Hi there. I take it you are in the UK? I am also in the UK. Sadly we have to see separate Colorectal and Urogyne surgeons as I can see you already know... over here in the UK is so different to the US.
Have you had any womens physiotherapy? I see you get tightening which stops you from strengthening your PF. This is something that can be addressed with a vaginal dilator if your PT feels this would help you. I have a vaginal dilator due to a hypertonic PF ( too tight ) and this opens up the PF enough to get the length to be able to strengthen it.
Further to this... I also have several POPS as well as an intussuscepted bowel. I also have the Urogyne and Colorectal depts pointing me towards go back to the other dept. I do feel that you could look at seeing a good PT to begin with to find out what is happening to your muscles, PF, vagina and sphincta muscles to begin with and move from there. I am sure you dont want to rush into surgery but as you are you want to make changes.
I have to use laxido, suppositories, good evacuation technique and a mini enema called a qufora to be able to have a non straining BM and although this sounds like a lot to do, it has really helped me.
I dont know about banding and how this would affect you in terms of incontinence but you could look into the further with your surgeon as you dont have to make a decision right now.
I hope this helps. let us know how you get on
Further to this, I wonder if you have considered a vaginal pessary for your prolpases? A womens physiotherapist will know more about the range of pessaries than a Urogyne but it is the Urogyne that measures you so you will need to get a measuring guide and take it to your Urogyne if you want a pessary that needs to be measured for before ordering.
You seem to have considered operations as well