Ive tried to make this short, but really want/need/appreciate input.
My heads in a whirlwind. Im a single Dad with 50/50 custody and was at my neighbors tonight having dinner with them. They have a 2 year old daughter. Our kids were playing in the front room. We noticed it got quiet. So we checked on them in the living room where the toys are. Really quiet is usually not a good thing with little kids playing. They were playing normal, but close together. Their daughter went to use the potty soon after and I overheard their daughter say in her little 2 year old voice that my 5 year old daughter had touched her bottom. My eyebrows and ears perked up instantly WHAT!??? I thought, and asked calmly what did she say? She repeated it. I learned that their daughter calls her vagina her bottom as well. When I asked my daughter what happened she said "I dont know what shes talking about", started crying and instantly said she wanted to go home. I tried not to freak and put a wall up on her side. I wanted her to communicate with me. I calmly asked her what happened. She told me she put her hand inside their daughters pants, but wouldnt give a reason why. When I got her to open up while she was explaining what happened she was shaking she was so upset. embarrassed, afraid I was going to be mad because 6 months earlier she and her 3 yr old male cousin (on her Moms side) were caught fondling each other under the covers. We addressed it at the time explaining how it was very inappropriate and we thought that was the end of it. Tonight she was adamant and she said that's the only time anyone has touched her privates was her younger cousin that one time??
I remember exploring as a kid, and have read some about sexual exploration in kids. But in reality, I am in shock. I love her so much and really don't know what to think. my sweet little girl, I honestly feel a bit ashamed like I never have felt before. I hate feeling that way about her at 5. My reaction is critical, I don't want to create a sense of sexual insecurity in my daughter, I want her to talk to me and not create such a sense of fear in her by punishing her beyond merit in the situation. But I definitely do not want to be naive and let this to go by lightly or have it be brushed under the rug.
Is this normal psychosexual development? Normal Exploration for a 5 year old? or Do I need to go down the path to see where there might be abuse happening? Yuk This is awful. Thanks for your input. concerned Dad