it sounds like your son has taken on a 'poor me' identity, and that you are having trouble tolerating it. Once a child has taken on a role, it can be hard to help him do anything but what he is used to doing, and what other members of the family expect of him. It sounds like you have a hard time respecting a child who reacts strongly and is very sensitive. I am imagining your son is picking up on your feelings toward him, which can damage your relationship over time.
I would recommend you meet with a psychologist to determine if your son actually has a clinical depression or if this is more of a set of learned behaviors. Therapy can help your son develop a better set of coping strategies, and help you steer him towards greater resilience. In the meantime, the book How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk as well as Siblings Without Rivalry (both by Adele Faber) have great information about how to help children break out of self-destructive roles. You are certainly not alone in having a child with this problem, and there are ways to help him.
Thank you for your advice. I had spoken with Counselors regarding my childs behavior and having a session with my child. It's been noted that he is suffering and acting out from Post Tramatic Stress after living through a Catogory 2 Hurricane passing right over his house. Amazing enough when he was explained that it is ok to have been scared and to reassure him that his feeling were real and expected he was feeling better. Smiling again. He was acting out because I am of course the first person on the line of defense when something didn't go right - " blame mommy " well the behavior was not normal and I sensed something was wrong with my once happy child.
On other words I respect my child totally I was caught of guard by this not realizing that he was bottling up fear, concern, anxiety regarding what he just withnessed and lived through. The aftermath and the damage around him and to the area in which he lived. He was soaking it in like a sponge. All sponges need to let out the extra stuff and we are working on it daily now.