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infant sleep problems
my infant is now 10 months old. she hasnt yet slept threw the night. she has maybe once or twice slept 4hrs one night but not that often. when she takes naps its for 30 minutes unless we are in the car then she might sleep and hour or if she is in a swing she might sleep an hour. at night she sleeps in 30-40 minute intervals. she wakes up crying or in these horrible high pitch screams. we use to live in texas at a base and she would wake to eat all the time cause she is what they call a cluster feeder and breastfed. we moved into my parents place and she slept in her playpen like she did at our house and she still did the same. now we are in our own place and she has her own crib and she wont sleep in it either. im worried that there is something wrong i just dont know what or how to tell the doctor. any ideas?
well i have been giving her the water but she throws a major fit so i give in to her and let her know im here to comfort her and i feed her. i have noticed that if i turn her facing outwards and stay standing rocking her she doesnt try to feed. so we have been trying that also. the last two nights she has slept alittle better but still has been getting up 5-7 times afrom 730pm-645am. so i think thats better then what she was doing. thanks again for the advice.
I also say go with your gut, if its not possible to not to let her feed just do it .How did you get on did you try what the Doctor said ?.
I am a big believer in mommy's instinct. You always know what's best, and a good pediatrician will work with that. Just to clarify, I never deprived him of food. We slowly weaned, a bit at a time. It wasn't a sudden stop feeding at night. Good luck, sleeping issues are always tough ones. And wow...back molar at 10 months? Isn't that super early for a molar? We are doing eye teeth right now and those are tough enough. I heard molars give them quite a hard time.
I also dont like the idea of depriving a child ,so if you dont we are back to the problem of her crying...I say go with your gut..its you will be tired and she will grow out of it quickly enough .so put up with it ...at least you will be doing what makes you feel comfortable and she'll be happy ..
well we went to the doctor today. he told me that everything looks good with her. the only thing he found wrong is her back molar is coming in and tht could be the cause of the not sleeping and the fussiness. he told me to stop breastfedding her at night and just give her water. after a few nights of this she wont wake as much. the only thing is is that she has never been a real good sleeper and when she doesnt get the breast when she wakes but still sleepy she screams and throws her body around in my arms. im going to try hard to not feed her but i really dont know if its right to deprive a cluster feeder of food. thanks again for your advice.
I came across this while googling if you can believe it. How long have I been on MH, and find this question that way..lol.
I don't' want to offend anyone here, only share my own experiences. From the day my son was born he just wasn't a good sleeper. My Pediatrician tells me some kids just aren't. They aren't good at self soothing. He woke every hour for the first 3 months. I am grateful for my supportive husband as we slept in shifts during that time. You love your child and you do what you have to do to make it work.
Once he hit about 6 months or so, things were better, but still not good. My Pediatrician told me to let him cry it out, but I have to tell you, I was adamantly opposed to that. At the time I felt like it was child abuse. Like most moms, my son is the absolute center of my universe and I am more then willing to sacrifice my well being for his. It's what we do right? Well, then I learned that the lack of sleep is bad for their health. Babies around this age need 10 to 12 hours of solid sleep. Not having that can impact their growth, their health and their general well being. Not saying it will, just that it can. My son was so grumpy all the time, he was so overtired. In further conversation with my Pediatrician, she once again reiterated that some children just don't learn to self soothe. It's nothing mommy is doing wrong, its just the way they are born.
We started by cutting out the night time feedings. Not cold turkey, but by slowly decreasing the amount we would feed him when he woke up at night. He definately compensated by eating more during the day. He was still gaining weight and he was fine. We cut out one bottle at a time. This took about 3 or so weeks to accomplish. Now when he woke, I would pick him up, cuddle him, and put him back to bed. After a week of that, when he woke I would go in, not turn on the lights, speak very softly to him, stroke his back, then leave. I slowly increased the time intervals, letting him cry 5, then 10 minutes before doing so. A few more weeks and I let him cry it out. He lasted only about 10 minutes or so and went back to sleep. A few nights of that and he was sleeping through the night. I so wish I had done this for him earlier. What a difference. Happier during the day, takes a decent nap during the day and just an overall more cheerful, rested child.
I don't often admit this because of the criticism around crying it out. And I am not saying this is the right way for everyone....every child is different. We mommies know our children better then anyone else possibly could. We have to do what is best for them. For us, this worked.
Again, just my story...if you think it might work for you, then I am glad I could help. If not, then I truly hope you find what does, and you will.
Take care.
I don't' want to offend anyone here, only share my own experiences. From the day my son was born he just wasn't a good sleeper. My Pediatrician tells me some kids just aren't. They aren't good at self soothing. He woke every hour for the first 3 months. I am grateful for my supportive husband as we slept in shifts during that time. You love your child and you do what you have to do to make it work.
Once he hit about 6 months or so, things were better, but still not good. My Pediatrician told me to let him cry it out, but I have to tell you, I was adamantly opposed to that. At the time I felt like it was child abuse. Like most moms, my son is the absolute center of my universe and I am more then willing to sacrifice my well being for his. It's what we do right? Well, then I learned that the lack of sleep is bad for their health. Babies around this age need 10 to 12 hours of solid sleep. Not having that can impact their growth, their health and their general well being. Not saying it will, just that it can. My son was so grumpy all the time, he was so overtired. In further conversation with my Pediatrician, she once again reiterated that some children just don't learn to self soothe. It's nothing mommy is doing wrong, its just the way they are born.
We started by cutting out the night time feedings. Not cold turkey, but by slowly decreasing the amount we would feed him when he woke up at night. He definately compensated by eating more during the day. He was still gaining weight and he was fine. We cut out one bottle at a time. This took about 3 or so weeks to accomplish. Now when he woke, I would pick him up, cuddle him, and put him back to bed. After a week of that, when he woke I would go in, not turn on the lights, speak very softly to him, stroke his back, then leave. I slowly increased the time intervals, letting him cry 5, then 10 minutes before doing so. A few more weeks and I let him cry it out. He lasted only about 10 minutes or so and went back to sleep. A few nights of that and he was sleeping through the night. I so wish I had done this for him earlier. What a difference. Happier during the day, takes a decent nap during the day and just an overall more cheerful, rested child.
I don't often admit this because of the criticism around crying it out. And I am not saying this is the right way for everyone....every child is different. We mommies know our children better then anyone else possibly could. We have to do what is best for them. For us, this worked.
Again, just my story...if you think it might work for you, then I am glad I could help. If not, then I truly hope you find what does, and you will.
Take care.
We all have differing opinions , thats all they are here, whatever culture we are from .Its up to the parent to make up her mind how to cope ,we can give input as each sees it, . all is cool, we are all trying to help .
Your welcome elmo. :) It WILL get easier.
Margypops, I was not indicating you said to let her cry it out. What you said was correct. I was referring to cheschchesch819 who said, "if you find it hard to ignore your baby ask for help and leave the house for a few hours."
I realize different cultures, different countries, etc. Many people use this technique with success....I personally don't like to tell a sleep-deprived and worried mom to go get a coffee while her baby (who is likely her very reason for living) screams loud enough to disturb the neighbours. I think you hit the nail on the head with this being a habit/comfort issue. I'm just really sensitive about "cry it out" for personal reasons.
Margypops, I was not indicating you said to let her cry it out. What you said was correct. I was referring to cheschchesch819 who said, "if you find it hard to ignore your baby ask for help and leave the house for a few hours."
I realize different cultures, different countries, etc. Many people use this technique with success....I personally don't like to tell a sleep-deprived and worried mom to go get a coffee while her baby (who is likely her very reason for living) screams loud enough to disturb the neighbours. I think you hit the nail on the head with this being a habit/comfort issue. I'm just really sensitive about "cry it out" for personal reasons.
You are welcome , there is no doubt its because she is used to you picking her up that she wants it , how you deal with it is up to you, she would rather be with you ., hopefully as she gets older you may get some more sleep ..goodluck
thank you for ur advice. when she was first born she would sleep in her playpen next to our bed. when she woke to fed i would let her feed in our bed then when asleep back in her playpen. she didnt like the crib much. when we moved back here she has her crib in our room but not right against our bed. when she cries i go get her feed her and try to lay her back in the bed. sometimes it works other times she is up as soon as she hits the crib. its the same way during the day time also. i have tried putting my shirt in with her, the pillow i use, ect. im all out of ideas. so thanks for giving me some more ideas.
elmo If you read my post I haven't suggested that you let her cry it out, I was asking you if she cries do you take her to your bed , perhaps she has got into the habit so she may be with you .?It is always up to a mother whether she takes her child out to be with her, many do and it works , you could also place the crib beside your bed so she knows you are there , again I do not believe that a child should be left to scream .
Also, with what to tell the doctor....tell him she is not sleeping through the night, and no sleeping longer than an hour. Tell him you are exhausted, she is screaming, etc. This is really not enough time for her to complete a proper sleep cycle. Sleep is essential for growth and development. Babies process what they have learned throughout the day during sleep. They also grow in their sleep. Sleep is VERY important for the ENTIRE family. If the doctor is not compassionate about your situation, look for another one.
I 100% totally disagree with "cry it out". There are ways to wean your baby from your nightly comfort, without ignoring here. Babies cry as a means of communication, even if she is saying, "mommy, I want you". Would you really respond by saying, "I don't care". Because by ignoring your baby, that is what you are telling her. Sorry, I think it is an antiquated way of dealing with a child. If I had ignored my screaming baby, her throat would have eroded from the acid reflux. My good friend's baby was a screamer. If she had used "cry it out", her baby would be deceased right now. She was screaming because she had a heart condition that was not evident until her first birthday.
I have a few suggestions that you could try first. Babywearing. If you wear your baby in a sling throughout the day, this develops a closeness and security that will pass through to the night. If you carry her right before bed and she falls asleep, put her into the crib on top of the cloth carrier (such as a mei tai). Your scent will remain. You could also lay her on a T-shirt you have worn throughout the day. White noise may also help, such as running a fan. Soothing lullaby music may also help. Find a nice routine, bath, infant massage, story, cuddle and a rock, and into the crib. When she does wake, go to her, but do not pick her up. Rub her back, stroke her face....if she's really freaking out, pick her up to calm her, and then immediately back into the crib. If she is still crying and you know she's not hungry or wet, stay in the room in a chair beside the bed, so she knows you are there. Gradually move the chair away from the crib each night.
These are mere suggestions and you know your baby best. I just feel like there are dozens of things you can try first before opting for "cry it out".
If nothing you try works, and you are desperate, it might help to talk to her doctor again, to be sure there isn't a medical reason. I doubt there is, but reflux is a tricky thing, and the number one reason babies do not sleep well. Breastfed and cluster feed babies are really dependent on their moms for comfort, so I suspect this is the issue. If Dad is around, perhaps he can do some night consoling...he may not be able to console her at first, and she'll be mad, but at least you will know she is being tended to, and she will learn not to be so dependent on you at night. Good luck. Sleep deprivation ***** (((HUGS)))
I have a few suggestions that you could try first. Babywearing. If you wear your baby in a sling throughout the day, this develops a closeness and security that will pass through to the night. If you carry her right before bed and she falls asleep, put her into the crib on top of the cloth carrier (such as a mei tai). Your scent will remain. You could also lay her on a T-shirt you have worn throughout the day. White noise may also help, such as running a fan. Soothing lullaby music may also help. Find a nice routine, bath, infant massage, story, cuddle and a rock, and into the crib. When she does wake, go to her, but do not pick her up. Rub her back, stroke her face....if she's really freaking out, pick her up to calm her, and then immediately back into the crib. If she is still crying and you know she's not hungry or wet, stay in the room in a chair beside the bed, so she knows you are there. Gradually move the chair away from the crib each night.
These are mere suggestions and you know your baby best. I just feel like there are dozens of things you can try first before opting for "cry it out".
If nothing you try works, and you are desperate, it might help to talk to her doctor again, to be sure there isn't a medical reason. I doubt there is, but reflux is a tricky thing, and the number one reason babies do not sleep well. Breastfed and cluster feed babies are really dependent on their moms for comfort, so I suspect this is the issue. If Dad is around, perhaps he can do some night consoling...he may not be able to console her at first, and she'll be mad, but at least you will know she is being tended to, and she will learn not to be so dependent on you at night. Good luck. Sleep deprivation ***** (((HUGS)))
Yes i agree how ever young they are they know how to play mummy,you need to let your baby cry this might take a few nights but your baby has to know bed time is bed time,my sister had to go through this process,she had to warn her neighbours,this was advised to her by the health visitor,they may be little but they change our whole lives dont they,good luck and just be strong,and if you find it hard to ignore your baby ask for help and leave the house for a few hours.
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