wrong for her -- the class size is big (24 kids -- all 4-5 year olds). And I wonder what should be my next step. I have tried playdates, but the private school she attends draws from a large area, and these can be difficult to do regularly. Plus, I feel that it is a bit of a vicious circle: kids want playdate with their friends so if she is not friends with a little girl, her mom is not going to drive her around town to a random girls' house. What skills/ assessments/ should I be looking into?
1 Responses
535822 tn?1443976780
It could be that quite naturally ,you are overly concerned that she makes friends at school, possibly your daughter will go about it at her own pace, do not make a thing about it to her it could create an anxiety that isnt there. We always want the best for our children and it can backfire in over reaction. So yes the playdates would be good,if you can arrange them, I feel she has to be the one who makes her own friends and talking to her a lot may do nothing.Take a step back .Good luck
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