Yes, you definitely need to intervene, these parents are not properly caring for their children. YOU are their only hope, you have to be their voice, but I believe you know this already. Children who hoard food do so as a result of not being properly fed, or not fed at all. Yes, I'm sure they are fed well at your house, but if your son is sleeping 12 hours a day, who feeds them during this time? It sounds like their lives are misreable while with their parents, and why in the world would they insist that their little girl dress like a boy, did they not want a girl? As Foster Parents we were taught about children hoarding food, and they continued it until enough time went by for them to learn that they would always have food. I have to wonder if a lot isn't being directed at this little girl, she is hoarding food, they're dressing her like a boy, something is seriously wrong. As grandparents we do want to keep a relationship with our adult children, but I would never want this at the expense of my grandchildren. If you called CPS with this information the children would immediately be removed from the home. These parents are causing serious emotional and physical damage to their children, and they themselves need help. You and your husband have got to intervene. Talk to them about you raising the children until they both get proper therapy, and learn how to properly raise their children. If they refuse this, then get to Social Services and tell then your story and that you want to care for the children until the time the parents are able to raise them. This way they are with you and not in Foster Care. The parents are adults, the children are helpless and hopeless if you don't act. You will live with so much guilt if you don't help your grandchildren. Their parents may get angry, but in the end if they don't realize that what you did was right, and the only thing to do, then they still have some serious issues of their own and should not and will not get their children back. I'd rather have my adult child angry with me and know my grandchildren are well cared for, than the opposite. I could not in good conscience sit back and watch this, it's too sad.
Sounds more to me like someone needs to call Social Services on these 'Parents'....
I agree with mammo and karynrme, These children need to be removed from that home. The hoarding food is because they are not getting fed, They feel like they are going to starve so they are saving food for later. The child not talking could be a hearing loss but it sounds like these kids are left alone all the time with the dad sleeping all day and the mom being out of the country all the time. How can they learn without being taught, kids need social interaction. Forcing the little girl to wear boy’s clothes could also be the fact they just don't care so they are passing down the older boys clothes to the little girl. I am pretty sure it is against the law to leave those young children alone for any period of time, including going jogging? Why not take the 3 yr old in a stroller and let the 5yr old ride a bike. He may not know how to ride a bike? If the dad can't care for them then they should be in daycare for 8 or more hours a day. At least they get interaction with other people; they can get some social skills, talk better, and do the things kids are supposed to do. They would have to pack them lunches and if they showed up to school with no food. The school would call social services. This has gone on for many years from what you described. Your son and daughter in-law obviously have issues if they can't see they are hurting these Children. You need to step in NOW. Get these poor little kids some help and Love. Someone needs to look out for what is in the best interested in the children. The adults have made their decision and you see what they have done. You might want to call their state and find out what you as grandparents need to do to try to get temporary custody of the children. They will need proof of what is going on, that is why so many kids end up back in bad homes. It’s just so hard to tell when it’s not physical violence. I think if a child physiologist were to talk to these children they will with out a doubt know something is wrong. Good luck and do something NOW.
Some posts make me very sad, and this is one of them. These poor children. I'm disturbed by any parent that locks their children in a room so they can sleep, medical condition or not. That is not only inappropriate but dangerous. I understand your desire to stay on good terms with the parents as the fear would be that you would then have no access to the children and at that point, I would fear even more for them. Unfortunately, this is beyond normal irresponsible parenting. They do not seem overly concerned for their children in general. If your son is a stay at home dad, what business does he have for 5 to 8 weeks out of the country. Is he just traveling with his wife?
I would wait until they are back and make the call to social services. They are there to protect children such as these. Perhaps being investigated would cause them to rethink some of the things that they do. Good luck---------- I can only imagine how terrible this must be for you as the grandmother caught between. good luck
I am sure you love your son and your DIL, but YOU are the only voice for these children. They need help and they need it now. I know you are afraid of not being able to see them and want to keep on good terms, but maybe social services will place them with you since you are their grandmother. Sometimes in life we have to make choices that we don't want to for the betterment of others. These children need you to do that for them. Good luck.
please do something so that these children can have a happy life.