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Out of control stepson

I have a 6 year old girl from a past relationship and a two year old girl with my current boyfriend. Last year his ex dropped off his son and his sister (a girl from her other ex) She said she couldn't take care of them right now. So they pretty much moved into my house since I would be taking care of them while my boyfriend is at work. He is up at 4 am and doesn't get home until around 6pm. At first everything was fine. But a couple months after they came to stay with me my stepson became out of control. He doesn't listen to me at all, he argues over everything, he throws fits and he hits himself. One time one of his fits got so bad he dropkicked a baby gate and my youngest was standing on the other side of and it sent her into the wall. He listens to his dad most of the time but not me. Hes really good at pushing my buttons. I punish him and most of the time his dad backs me up but other times he goes in there and coddles him in a way. He is afraid that hes going to grow up to be out of control because hes always getting in trouble. He acts up in school. I have tried everything I can think of but nothing works. Theres no way im leaving my boyfriend( even though my stepson always says he wants us to break up) but something needs to be done. Advice Please!
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6333619 tn?1386598382
Sounds like to me he didn't have a stable mother so he's looking at you like you will hurt him the same way so he has issues with women
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your advice, I have made an appointment wit the school counselor to talk about the issue.
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5914096 tn?1399918987
Given all of the family structure changes your step kids have and are attempting to adjust to, it is my guess that your stepson's acting out behavior may have something to do with adjustment issues.  It would be my strong recommendation that you seek mental health individual and family counseling.  This would not only help your stepkids cope with the number of adjustments in their life but also help you better manage them.  The school counselor might be able to provide these services.  

Sometimes, parents take it for granted that their kids will simply adjust to multiple parental authorities and drastic family structure changes.  However, this rarely is the case.  Discipline needs to be in place.  However, these kids require emotional support systems to emotionally adjust to all of the changes in their life.  Without it, discipline isn't going to do much good.
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