8 year old boy sleeping in bed with mom

[roxy5180]

Is it okay for an 8 year old boy to still be sleeping in bed with his mom?  My boyfriend's son is still sleeping in bed with his mom.  His mom doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with it.  My boyfriends son ask him if i could sleep in bed with my son and if he and his dad could sleep in the same bed.  Is it against the law?  It almost seems like a form of abuse to me.  I bet money if it was a little girl sleeping in bed with her dad someone would call someone!  

[tika90]

That is gross.. The reason why your bf son is sleeping with the mother is because her *** doesn't have a man!! They treat these little boys like they are their man! (not sexual of course.... i hope)

[syl223]

I dont think i can stand my bf's little 7yr old girl waking me and my bf up everynite cuz she cant sleep and needs someone to sleep with her. It is driving me crazy..but he thinks  he cant do anything about it cuz his ex (her mother) is sleeping in the same bed with her and it is causing problems at our house cuz now she is so co-dependent. I was wondering is it normal for a 7 yr old to sleep with thier parents still? He puts her to bed everynite and sneeks out but she then wakes us up every time after that and he has to go put her in bed again. This pattern needs to stop but he wont put his foot down cuz he wants to make her happy. It really feels like the child is in control not the parents in this one..but he dosnt know what to do and I am not the parent so I cant make any decisions. I really need some advice on how to make this stop..cuz it has to end this year..i do not think it is normal for an 8 yr old to still be crying and needing someone to sleep with her. There needs to be boundaries and some tough love here. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I (we) should do here. I am desperete cuz this needs to stop. If she was my kid..I would just say..this is how it is and thats it. Your staying in your bed and thats it..if u get out then you will be punished. But he is not like that...he is too soft with her and is babying her and it is making her way too dependent..but its not just him the bigger problem is her mom doing it which we have no control over..but we do have control over this situation in our house..how do I get him to see that and to take control. We need some middle ground.

[lovingmomofthree]

I dont think people that dont have children have a right to post their opinion on this matter. I have an 11 year old son, and I will go to bed with him, read for awhile and fall asleep but then at some point in the night go to my own bed. I use to let him sleep in my bed but now he sleeps in his own. He is very independant. He has no problem spending the night at friends or grandmas or dads house. Just because a child has issues or problems does not mean they are from sleeping with their parents. My son has ADHD and it is not from sleeping with me. He is very respectful & compassionate. He does not act like a girl or sissy. My husband is not a cuddler or affectionate. He has two children of his own & it is very akward for them to hug. His children have many emotional problems from lack of affection. My two older daughters also slept with me when they were younger. I believe I have a close relationship with all my children & thank God everynight for my healthy children. There is no stronger bond then that of a mother & child. That is the way God intended it or he would not have us carry our children inside us for nine months or give us breast to feed our children. Which just happens to be the most important thing you could ever do for your baby. If you are a step parent with no children of your own & you see it  wrong for your spouse to cuddle their children then you are jealous he is giving them love & attention & not you. You need to stay out of the relationship between a parent & their children. Yes, in some extreme cases there is something wrong & it needs to be taken care of. In all normal cases there are those that are extreme. But the extreme cases can not set the standard for every situation. If my son was having wet dreams or masterbating then I would not be sleeping with him. I know he is getting older & I am making the transition for him to be going to bed on his own. All in good time. All those problems listed have happpened to many other children as well & a lot of them were not sleeping with their parents. Every child is different & every situation is different. Soon my son will be a mouthy teenager who seems to be from another planet that does not want to hang out with his mom. For now,  Ill take every single opportunity I can get to hold him. Once they grow up those opportunities are gone forever!!!

[smiley307]

im having a problem now, i live with my boyfriend and have been for 2 years his son comes to stay every other weekend and when his son come to sleep i would have to sleep in the spare room so his son could sleep in our bedroom with his dad, i didnt agree with this and thought it is wrong this is my home aswell as my partners and i shouldnt be sleeping in the spare room in my own home when his son stays! well anyway it caused a lot of tension and i got really down about this and also felt pushed out, aint it normal to sleep with your partner not your kid! i said how i felt and i didnt think it was right or fair and his son should be sleeping in the spare room in his own bed and my partner should be sleeping with me his partner, so he said okay ill start putting him to sleep in his own room so he did for a few weeks and now hes started to sleep with him in his sons room! now it just seems like everything i said didnt matter or he didnt get what i meant but its like going back to square one!! now can someone please tell me if they think i am being silly or am i right about this situation, as its getting me down and its makin me not want to be with my partner because of this!! his son is 6 now, he has his own bedroom to sleep in, and should his dad my partner be sleeping with his son in his room or with me his partner, i just think its kinda wrong!!!???

[tomodo]

Hi, 3 years in another bed is a long time. Too long for me. I would say that if you're not sleeping alone with your girl friend most of the time. I'd be concerned. Some women or men I guess dont know how to keep a healthy balance of attachment. If she continues to boot you out of bed to sleep with her son everynight..id get another girl friend. I'm curious. How is the sex between you and your girl? How often. Does she seem to "need" or have urgency or strong desire to be physical with you and have some sex/intmacy with you...Or is like, she can do without it? I have a theory that co-sleeping, hence fills an emotional need, consciously or subconsciously, kills or stunts or limits the urge and a natural tendency to "crave" or need emotional intimacy, to some extent small or large, with anyone else, since their somewhat "filled" with the ever presence of their child or children sleeping with them.  

[connorjacks]

I met my girlfriend three years ago and now I'm ready to just leave, because I haVe been sleeping alone in my own bed because of her son that's sleeps with her. He was four years old when I met my girl and now he is six years old ,well this is not good for a relatioship its *****,and he has his own room,I told her what is he going to sleep with you till he is 18