talking in class

[dylansmom2001]

Hi, our son is an only child, he is a well behaved, good listener has many friends and is over all a great kid, he did get one bad jean, and that is that he loves to talk.
we have tried many things with him of encouragement. now he does not disrupt the teacher but at table time this last year when the teacher would be in back reading with another child, Dylan would find him self chatty and with 5 minutes by the wall. now his report card was great, 44 A's and 10 B's. but with going into first grade this year, what can we do so we do not struggle with this again. The teacher last year, did say that he did improve thru the year. But i would like to start out the year out with out all the chattiness....
any suggestions what we can do to encourage the not so much talking thing. should i talk to the teacher about different things that we can do together. I guess in one way i see that it is not effecting his work, as he does do great in school. or do you think this is a lot of only child things...

[CityMom]

I have this problem as well and  am not certain I am dealing with it properly. I do believe that the teacher as well as myself as his parent have a shared responsibility in this. I am his mother therefore I discipline him. However, he is a 4.0 student and has been since he started school never had a B. This is the second school he's been in since head start as a recent home purchase caused the tranfer. I transition well almost to well he has become very popular and chatty. Although this has no affect on his grades it does in coorperate student with less academic success. As a parent when I get the memo I do my part removing all electronic items(laptop, 3ds, TV and cell phone) I know he's only ten and has some very expensive items but he earned them started selling mechanical pencils as his own business in school and make his own money ontop of allowence and gifts. Therefore, he basically does get whatever he wants. However, I want him to perform well as well as communicate with his peers. He is highly interested in politics. Public speaking is am important aspect of politics. At the last school he attended he became ths MC of all programs. I do not want to rid him of his public speaking skills and confidence. I asked him why were you talking his reply was because he was done working and had nothing to do. I ask (lbenites ) who is responsible for his work load in school? Would that be me as well? The teacher and I have discussed this and she seems to be coping. However, this is my child and his education is VERY IMPORTANT to me so today I will be visiting his school with a sign that reads I CANNOT TALK TO YOU DURING CLASS AS MY EDUCATION IS TOO IMPORTANT TO ME. I explained to him if he does not follow the rules in lie he could later on be holding a sign of a different nature (we live in Detroit Mi) he had visuals of the signs trust me. Question is Is that fair treatment? Will it backfire? Is it excessive? I'm not sure the only thing of certainty is this I love him he is a young african american male in a city that is crumbling. I am doing all I can to now purchase another home in a suburban area in hopes to increase his school work load and minimize his conversation during learning time. There is no parent handbook we just do our best

[lbenites]

I'm sorry but I have to disagree with the person who wrote that Dylan's talking is not your problem therefore left up to the teacher to deal with.  You are his mother and therefore it is your responsibility to set limits and boundaries, NOT HIS TEACHERS.  I  applaud you for trying to resolve this before it gets too much out of hand.

I was very much a talker in school and to this day I remember my teacher making me stand for long periods of time and put my nose in a circle on the chalkboard, not to mention that I rarely went out for recess. It traumatized me more than helped me and unfortunately my mother was too busy talking to everyone but me or my teacher. Stay involved with your son's school and make it your business to know what is going on with your son and if he has talked out of turn how was it dealt with?  Be sure to always ask Dylan what happened too and make him feel like his opinion counts. This helps him recall the events of his actions and hopefully start to make wiser choices, even in the first grade. Let him know that his actions can have conscequences or rewards.

You might want to talk to his teacher and tell her of his behavior and to keep you posted on a regular basis, If he goes without being disruptive in class for the whole day give him a star to put on a reward chart that you and Dylan make together. This way it gets him involved and if he earn 3 stars, 5 stars or  whatever limit you or both of you decide on then reward him. Maybe even make a treasure chest and allow him to pick a prize from  the chest possibly from the dollar store, a trip to the zoo,maybe the  library, or write happy meal with ice cream treat from your favorite place, etc..  Be creative.  Best of luck to you and Dylan.

[jdtm]

The issue of your son's excessive talking in school is not your problem.  It is the teacher's problem and there are many ways for a teacher to encourage talkative children to be more patient and respectful of the time of others.  From your posting, it appears as if this teacher is coping with this problem as your son "did improve" through the past school year.  By the way, I am a retired teacher.

About the only thing that I can think of that you might encourage this summer would be to take time to help your son learn to listen to others and teach him about the "give and take" required in conversation, particularly if and when he interrupts others.  Often people "who talk too much" have not learned to respect the time and boundaries and opinions of others; or even how to relax in social situations.  I think if one treats this as a kindness/consideration issue rather than a talking issue, the problem will become less and less.  I wish you the best ...