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Parenting Young Adults (18-26) Community
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18 yr old daughter and husband arguing constantly, advice?

So recently my 18 yr old daughter has been struggling with some mental health problems. Because of this she can frequently be intensely frustrating to deal with, and often winds up my husband, who is less patient than I am.  Fairly regularly these arguments get quite intense and sometimes physical - my daughter has complained of him bruising and choking her - and are quite stressful for me to deal with.
However adressing either of them about it has proved useless. My daughter absolutely refuses to accept she's at all to blame, and my husband just gets angry at me and says I'm taking her side - last time I tried he cut off my internet and tv for a day. I have no idea how to deal with them.
As well recently my daughters behaviour has gotten worse and she will suddenly start hitting herself and pulling her gair out when stressed. This also annoys my husband.
Does anyone have advice for getting them to deal with eachother better? thank you
4 Responses
13167 tn?1327197724
Can you kick them both out?  Or move out yourself?
139792 tn?1498589250
Blaming the other member in a family fight is normal. Kicking them out will not solve problem, it may break up the family. If professional help is one of the option to settle the issue.
13167 tn?1327197724
Families locked in physical combat isn't normal,  and shouldn't be tolerated,  even for a day.  If they won't move out,  I suggest she book herself a hotel at an extended stay for two weeks,  and tell them to fend for themselves for two week,  bye.  I personally couldn't tolerate living in a home where my daughter and my husband (seems it's not the girl's father) were having physical fights, including the daughter assaulting her own self,  and the mother's husband strangling the adult daughter.

134578 tn?1517087675
If the husband is really strangling the daughter, whether she is frustrating or not, he is committing battery, and that is a crime.  If it had been witnessed by someone besides the main parties in this story, he could have been arrested.

I'd say the daughter needs a mental-health evaluation and some work done on her meds or whatever she has had so far, it's clearly not working.  If the husband knew this was coming, he might be able to muster some patience.  If the wife can't get the child to go to mental-health help and can't get the husband to manage his frustration, I tend to agree with RockRose that she herself should get out of there for a break.  Family member she can stay with?  I realize she might come home and find that the two of them have torn up the house, but unless she feels like calling the police and getting her daughter committed and/or her husband arrested, perhaps it's better just to be gone for a while.
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13167 tn?1327197724
Austin, TX
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