9 year old soiling pants

[arekgb]

I am at the end of my rope.  My nine year old son poops his pants every day.  This has been going on for over two years now.  We have been to doctors, gastroenterologist, and, counselors.  Nothing has helped!  We have used miralax, stool sofeners, and fiber.  We have made hime set on the toilet several times a day.  We have tryed rewards and punishment.  Nothing has worked.  He has been wearing pullups for over year becasue we can not afford to keep buying underwear.  He pretends nothing is out of the ordindary.  He will not clean himself up until someone smells him and tells him to do so.  Now we are having major issues at school because of this.  His father and I are so frustrated with this and just do not know what else to do.  There has been no trauma or abuse.  We have tryed to just say ok our child poops his pants and that is the way it is and just accept it becasue nothing has worked, but that is not working either.  It is causing our whole family much turmoil.  Please does anyone have any suggestions other than what has been posted.

[annanbu]

i totally agree my grandson has been doing this since he was 5 he is now 8 and i have to say that the posts on here are very disheartening
we really hoped as he got older he would grow out of it he sees the dr takes the softeners the usual but he still occassionally has an accident the school are good and we are working together
i feel so sorry for him its spoiling his fun and he hates it
he does lie understanably with the embarrasment of it
Sitting him on the loo with his i pad for 15 min every morning helps to controll it but its such a worry all day if he doesent go
we try to reassure him but its very stressful
We really hope we can help him get it under contoll but to anyone out there please dont use punishment its bad enough for them without being afraid of their loved ones
good luck to anyone in this situation and if you find any success please share it

[juliejake]

Hi

This problem is called encopresis.  My 5 yo son has it (for last 18 months).  It usually brought about by stress (any stress) and often constipation.  It turns into a vicious cycle.  The more they hold the more they get constipated, the more they hold so it doesn't hurt to push out.  Changes in life, like starting school, divorce, early toilet training, negativity when having poop accidents, etc can cause it.

Pee accidents are usually the result of a blocked up bowel and put pressure on the bladder.  Fix the poop problem and the pee problem should self resolve.  Having said that, I am finding the poop problem extraordinarnarily hard to fix.  We are in the midst of trying "soiling solutions" (google it).  And although we are having some set backs, we at least have a program to follow and are moving in the right direction (slowly).

My 5 yo is a beautiful smart little boy who is so willful and defiant and has become a flat out liar when it comes to poo.  There really is no logic or rationalisation for kids with this problem, they are masters of denial.  Get them on a super dose of laxatives and clean them out thoroughly then start the soiling solutions program.  It won't be easy, in fact it is the hardest thing I have to do, but I can see progress, albeit slow.  But some people have remarkably good success early on.  Once you buy the manual there is a web forum for mums/dads to check in and ask questions and get support.

Good luck everyone.  

[lauren767676]

Where you stated that you work with troubled kids I wondered if you thought it could also be from sexual abuse. I am extremely worried about my 9 yr old nephew who has done this his entire life. Lauren

[lauren767676]

Hi Angela, By now I hope your problem with child has resolved somewhat and if ti did, please tell me how. My nephew has never been completely toilet trained and he's 9 now. He will pee in toilet but 50 % of the time poops his pants. My brother found no medical issues w him at Boston Children's hospital but that was last year. He has been seeing a psychologist who suggested letting the child clean himself up, which hasnt worked. I have read it could be a power struggle or perhaps sexual abuse. I hate to think of the latter bc my brother and wife had this child in their 40's and continue to travel but place him in every type of daycare ( such as on the cruise or resort, etc.) My nephew has also had numerous babysitters thru the years. Has anyone been told this could be a problem?

[MomOfFiveBlessings]

By the way, we have tried miralax for the last 5 years without success but not always a plan.  We had a test done at the hospital to make sure internally everything is working properly (it is).  We have been to a GI doctor and to a therapist.  I am exhausted emotionally by all this.

[MomOfFiveBlessings]

I stumbled upon this website last night and after reading several of your comments, my heart went out to all of you and surprisingly it also lifted my spirits because I now know that my family is not alone.  Our son is also 9 and the problem started shortly after he toilet trained (or did he?).  After being bombarded by his teachers yesterday, I realized I could no longer go on as we were and I needed to try to find a solution.  Through reading several posts, it sounds like we need to go back to square one and try the method we started with.  It did not work the first time but he was younger then and we also did not put our heart into it; we still figured he would out grow this problem.  I have created a reward chart of positive reinforcements for small successes (1 day dry/no poops in the pants) with larger incentives for long term success.  We're putting him back on miralax, having him sit on the toilet for 20 minutes in the morning and after dinner. Met with his doctor today; she loved our plans and is supporting our efforts.  I am hopeful and praying that this works.  I will keep you all posted as well as keep you all in my prayers.