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6-year-old sexual acting out - oral sex
It became known that my friends 6-year-old son performed oral sex on a 3-year-old boy while at daycare. In addition to this, the 6 year-old has been fondled almost daily by a 9-year-old boy. It is very difficult to discuss the situation with the 6-year old because he sobs almost uncontrollably at every question, more so on certain questions. To make matters more difficult, the 6-year-old lives with his mother in the house with another couple that provides the childcare.
The only other incident of this nature was two years ago when he exposed himself on many occasions to another boy near his age. It was out of the ordinary only because of the frequency, almost obsessive with any contact with this boy. It was stopped with constant supervision.
At present, the attitude of the mother and the other couple is that "boys will be boys." In my opinion, there almost certainly has to be an adult influence either directly or indirectly with this type of ongoing behavior. Obviously, proper supervision is lacking. Once I became aware of the situation I reassured the child he was not in trouble, not his fault, etc. The next time I saw him he would not even speak casually with me and would leave the room I was in. I believe that he has been threatend and is very scared, not of me but with exposing the secret. It was repoted to the police. They went to their home to be "sure no adult was molesting children." Just having the police there sent the 6-year-old into a crying frenzy which caused the police to question the adults there about the boys reaction to their presence. CPS is supposed to follow up within a week.
Could you please give me some feedback on what is within normal range of 6-year-old boys sexual curiosity and behavior? This boy is extremely compliant but is very bossy with other children in private. I am fearful for this boys well being as well as other children around him.
The only other incident of this nature was two years ago when he exposed himself on many occasions to another boy near his age. It was out of the ordinary only because of the frequency, almost obsessive with any contact with this boy. It was stopped with constant supervision.
At present, the attitude of the mother and the other couple is that "boys will be boys." In my opinion, there almost certainly has to be an adult influence either directly or indirectly with this type of ongoing behavior. Obviously, proper supervision is lacking. Once I became aware of the situation I reassured the child he was not in trouble, not his fault, etc. The next time I saw him he would not even speak casually with me and would leave the room I was in. I believe that he has been threatend and is very scared, not of me but with exposing the secret. It was repoted to the police. They went to their home to be "sure no adult was molesting children." Just having the police there sent the 6-year-old into a crying frenzy which caused the police to question the adults there about the boys reaction to their presence. CPS is supposed to follow up within a week.
Could you please give me some feedback on what is within normal range of 6-year-old boys sexual curiosity and behavior? This boy is extremely compliant but is very bossy with other children in private. I am fearful for this boys well being as well as other children around him.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello,
from the information you have provided, there is something very wrong in this situation. This behavior is not at all typical among 6 year old boys (or boys of any age), and must not be dismissed as normal exploration. I understand your concern for other children around him, and for the adults he has been exposed to. In a situation such as this, children have often been exposed to either sexual abuse or have observed adults engaging in sexual behavior. It sounds very appropriate the the police and CPS are involved. Sexual abuse can go on for long periods of time in families, as people are very good at pretending that it is not happening.
This child sounds very distressed, and should be seen by a psychologist who specializes in sexually traumatized children. Hopefully CPS and the police can connect him to appropriate mental health services.
Best Wishes
Rebecca Resnik
from the information you have provided, there is something very wrong in this situation. This behavior is not at all typical among 6 year old boys (or boys of any age), and must not be dismissed as normal exploration. I understand your concern for other children around him, and for the adults he has been exposed to. In a situation such as this, children have often been exposed to either sexual abuse or have observed adults engaging in sexual behavior. It sounds very appropriate the the police and CPS are involved. Sexual abuse can go on for long periods of time in families, as people are very good at pretending that it is not happening.
This child sounds very distressed, and should be seen by a psychologist who specializes in sexually traumatized children. Hopefully CPS and the police can connect him to appropriate mental health services.
Best Wishes
Rebecca Resnik
Thank you so much for your insight and responding so quickly. You have helped calm me down that the situation hasn't "been blown out of proportion." This weekend was very stressful because my "friend" takes great exception that his son needs constant supervision around other children.
The daycare adults admit to two occasions where the "boys" were discovered hiding with their pants down. That should have been their clue to keep a close watch on them, but apparently these behaviors have been ongoing for at least three months from what little information we have. The incident with the 3 year old is recent. He is no longer at the daycare center.
My hope is that CPS makes contact soon before he becomes so intimidated that nothing will ever be learned to protect him, whatever the source. I am surprised that within a daycare setting, with a couple of confirmed incidents that they didn't respond immediately.
Thank you again. This forum has been very helpful.
The daycare adults admit to two occasions where the "boys" were discovered hiding with their pants down. That should have been their clue to keep a close watch on them, but apparently these behaviors have been ongoing for at least three months from what little information we have. The incident with the 3 year old is recent. He is no longer at the daycare center.
My hope is that CPS makes contact soon before he becomes so intimidated that nothing will ever be learned to protect him, whatever the source. I am surprised that within a daycare setting, with a couple of confirmed incidents that they didn't respond immediately.
Thank you again. This forum has been very helpful.
A related discussion, 6 Year Old requesting Oral was started.
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