How should I handle this issue?

[Fatheroftwo]

I am a father of two wonderful girls. One is six, the other is two. I am very happy with both my girls, but am concerned with my six year olds recenet activities. My six year old has now begun to masterbate. Though she does this in private, or in the tub. I am concerned about it. I have heard that it is natural and other words of comfort. I have spoken with my daughter about the issue after her mother brought it to my attention. I explaned that I was not mad at her, just wanted to understand why she was doing it. She told me she didn't know why she done it, she just did. She further expained to me that it tickles. I had her mother check her private area out, with thoughts that maybe my daughter had tickled confused with itch's. To my dismay, that was not the case. I have yet to take any real action on the issue as far as some type of punnishment. I would rather get a professional opinion on the matter. My wife and I are divorced, though I have custody of my daughter. I let her stay with her mother. I am single, where as her mother is liveing with someone and is now exspecting her third child. My daughter has made statements about the fact that she doesn't like her mother and her boyfriend doing nasty things. By nasty things my daughter describes as "Momma and her boyfriend sleeping naked together". Not sure on any thing else that I am not aware of. I try to keep a very open and honest relationship with my kids to prevent them from keeping anything from me. I would rather be involved with them, than be an enemy to them. I would realy appreciate some advice on the matter and how I should go about handleing the issue. Thank You.

[Jessx3]

I too, have a six year old who enjoys touching himself.  Although he is not so private about it.  I have commented on him to stop it.  He will just stick his hands down his pants while watching TV.  He also rubs his penis on things like furniture and stuff.  His pants are up of course.  I feel this type of behavior is normal in children of this age group.  If is a form of self discovery.  A concern of mine is, if you have custody of your daughter and allow her to stay with her mother, however nice of you, after finding out information like you did, why did you continue to allow her to stay there?  If it were me and my child made comments to apparent sexual behavior in front of the children, I would want them with me until the situation could and should be addressed.  There is no law that prohibits a man and a woman from sleeping naked together, but discretion is always neccessary when children are involved.  Their little minds are so impressionable.  

[judicookie]

Masturbation is normal!  Please do not even think of punishing her for this.  I agree with Rock Rose that she needs to know where it is private (such as alone in her bed, in the bathroom, etc)   not in front of others.  Talk with mom re issues wiht boyfriend.  If you get no where, just tell your daughter that grownups sometimes do this when they are in love, to show their love.  There are many things that are ok for adults that are not ok for children.

There is a great sex ed book out...Where did I come from...Peter Mayle I think is the author.  It explains many things, such as masturbation.  It does sort of tickle doesnt it?

Good Luck

[RockRose]

I don't understand why parents ask why children do this.  Why does anyone masturbate?  Because it feels good!  

The problem here,  is although you say she's doing it in "private",  apparently she isn't if everyone knows about it.  

She needs to learn to do things "privately".  

Also,  that is TOTALLY inappropriate that a 6 year old little girl is aware that her mother and some man are sleeping naked.  Talk about not understanding how to keep things private!!  Before you think about having "the talk" with your little girl,  try to rattle some sense into her dumb mother.