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My daughter wont talk to us and wont interact with us at all. What should I do?

She is 15 and used to be a really gentle natured kid, a little on the quiet side and like her dad, quite buttoned up emotionally.  She went to stay with my sister overseas 2 years ago and she took her out everywhere and then bullied me into buying her an i phone which I didnt want to do for another few years.  Since then she has steadily transformed into another person.  She does nothing around the house at all, nags and guilts me into giving her whatever she says she needs but lies in bed with her devices every day apart from when she is out with friends.  She is very popular, never bullied and seems really happy.  No drugs or boys which is great but she doesnt help around the house and if you determine that she must do something she will quite literally smash and damage things or do them so poorly that you never ask again.  If you ever say no to her she will set up a campaign to make you feel awful every time you interact with her.  You're stupid, you're ruining her life and she will keep up the aggressive or unpleasant behaviour for weeks.  She will not stay in the same room as us and because we have twice had to say no to her this year, she has quite literally sent us to Coventry.  
She now leaves the house in the morning before we get up and when I have to go down to pick her up off the bus (No I dont have to, she could walk) , we drive the journey home in silence.  Do I have any chance of getting my daughter back?  I dont know if this is normal but I dont know what to do.  I am scared to even talk to her because a simple asking of "Did you get your exam marks back?, turns into NO, I will tell you when I do so dont ask again.  Except that she will never tell you.

Some days I dont see her at all and am secretly relieved but I still cry most nights because I feel so hurt and powerless.  I have tried to talk to her but she tends to sit there in silence and wont discuss stuff.

I am feeling very depressed and like I am almost ready to give up on her and accept I have lost her so if anyone has any solutions, I'd like to hear it.  PS:  I tried to get her/us to a counsellor but she wouldnt consent to one as she doesnt need it and doesnt have anything to say.  
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